tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69774632024-03-13T11:36:14.531+00:00Free rein to thoughtsA personal take on a plethora of topics ranging from Responsible Parenting, Mindfulness, Perspectives, Life Skills, Civic Responsibilities, and moreAarthi Bharathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13590058855322273744noreply@blogger.comBlogger116125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-58312644470249687722023-12-31T19:53:00.000+00:002023-12-31T19:53:01.667+00:00BITS 1997 Batch Silver Jubilee Reunion (21st – 24th December 2023)<p><span style="text-align: justify;">I am still not ready to let go of 2023 especially because it had been a perfect
yin-yang kind of year for me. What better way to ring the year end festive
season than to spend an extended weekend with friends from 25 years ago and
relive the magic of the place named BITS, Pilani.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9erLbkInLt_0Fe4iG1A9sh550xwM4n9l-yWidMyZVnD4rApka85E9TyscIV0aaSgFsmim3R9Ldhf3v80fRdxSDrJTWJdm4m6-N3XaCSzRaKre4EY0bWIbhcQim8SkgMF3cwhbcOma7Y7h8uaQAxDvmRHX6-f4AcWgKvVh5gDhOnu4TIlDt2-9/s2000/BITSPilani.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2000" data-original-width="1333" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9erLbkInLt_0Fe4iG1A9sh550xwM4n9l-yWidMyZVnD4rApka85E9TyscIV0aaSgFsmim3R9Ldhf3v80fRdxSDrJTWJdm4m6-N3XaCSzRaKre4EY0bWIbhcQim8SkgMF3cwhbcOma7Y7h8uaQAxDvmRHX6-f4AcWgKvVh5gDhOnu4TIlDt2-9/w266-h400/BITSPilani.png" width="266" /></a></div><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">21<sup>st</sup> – 24<sup>th</sup> December marked the </span><span lang="EN-GB">silver jubilee reunion for the 1997 Batch of BITS Pilani</span><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;"> and I am still revelling in the </span><span lang="EN-GB">magic of those four days. The most amazing end-of-the-year
experience one could have, and hold it beyond the turn of the year as well –
time with friends to reminiscence in the nostalgia of yester years, by visiting
the campus that shaped us during our late teens, make new memories in the same
place by giving back, take in the changes that the campus has gone through, and
still see the remnants from the years that we spent on campus and more.</span><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-GB">Penning this note
was an exercise to organise the flood of emotions and memories I have been
experiencing, and in the process have a memoire to look back upon fondly for
years to come. There is another personal reason for wanting to hold on to those
wonderful moments. This was my first outing (on my own) in the last s6 months. I
was (and still am) recovering from a surgery (two if you consider the minor
surgery for addressing an infected incision site) that was a result of a freak
road accident in May 2023. Only around mid-November did I start walking without
support. My surgeon and physiotherapist approved me for this travel only on 19<sup>th</sup>
December 2023 (based on the progress of my recovery), after clearly explaining the
dos and don’ts, and a knee-brace to be worn all the time I was on my foot and amidst
crowd. Of course, I was scared, yet I wanted to be part of this once-in-a-lifetime
event, which is why I hadn’t cancelled my travel bookings, that I made before
my accident. I packed light and only for the mandatory dress code activities. The
rest was to be winged (repeat, pile-on, or…) as any student did while on
campus.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span lang="EN-GB">21<sup>st</sup>
December 2023<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-GB"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ3vHaSBu25NXdB9NZUAgpzhJopZfWz3eBBx90nEpoF9SxW4Hszl6ID_3X7iHF_5M-Ya4wFgr9QASQXlbcEESM2qJ4JcV3niorbmr0UVBC-4npX8y91xGgMpD2Y4jiykWXOmwcMy9q9Swq8-kZ_OYXGJMbuN1ODL-iQhs-rPNDZaWXdBBhmxWE/s2000/Bollywood%20Gala.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2000" data-original-width="1333" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ3vHaSBu25NXdB9NZUAgpzhJopZfWz3eBBx90nEpoF9SxW4Hszl6ID_3X7iHF_5M-Ya4wFgr9QASQXlbcEESM2qJ4JcV3niorbmr0UVBC-4npX8y91xGgMpD2Y4jiykWXOmwcMy9q9Swq8-kZ_OYXGJMbuN1ODL-iQhs-rPNDZaWXdBBhmxWE/w266-h400/Bollywood%20Gala.png" width="266" /></a></div>Come 21<sup>st</sup>
December, my heart rate increased in anticipation as well as anxiety and I know
I was not alone in the anxiety part, yet my mom, spouse and children who have
been caring for me the last 6 months happily sent me on my merry way with
encouraging words and words of caution to not overdo (knowing that I tend to do
exactly that). I thought I would be the only BITSian on that flight to Delhi
