Hello Dear Zindagi!

After watching the entire movie, my 9-yr old daughter asked, "Is this the end of the movie?" 

B: "Yes. That's the end." 

M: "That's amazing Appa (father in my mother tongue). No love or lived happily ever after?"

Now, I join the conversation between father and daughter to make a point - "There is happily ever after Dear. Why do you ask so?"

M: "No boy-girl love, senseless pursuit and then struggle, no kissing on the lips (ewwwwwwwww - her expression) and then finally happily ever after?"

That was the discussion at the end of the movie in addition to many more such Q & A session during the course of the movie. The parent in me felt really happy that I do not have to explain (read having to justify against my sense of better judgement, just so that she does not get scared of the big bad world out there) to my child that some of the scenarios that are portrayed in the movie does not necessarily happen in real life (mind voice cynically saying, "Really??" at the exact same instance).

For the first time, watching a movie with a fast-growing-up toddler moving towards her teens, was not a stress but a pleasure. Thanks to Gauri Shinde for another wonderful movie, that was a pleasure to watch with the entire family. It is a movie that we could relate to with our everyday problems in modern context. Personally, I felt that the movie beautifully conveyed a lot of important things that are so much the need of the hour and also, it does the job of a "counsellor" pretty well and costs way less than what one would spend to get themselves treated by a DD "Dhimag ka Doctor" (as the movie calls the psychologist). 

Dialogues like:

1. "Do you go to a DD because you want to tell the world that you are gay?" "No, I go to DD because I want to tell myself that I am gay."

2. "Why should you have to choose the tough path to reach for your most important dream and why not take the easy route if you are not even ready to navigate the tough route that lays ahead of you?" - a wise suggestion for anyone facing a dilemma in life (which is ever existing is everyone's life irrespective of the age or role).

3. "Who are these people that keep following you around who get to decide what is right and what is wrong about the choices in your life?"

4. "When you are comfortable with what you want from life and accept who you are now, then why worry about what others would think?"

5. "Don't let your past blackmail your present to ruin your beautiful future"

6. "Think of your parents are normal people and then look at their actions"

are learning that each of us need in our lives to move forward and embrace the present and welcome the beautiful future that can come tomorrow. Dreading what the future will hold, is a sign that we have let our failures or disappointments from the past to take over our present and hence our future to be scary.

To write one post about the greatness of this movie is not enough. Looking at the movie from various perspectives only makes me in awe of the director's finesse to have handled the concept and importance of Psychotherapy, the taboo attached to getting help for emotional stress one faces in their life, the emotional baggage all of us carry around with us trying to compare us with the unrealistic expectation (which is also probably a self interpretation of what the society wants from us), the misguided mindset of wanting to credit someone other than the one deserving of credit alone to their success in life, attributing personality and status to the dress code and conduct (I can go on and lose track of what I wanted to say when I started the statement). 

The part where Kaira (played by Alia Bhatt) opens up about that one instance that created a fear in her mind which has ruled over her entire life up until that point was well captured. To define what is that one thing that pushes you into the disruptive cycle of depression and fear is a very difficult thing and to bring it on a screen using imagination is even tougher. But the writer, and the actors both have done a phenomenal job. Also, the point where Kaira and Dr.Jug (played by King Khan) part during their last session, is also a brilliant portrayal of reality. This particular concept has been talked about in many movies both in Bollywood and Hollywood in varied levels fo elaboration right from a passing comment in speed "I have to warn you. I've heard relationships based on intense experiences never work." to the Kiss that the teacher gives to the blind girl in movie "Black". This movie has dealt it with openly talking about it and saying it is okay to have such strong feelings towards someone who has emotionally or physically helped you, but equally reciprocating might not be possible or even if a similar reaction is existing from the other person involved also, it may not always be ethically right and/or have a detrimental effect on the emotional progress and then bid adieu and part as just a therapist and patient to go about their separate ways.

The movie ended on another great message about how you just need to fight the battle outside yourself and not within, only then will you be able to achieve your dreams in their fullest glory. This was not the only strong message. When Kaira's uncle (or father) tells Raghuvendra (played by Kunal Kapoor) that she achieved her dream because of him coming into her life for which Raghuvendra pauses a couple of seconds, and then says "She did what she did only because I was NOT part of her life" and raises a toast to it, then both Kaira's father and his uncle tend to agree reluctantly. 

This is one movie, I would probably be buying a personal copy to keep to myself. After movie "Salangai Oli", this is one movie, I am sure I am going to be seeing in repetitions and never get tired of watching even after the point where I can narrate the dialogues by heart. 