from Chennai. I was pleasantly surprised to have another BITSian, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarathbabu_Elumalai">Foodking Sarathbabu</a>
as my travel companion and he willingly helped me with luggage until we checked
into Hotel Taj, Gurugram. Some of my batchmates were already there and some
trickled in behind me at the check-in counter. My fogged memory had difficulty
with names though many faces were familiar. Thankfully quite a few were having similar
issues and we decided to blame it on our age, mommy brain and what not and
started re-introducing ourselves. There was a hi-tea icebreaker session a
couple of hours before dinner. The dinner was set up in the 1990s Bollywood
theme with red carpet and arches at the entry of the banquet hall, photo booth
with props, and drinks of choice. The usual gratitude to the OC (Organising Committee)
& Rec n Acc (Recreation and Accommodation) team that made this event memorable
sharing the journey leading up to the event followed by a pop-trivia quiz about
BITS and our favourite hangout spots set the competitive edge rolling and the
energy levels high to start off the music night by music clubbers after we
finished our dinner. <o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-GB">The peppy
numbers by music clubbers saw many people on the dance floor. Except for the difference
in venue (from BITS), the energy levels were the same, and I felt that all of
us were back to the teens that we were in 1997. Even if my foot was alright, I
had two left feet when it came to dancing, so I was happily watching the others
dance, while I sang along. When Marline dedicated a song for the first loves
and started signing <b>Zara Zara Behekta Hai</b> from <b>Rehana Hai Tere Dil
Mein</b>, I was missing my BITSian life partner, as the Tamizh version of this
song was our all-time favourite (Vaseegara from the movie Minnale). She
transitioned to the Tamizh version halfway through the song and the sing along
became more personal. After a couple of songs, I headed to my room, ensuring
that I followed the instructions of my surgeon & physiotherapist,
preserving my strength and energy for the remaining three days. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span lang="EN-GB"></span></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYgoFcpwKMR7-TwgqQe6QDmP4qFJNRqJgHs2HxUxa7mOzeDNNZB5g4l0llQJSZlgwckeuO8w-wLEx9XHYozrRBbY1rfBgyhbG02fEj5AGCB2fEzp5yx3Y0OdMa6ZKLPzfILdWK9irh6UR745VD-8t7ygOc3CYs2aOrmGwIUCdycxUmANbeepcO/s2000/FD97Returns.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2000" data-original-width="1333" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYgoFcpwKMR7-TwgqQe6QDmP4qFJNRqJgHs2HxUxa7mOzeDNNZB5g4l0llQJSZlgwckeuO8w-wLEx9XHYozrRBbY1rfBgyhbG02fEj5AGCB2fEzp5yx3Y0OdMa6ZKLPzfILdWK9irh6UR745VD-8t7ygOc3CYs2aOrmGwIUCdycxUmANbeepcO/s320/FD97Returns.png" width="213" /></a></b></div><b>22<sup>nd</sup>
December 2023<o:p></o:p></b><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-GB">On reaching the
Pilani campus after a 4-hour long drive from Gurugram in a fun-filled bus ride
with my friends, the first thing I did was to get ready for the Saraswati
Mandir visit in traditional wear for a batch photo. After a while in the
mandir, I went back to Vfast hostel (the on-campus stay for visitors) for the
bonfire night and dinner. The rooms did not have heater which brought back
memories of the shivering nights & early mornings of our initial winter in
Pilani, especially for those of us who came from warm and humid tropical
climate like Chennai (then Madras). It took a couple of semesters to get used to
this weather and learn about layering to stay warm. Thankfully the water
heaters at VFast were functional, which spared us from recreating the no-bath
experience of our student days in winter.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span lang="EN-GB">23<sup>rd</sup>
December 2023<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-GB">The morning
began with a walk/run on campus. I did not join this for obvious reason </span><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol-ext; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji";">😊</span><span lang="EN-GB"> After breakfast, it was the
department visits and stroll around the institute on the agenda, before the
Leadership faculty interaction. I decided to start my day by visiting <b>BITS
Library</b>. For someone who was (and is) always seen with a book in hand no
other place could have been a starting point. As I entered the library, I was thrilled
to find my debut book featured on the display table marked as <b>MUST READ</b>.
I had to get a picture clicked here with the Deputy Librarian Mr. Ghosh. I also
handed over a few more paperback copies of my book <a href="https://amzn.eu/d/hT3ANYT"><b>Imperfect Parenting: Honest Stories from
Global Parents</b></a> (for the library of the other BITS Pilani campuses). A
BITSian author friend of mine <b>Ramya Srinivasan</b> (FD97A3PSXXX) had
entrusted me with the responsibility of passing on copies of her book, <a href="https://amzn.eu/d/1WXEgTq"><b>The Write Way</b></a>, to be added to the
special display shelf exclusively showcasing works by BITSian authors in BITS
Library, and for the library of other campuses of BITS (Hyderabad, Goa). From
here I walked to the <b>Rotunda</b> just opposite to the iconic <b>clock tower
of BITS</b> for our batch photos. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-GB"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrFq8m8Xu5smd8kjf-NtO22CtIE2cgKxSdanXLjTzkJeor2xg2BRMPzvsWFxsijvxhiWsjb8d3KcI7c1ydjJOhYftZnDNTx9SoGsEwTwprdN7nGDiPnvckntgSRIb8WNkqkOe0Zab4cMqBzUU5DYsEU76vzpWLDnoyythI-yX3M8ICyOOYkii2/s2000/AroundCampus.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2000" data-original-width="1333" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrFq8m8Xu5smd8kjf-NtO22CtIE2cgKxSdanXLjTzkJeor2xg2BRMPzvsWFxsijvxhiWsjb8d3KcI7c1ydjJOhYftZnDNTx9SoGsEwTwprdN7nGDiPnvckntgSRIb8WNkqkOe0Zab4cMqBzUU5DYsEU76vzpWLDnoyythI-yX3M8ICyOOYkii2/w426-h640/AroundCampus.png" width="426" /></a></div>This Rotunda
connected to the <b>New Academic Block (NAB)</b>, an underground new block with
lecture rooms and auditorium which ensures that the view of the institute and
Saraswati Mandir remains unobstructed, and the greenery is also retained as
ceiling of the buildings.<o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-GB">We had a Leadership
Faculty Interaction at the <b>J C Choudary NAB Auditorium</b>. I found myself pleasantly
overwhelmed when the current <b>Director of BITS Pilani, Pilani campus, Dr.
Sudhirkumar V Barai</b>, recognised me by my name and initiated a conversation.
The conversation itself is a haze because of the flood of emotions that was
experiencing. His appreciation on my published book and this interaction will
be a memory that will be etched in my memory for life, in addition to the one-on-one
conversation with <b>Dr. Arya Kumar</b>, <b>Dean Alumni Relations</b>. Never in
my wildest dream did I, an introvert, ever imagine that I would be in the
presence of such esteemed visionaries, thought leaders, and vibrant
personalities. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-GB">Next on the
agenda was lunch organised by the Director for our batch at the RB (Ram Budh)
mess. The scheduled itinerary of events had a break of 2.5 hours after this, letting
each of us do what we wished. I decided to visit my hostel (MB – Meera Bhawan)
rooms and managed to see a couple from the outside as they were locked by its
current inhabitants who had gone home for their semester break. Having the
campus all to ourselves was a huge plus, letting us become the teenagers
without having worry about acting our age. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-GB">I am still
amazed at how I managed to be on my foot all through the morning and afternoon
until 3 p.m., the time retired to my room and to wait for my family (spouse and
2 kids) who were enroute from Chennai. They arrived at 4:30 p.m. They were
welcomed by my batchmates as well and we made a visit to Saraswati Mandir. From
there we went to Sky Lab, said hello to Pappu and had his special chai, which
was a regular part of our lives when we (me and my spouse) were students. From
there we joined the rest of the gang for the hi-tea in IC (Institute Cafeteria).