#DearZindagi

Kabali - The phenomenon

I know I am late in my review of the phenomenon called Kabali (a Rajini - another phenomenon - starer). To justify this lateness, I would blame it on the rating of the movie which did not allow my children to view it in the theaters in London and I had to travel to India during their summer break, and finally I got to see this movie today.

Before I go to the actual movie review (or my opinion of the movie), the reason I called Kabali and Rajini, both as a phenomenon is not only because of my hubby B who is a die hard fanatic of Rajini, but also the fact that the age range of people who watched Kabali today from my family was between 5 years and 60 years, and the movie managed to keep even the 5 year old awake and glued to the screen till the climax, despite the fact that he was fully fed and almost ready to have his afternoon nap.

From the day the movie was named, my fanatic hubby has been talking about it non-stop. So the hype for the movie was quite high for me. He has been sharing this fanaticism with our children. For the last 6 months, the only songs that our family has listened to is from Kabali. From the month of June, B has been waiting for the release date feverishly and planning his official trips and meetings in such a way that he doesn't miss the first day first show. If it was even possible, he would have traveled from London to Chennai for the FDFS. Instead he managed to watch the movie on the biggest screen in the Europe "Le Grand Rex, Paris" and he went gaga about having had the "Dharshan" of his "God" on such a huge screen in FDFS (Preview show) - July 21. He saw the movie a second time with his Mom on July 23 in London.

We traveled to India and he watched the movie a third time with his nephew on Aug 5, in his hometown, Virudhunagar. Today was his fourth viewing of the movie in Chennai and I found him tearing up in various scenes in the movie. I am sure B will watch this movie many more times in theater and will end up owning an original DVD of the same when ever it comes out. This reaction is not exclusive to just my household... Worldwide, the reaction during the release of the movie, is nothing less than a phenomenon.

I loved the movie and Rajini's role. After Enthiran, this is another movie in which I enjoyed watching Rajini's acting. B and I always have this discussion where I say, Rajini stopped acting the moment he started becoming superstar and does only formula movies, while he holds to the fact that Rajini's presence is more than enough.

This movie, the character suited his age. And he flawlessly executed the role of a husband, father and Don to the best extent possible. It was a pleasure to watch him effortlessly fit into the character and dominate the entire movie. Equally good was Radhika Apte's acting. Their reunion was just perfect... Again, the fight sequence where Rajini himself fought were more acceptable and realistic in contrast to the larger than life fighting sequences of his earlier movies.

Enjoyed watching the movie and it was a pleasure to see the actor Rajini in his fullest capacity on screen performing a role fitting his age and executing it to perfection!!!

MAGIZHCHI!!!!

Latest update: Tonight when B went shopping with our children to buy their dresses, he ended up buying a Kabali T-Shirt for himself and 2 Kabali draw string bags - one for him and one for his nephew. 

My ordeal with Chennai rains as a Non-Resident Chennaite !

It has been raining (pouring, to be apt) for more than a couple of weeks now in Chennai. My parents have had intermittent power supply (notice that I said power supply, not power failures) and live in Velachery - one of the most inundated parts of Chennai.

London November 30, 2015  4 pm, in my routine call to my Mom, she informed that it had stopped raining and that the Sun was out and she even went out to her Abacus class since last couple of days.

December 01, 2015 10:00 a.m. My Mom and she says that the rains have started again and is pouring heavily. There is water stagnated on the streets and there is no power since yesterday night. It is was not uncommon, when monsoons arrive for people in Chennai.

Rewind a couple of decades....I remember my school days when we used to carry our uniforms in plastic covers, wade through hip deep water, which essentially means your school wear completely drenched. So we could not leave our homes wearing the School uniform. We used to walk till our friends' home - which were closer to the main road & was at a higher level than where our home was at that time - and then change into our school uniforms and leave our wet clothes to dry in their house. While we returned from school we could do the reverse process and then return to our homes, again wading through the stagnant waters. This would be for a week or so every monsoon.

Then I remember campaigns started on rain water harvesting and the storm water drain projects which gave us hope that it might get better in future. But nothing changed much. We eventually started accepting the fact that we should be ready to brave hip-deep water, during the peak raining season. Almost every 10 years, there would be heavy floods which would fill the Adyar & Cooum Rivers to its brink, and the slum dwellers living in its banks would always get displaced due to floods and the excess water that is opened out from the neighbouring lakes and reservoirs. I specifically remember 1986 and 2005 monsoon. In 1986 (the year we moved into our own home after the construction completed), the place where we lived (Guindy) was flooded with hip deep waters for adults and they had to carry us (kids) and our great grandmother (lifted by chair) over their shoulders and walk all the way to the main road.