After hi-tea we walked down to FD II to the spot where I had proposed (to my
current spouse - Kaaba), before heading to C’Not place (no less than a similar
named place in Delhi). <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-GB">I finished my
dinner with my batchmates while my family went to Blue Moon restaurant, to
enjoy the signature dish of Fried Paneer Maggi. After dinner, I joined my
family and shared a plate of fried Maggi with Kaaba, while my kids enjoyed
plain Maggi – which they felt was more delicious (maybe the cold weather) than
the one we eat in Chennai. My family dropped me at the main Audi (Auditorium)
for the <b>Music Nite</b> organised by the music clubbers of our batch. I was
tired and ready to retire for the day but wanted to enjoy this experience. So I
stayed for a couple of song while my family checked in to their room in an accommodation
just outside the campus, off-loaded their luggage and came back to pick me up
from the Audi and dropped me back in my room, before they went to theirs. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><b><span lang="EN-GB">24 December
2023<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-GB">It was time to
bid goodbye to the campus (for now). I was happy that I was able to make it to
this reunion with my limited mobility and managed to cover as many events as
possible and quite a few places to visit, relive old memories and make new ones,
until my next visit. On this last day we also got to experience the morning fog
(Kohara), which is a usual occurrence in the month of December and January. It
is such a beautiful one to enjoy watching, if you are not driving through it. I
was on the last bus out of Pilani. The day before was a full day on my feet,
and I still am wondering how I managed to be on my feet for almost 2/3<sup>rd</sup>
of my waking time, but it did take a toll on my weak muscles. The pain was
pronounced, and my recovering leg felt stiff. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-GB">From the time I
checked into Taj, there was always someone close by to ask if I was okay and
always ready to help with anything that I wanted - drink, plate refills, water
or to ensure that I could safely get back to my room. Even on the bus ride to
and from Pilani, I had people getting me chai because I could not (and did not
want to) get on and off the bus multiple times. This willingness to be there
for each other, pitch-in without being asked for, go the extra mile to ensure
that everyone had fun, and a place where formalities take a back seat is how
the magic happens here and stays with us through our life. This is one place
where masks come off, and we all laugh, talk, and enjoy with no barriers (gender,
language, religion, economic/social status) blocking our interaction and fun.
We are peers and we all are bound by the camaraderie of bringing that magical
spirit for everyone to experience. During my recovery, I joined the Yearbook
team as a volunteer to ensure that I was a small part of the reunion, even if I
was unable to make it in person to the campus if my mobility did not improve,
but I am so grateful that I was able to make it and the yearbook became an
additional colour to the beautiful memories that I am taking with me from these
4 days of unadulterated fun and magic with friends in a place that was pivotal
in shaping me to who I am today.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-GB">In 1997 when I
got me admission letter to BITS, my dream college, and yet I started faltering
because I had already joined B.Sc Mathematics in Ethiraj College, Chennai, my
mom and maternal uncle sat me down and convinced me to go with this advice “You
are going to BITS to experience life. Studies can happen anywhere. So go to
BITS for its experience and exposure.” I am so glad I heeded to their advice.
Even when I started for this trip, this uncle of mine messaged me “Go and bask
in friendly adulation” and how so right he was. The friendly adulation was so authentic
and warm that even after a week, I am still basking in it, and I doubt if it
will wane at all soon! Maybe this was the driving energy that provided me with
the strength to be able to visit as many places on campus as I did as well. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span lang="EN-GB">Many of us had
lost touch with each other after graduating. This reunion and the technology of
today has helped us to stay connected with each other from here on. Hoping for
more gatherings in the future (small or big) to keep the spirit of BITS Pilani
and its magic alive all through our lifetime. Ever grateful for the opportunity
that I had to be a BITSian forever!<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoTitle" style="text-align: center;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-size: 24.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 22.0pt;">Wishing you all a very Happy
New Year 2024!<o:p></o:p></span></p>Aarthi Prabhakaranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09787880604451082866noreply@blogger.com0Pilani, Rajasthan, India28.3802101 75.6091696-4.0713214643867843 40.4529196 60.831741664386783 110.7654196tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-43942765642704380402023-07-05T07:46:00.004+01:002023-07-06T04:59:45.983+01:00Book Review - Lost Edges by Salini Vineeth<p><b><i><u></u></i></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfBowHozckVFBY2yTAde3_u4SHIAdxcMUXflm23g6AWPt1PwdY7VkeaGCv4gfBX52emh_jgUHbMpXTebPjnnT4f6OK3BjT6L5ZfRPeibou8VBGyqtz2SI8Dab9N1IYcpG5TDsIhV_0-HKlrbNQ2iT1E-I_jJ1d-53UK21khQjjxWFA1Sri8dJu/s2560/Lost%20Edges%20Cover%20Page.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2560" data-original-width="1647" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfBowHozckVFBY2yTAde3_u4SHIAdxcMUXflm23g6AWPt1PwdY7VkeaGCv4gfBX52emh_jgUHbMpXTebPjnnT4f6OK3BjT6L5ZfRPeibou8VBGyqtz2SI8Dab9N1IYcpG5TDsIhV_0-HKlrbNQ2iT1E-I_jJ1d-53UK21khQjjxWFA1Sri8dJu/w258-h400/Lost%20Edges%20Cover%20Page.jpg" width="258" /></a><b><i><u></u></i></b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b style="font-weight: bold;"><i><u>Disclaimer</u></i></b><b>: </b>There may be a few spoilers and if you would like to read the book without being influenced by the review, please come back here after reading the <a href="https://www.amazon.in/Lost-Edges-Salini-Vineeth/dp/9358111011" style="font-weight: bold;" target="_blank"><b>book</b></a><b>.</b></div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;">As reviews started coming in about the book, touching upon mental health and its importance, I decided to order the book. I placed the <a href="https://www.amazon.in/Lost-Edges-Salini-Vineeth/dp/9358111011" target="_blank">amazon order</a> on 28 May 2023 and the book was due to be delivered on 30 May 2023. While I was eagerly awaiting to receive my book, Life had a different plan for me though. On 29 May 2023, I was injured in a freak road accident, admitted in the hospital for compound fracture in my right tibia & fibula which resulted in a surgery and put a long road of recovery. The book arrived on 30 May 2023 and my family brought it to the hospital the next day.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">I started reading the book during my hospital stay. It helped me navigate through my own emotional journey during my recovery as I was reading about the life journeys of Geetanjali & Ravi. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">The very first chapter caught my attention specifically because of the aspect of how well it dwelled on the internal conundrum of Ravi in the waiting room of a mental health professional and the myriad of irrational thoughts that keep popping in his consciousness asserting the Tamil idiom “மனம் ஒரு குரங்கு” (Manam oru Kurangu - meaning our mind is a monkey – or more elaborately, our mind jumps around like a monkey with no rhyme or reason). As his mind jumps around, we also a get a glimpse of Geetu (Geetanjali) from his perspective. As the story progresses, it was a pleasure reading the inferences of events from both Ravi & Geetanjali’s perspectives. This is the reality of life. Every incident has multiple perspectives. These perspectives are from the biased views of the specific individuals who view them through their biased lenses that are a result of their lived experiences from childhood that shape their values systems and learning as a result of navigating situations & circumstances.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Amit, the friend who is the first point of contact for Geetanjali to seek out for professional relationship counselling, does justice to both his personal and professional relationship, by making sure that he just serves as a first point of contact guiding them towards the appropriate support systems either of them need and not letting the conflict of interest of the personal relationship cloud over the professional services that he could be providing. The hand off has been dealt very well.