A picture of the Adyar river from
Saidapet Bridge in 2005 floods

In 2005, after celebrating our first Diwali after marriage in my parents' home in Guindy, we had to move to my apartment (near the Vijayanagar bus terminus), as the water levels were rising, as it was better located. But after 2 days of torrential rain and power failures, we had some more guests seeking asylum, and so we had over 8 people crammed up in my apartment. Adding to this, we were scared that the water would enter my apartment soon, as we were on the ground floor. We cleared out the bottom two shelves and decided to leave to "more" higher ground before it was too late and "migrated" to T.Nagar where my uncle lived. But thankfully the rain stopped in a couple of days and we went back to our respective homes, laughing over our experience. I remember the blog we wrote about it in 2005 with a few pictures that we took then, inside ourapartment complex and the view of Adyar river flowing in full spate under the Saidapet Bridge. There have been many in-between...

2005 Floods: Raft parked just at the
entry to my apartment building

Present day in London.... All these memories were going through my mind when my Mom told me about the consistent rain for more than 10 days in Chennai. As we have gone through this difficult situation very often, I assumed my Mom would have managed it well, stocked up enough food and water to last at least for a week if need be and the only major consequences are due to power failures.

December 2, 2015: I wake up on Wednesday morning,  and go on as usual to get my children to school. My husband was travelling to France. I come back home and try calling my Mom to check if she was OK. I could not reach her and thought maybe due to lack of power her phone battery drained out and then log in to Facebook to see a slew of messages and pictures about the bad situation in Chennai with some places under 6 feet of water !!! For a few seconds I lost all senses... I just sat there still. My fingers went cold and then adrenaline rushed in. I tried reaching out all my contacts in Chennai - family, friends, neighbours, maid, worried sick about their safety. I also tried calling their numbers directly through Viber, WhatsApp, land lines.. But none of them were reachable (later read in the media that cell phone towers were down as well)

December 3, 2015, I wake at 5:30 a.m. (half an hour before the alarm went off) and start calling again. Still the same, no land lines or mobiles reachable. Still no news from home. Facebook and Twitter are "flooded" with NRC's (Non-resident Chennaites) like me, posting messages with addresses of their loved ones and asking for some kind of information on them. None of my friends or family still reachable. But I just keep going through the daily chores as my young family is dependent on my sane condition, especially with my Husband away as well. My husband calls me back in his lunch time (after reading my SOS texts and tweets) and I still have not been able to contact my parents. After sharing my plight with him, I went back to calling  every Chennai number on my address book. Finally by end of the day, I was getting frantic. Meanwhile, my sister (currently in Dubai) seemed to have been lucky to have talked to my Mom (for a few seconds), where we came to know that they were safe, but then the call got disconnected before sharing any additional information. While this provided us with some relief, it did not alleviate our fears as TV channels continue to scare with predictions for rains to continue and intensify during the next 48 hours.

December 4, 2015,  After sleeping for just 5 hours, I woke up at 5:30 a.m. again to a message on WhatsApp from my sister that our parents were heading outside Chennai (to Coimbatore) with my Uncle's family. As their mobile phones were charged (seems they checked in to a hotel the previous night, after being rescued on boat), I was finally able to speak with them. By evening time, I was able to reach all my extended family and friends through WhatsApp or otherwise and learn about their safety and their experiences battling the rains.

The feeling of "helplessness" of not being able to do anything but to dial number after number, to be met with a message that kept saying that "This number is either switched off or not reachable", was so frustrating. The only solace at that time was social networking sites that kept updating more current information (than the TV News channels) and Google emergency response link that had grouped all the information and made it easy to search for.

On the positive side, the response of Chennaites across the world was so heartening. In addition to that, the spirit of the local people & volunteers on the ground was phenomenal. I am thankful to everyone, who directly helped (or indirectly involved in helping) my family and friends to stay safe through this ordeal. A special thanks to the NDRF for going beyond their call of duty to assist massive rescue operations across the city.

Proud to hail from such a city  - that is always ready to stretch a helping hand to anyone in need, without any kind of discrimination, facing adversity or criticism with a smile - shows real spirit & character!!

Words fall short to describe the gruelling experience of those 72 hours, till I could reach family and friends.  Reading my Mom's experience - published in Rediff.com News -  made me re-live the entire emotional roller coaster, worrying for their safety and the safe return of my Husband from France (due to the recent high alert situation post the unfortunate events in Paris during mid November).

In the current age, when lives are claimed so easily due to disasters (natural and man-made), Tamil Nadu and France's solidarity demonstrated during crisis should be a lesson to all of us to understand about Humanity and its strength. We should learn from this and strive consciously do our share (however small it is) to contribute to the betterment of the society as a whole (which is easily possible when we consider the whole world as our own family, or following the concepts "Do unto others what you want for yourself", "Be the change that you wish to see").