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">The research for the book for addressing the sensitive topic of mental health care, childhood trauma and its long-lasting impact including the shaping of one’s persona, importance of therapy, the Indian context of the associated taboo & inhibition is evident in the way the plot unfolds. Both the lead characters have their fair share of childhood trauma and experiences that have been instrumental in shaping their coping mechanisms, which travels with them well into adulthood. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Though Arnav as a character is very short lived in the plot, he still managed to make a place in my mind as I saw him to be an individual with a deeper character who could be largely misunderstood by most, as he does not care to fit into the societal mould of expectations. He is his own master and slave to none. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">I loved how the story ventured into the different relationships & their quality, that each of the lead roles have in their life – parental, sibling, and friends. And in doing so, the plot touches upon the way they perceive every challenge that life throws at them. Without mentioning the technical terms, the plot touches upon temperament, lived experiences, resilience, trauma, PTSD, self-medication (and its harm), and more. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Kudos to the author, <b><a href="https://salinivineeth.in/" target="_blank">Salini Vineeth</a></b>, for being verbal about the need for regular follow ups for prescribed medication and its adjustment for better mental health. She also highlights the need for the psychiatric treatment and therapeutic intervention to go hand in hand and overlap with each other for the intervention to be effective for the individual seeking these services and support. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">As a person who has been passionate about human behaviour and its drivers, I have consciously pursued to qualify myself to understand this from a holistic perspective in both educational context as well as in reading up about current research including interdisciplinary research in biology, sociology, & psychology that shed light on the interplay of these fields in driving human behaviour. From this position, I would say the Salini Vineeth has done a fabulous job of bringing the interplay of emotions, relationships, and environment on an individual’s behaviour shaping beautifully. The importance of appropriate support systems and the complexity of its availability in the Indian context is also well highlighted. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">I would recommend that this book be read by mental health professionals too for them to understand the client’s world with its multiple layers and their complex interplay on the client’s cognition, behaviour, and everyday choices. This will enrich the therapeutic intervention for the client, as it will be an approach that is holistic. It might also motivate the therapist/professional to explore & understand areas outside their specific area of expertise, thereby making eclectic intervention a norm in therapeutic strategy! </p><p style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://salinivineeth.in/" target="_blank">Salini Vineeth</a> – also an alumnus like me from BITS, Pilani, has also authored other books: </p><p></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li style="text-align: justify;"><b><a href="https://www.amazon.in/Everyday-People-Tales-people-know-ebook/dp/B07YNGV1CK/" target="_blank">Everyday People: Tales of People you know</a></b>, a collection of short stories. This was the first book that I read. What pulled me to read this was her <b><a href="https://salinivineeth.in/tiny-tales/" target="_blank">Tiny Tales</a></b>. I have been a fan of her writing long before this book because of Tiny Tales. She has a way with words in expressing the layers in the fabric of human emotions and interaction.</li><li style="text-align: justify;"><b><a href="https://www.amazon.in/Magic-Square-Salini-Vineeth-ebook/dp/B07KSHCVQL" target="_blank">Magic Square</a></b>, a novella. This is on my TBR (To Be Read) list.</li><li style="text-align: justify;">Travel Guides for <b><a href="https://www.amazon.in/Hampi-History-Architecture-complete-guide-ebook/dp/B079KHXH6W/" target="_blank">Hampi</a></b> and <b><a href="https://www.amazon.in/Badami-History-Sculptures-complete-ancient-ebook/dp/B08BZPZGY2/" target="_blank">Badami</a></b>.</li></ol><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;">In addition to the above self-published books, she has also been part of a few anthologies. Her stories have also been published in various magazines. You can find the links to these on her website.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">This post is also part of <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" target="_blank">Blogchatter’s</a> <b><a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/blogchatters-reading-challenge-tbr-challenge-2023" target="_blank">#TBRChallenge 2023</a></b>. This blog is also part of <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/guidelines-for-the-best-causeachatter-experience" target="_blank"><b>#CauseAChatter challenge</b></a>, as this book focuses on individual mental health and its long standing impact on relationships through its various characters. </p><p style="text-align: justify;"><b><span style="color: #990000;">This is not a sponsored review</span></b>.</p>Aarthi Prabhakaranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09787880604451082866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-48046871197514516372023-04-17T19:19:00.005+01:002023-04-29T18:55:00.309+01:00Book Review - BITS and pieces by Harshita Nanda<p><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" style="font-size: 11pt;"></span></p><div style="text-align: justify;">Setting the context (or should I say disclaimer) before I delve deep into this book review – I am a BITSian too, Harshita & Girija’s batchmate, have been their ‘<b>wingie</b>’ during my 5 years (a dualite) in BITS, Pilani. So as Girija mentions in the foreword ‘It was a pleasure illustrating her BITS and bits of my BITS through this wonderful book’, my book review might be a place where I share my BITS as I review <a href="https://undecidedindubai.wordpress.com/" target="_blank"><b>Harshita Nanda</b></a>’s BITS. So, if you feel my review is biased, you now know why!</div><p></p><div><div style="text-align: justify;">By the way, if you are wondering what <b>wingie</b> means, you can read all about it in <b>Chapter 23</b> of the book <a href="https://www.amazon.in/gp/product/B0BGGYGHKT/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i1" target="_blank"><b>BITS and pieces : A Collage of My BITSian Memories </b></a>😊. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Incidentally this is the first book that I got issued from the <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" target="_blank">Blogchatter</a>’s <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/book-review-program-from-blogchatter" target="_blank">Book Review programme</a>. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcWM_8-bDP2LR2RrFOK9g9JvAVKAWxuWjFV4aHRJ3gzRkxED0p10MjQ_qTfihgTjDdYAfMMWEc3rlP6V5ay8SRZMb8nyxWL1MIUiRzi2ijXmMD6U7KovS5qSWw791CttH6s2e9B8YIN54v8VuLnBRfWXtZhz3yijJE9NFhAEYu7cUVSEBDCw/s1360/BITS%20and%20Pieces.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1360" data-original-width="850" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcWM_8-bDP2LR2RrFOK9g9JvAVKAWxuWjFV4aHRJ3gzRkxED0p10MjQ_qTfihgTjDdYAfMMWEc3rlP6V5ay8SRZMb8nyxWL1MIUiRzi2ijXmMD6U7KovS5qSWw791CttH6s2e9B8YIN54v8VuLnBRfWXtZhz3yijJE9NFhAEYu7cUVSEBDCw/w400-h640/BITS%20and%20Pieces.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I always read any book from the foreword to the glossary, and I was pleasantly surprised to find my name in the acknowledgment section of the book, and I was jumping up and down in joy because that made me feel it was like old times again, journeying together – took me back to our BSL days from when we were together in BITS. And the mention of BSL in Chapter 2 of the book took me on a trip down my memory lane which included the streets of Triplicane, Chennai (India), where one could scout for used books at heavily discounted price (better your bargaining power, the better is the deal). This was my go-to place for filling the racks of BSL with choice of books that I wanted to read and stock-up for my fellow BITSians. I am sure by now you are itching to know what BSL expands to😊, you can buy your copy of <a href="https://www.amazon.in/gp/product/B0BGGYGHKT/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i1" target="_blank">BITS and pieces</a> and jump to <b>Chapter 2</b>.</div></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">As her narration continued from one chapter to another, my personal memories of BITS were also playing out in my mind and I vividly remember getting ready for the Fresher’s welcome in a Black & Grey silk saree (my Mom’s), as an invitee of Bharath (my now spouse) to his hostel (Ram Bhavan) day and then the memory is fuzzy. I don’t remember if I went and got back or as I came to the open space near the entrance of MB we were told that the fresher’s welcome was cancelled. Now you are wondering what MB means… I know 😊… There are two expansions for MB with a slight differentiation and both these expansions are part of the <b>Chapter 13</b>.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">When I was reading the book, I noted down a lot of points and pages as references on which I wanted to talk about. Seeing how just talking about a couple of memories, has made my book review verbose, I am just going to add one more part of the book that was a pleasant surprise… It is a mention of me again in the <b>Chapter 20</b>, when she was talking about our cherished train journey on Tamil Nadu Express. While I knew I had relatives meet me at a couple of stations in between Madras (now Chennai) and Delhi, I completely zoned out on the home food that got delivered to me. This was a welcome aspect especially on our journey back home from Delhi as we would be dependent on the food from the pantry car or the snacks, we picked up on specific stations like Itarsi for bread omelette, Nagpur for the oranges (especially during the season) and Vijayawada for its Aam paapad.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;">A review of this amazing book, about BITS & its personal vocabulary which is weaved into our personalised memories for every BITSian, would be incomplete if I do not mention a few more things:</div></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li style="text-align: justify;">Blue Moon's <b>Fried Maggi</b> is an emotion that connects generations of BITSians. (<b>Chapter 3</b>)</li><li style="text-align: justify;"><b>Saraswati Mandir</b> on the campus was my go-to place when I needed to centre myself. The inner sanctum and the lawns outside on either side of the temple were my favourite spots to achieve inner peace. The eyes of the goddess Saraswathi seemed to emanate compassion and love that felt like the fuzzy safe hug of a mother. (<b>Chapter 19</b>)</li><li style="text-align: justify;"><b>OASIS</b> - Annual BITS Cultural Fest - meant 5 days of staying outside the hostel without worrying about the curfew at girls’ hostel. Of course, <a href="https://medium.com/@sibeshkar/the-story-behind-bits-pilanis-girls-hostel-curfew-removal-f1cfbf0873de" target="_blank">the current generation would not know what that curfew meant as it has been removed</a>. (<b>Chapter 15</b>)</li></ul><div><div style="text-align: justify;">I have just one disappointment as I was reading Chapter 15, which is, the club that I was part of when I was a student at BITS, Creative Activities Club (CrAC), which now has grown to the size of a department did not find a mention when Harshita was listing the various clubs & departments that functioned efficiently during the cultural fest of OASIS. Of course, we all were busy and engaged with our own personal groups and clubs that missing to name a couple of them is bound to happen. Yet, having donned the role of Joint. Sec and Secretary of this club for 2 consecutive terms, my attachment to this club made me feel sad when I did not find it in the list. We had various creative competitions in the Sky Lawns & Pappu’s chai was our staple drink during our college fests. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Having talked so much about the book, my personal BITSian memory, I do not want to leave out speaking about the illustrations. I have loved <a href="https://2flatbrush.com/shop/" target="_blank">Girija’s artwork</a> from my BITSian days and actively follow her art journey on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/2flatbrush/" target="_blank">2Flatbrush</a>. My most favourite illustration in this book is for the <b>Chapter 4</b>, the letter D and of course the cover design. The common reason for liking these two is the Clock Tower, the iconic symbol of BITS, Pilani. The letter D also had the main entrance gate of our campus and the two convocation caps to indicate the unique dual degree programme, of which I am one of the beneficiaries.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">BITS has been a significant piece of our lives to make a huge impact in the way we think, act, and speak. Our way of looking at problems were always as challenges that we would work to overcome, and this is what has helped many BITSians navigate change without too much of a resistance or hassle. We are ever ready to take on any challenge life has for us with a fighting attitude, and we almost always overcome the challenge with grace and success.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I mean, I would love to go on, but then this would not remain a book review of BITS & pieces then and turn into a memoire of my memories from my BITSian days. Every chapter I read, brought back memories that were personal to me, some that were overlapping with Harshita’s narration. Harshita’s narrative style captures the essence & spirit of the Pilani Campus of BITS, which is now an Institute of Eminence. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">For every BITSian alumni, this book & its narrative style would surely bring back memories and associated emotions in their fullest glory. For the current BITSian students, especially in Pilani campus, this book will serve as a comparison point to explore areas within the campus to see what has changed from the late 90s to current day. For future aspiring BITSians, I think this book will serve as a motivation to want to get to experience the magic of BITS that every BITSian will proudly vouch to and get a sneak-peek into the much talked about exclusive BITSian vocabulary. The illustrations are a true representation of everything that the words in the book talk about and close to the reality of what it used to be on campus in the late 90s and early 2Ks. You can buy <a href="https://www.amazon.in/gp/product/B0BGGYGHKT/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i1" target="_blank">this book of her’s, <b>BITS and pieces</b>, on Amazon</a>. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Harshita Nanda has also authored another book, <a href="https://www.amazon.in/gp/product/B09FGWS4MZ/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i2" target="_blank"><b>Xanadu</b></a>, which is also a title available on Amazon. Her work is also one of the featured works in the COVID-19 Anthology titled <b><a href="https://www.amazon.in/gp/product/B08BJ7CB3Q/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0" target="_blank">Life During COVID-19</a></b> by Antara Pandit. As a bibliophile she also shares a lot of book reviews on her <b><a href="https://undecidedindubai.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">personal blog</a></b>, which you could use to update your <b>To be Read</b> list, if you have one!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I am participating in <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" target="_blank">Blogchatter’s</a> <b><a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/blogchatters-reading-challenge-tbr-challenge-2023" target="_blank">#TBRChallenge 2023</a></b>. This post is part of that as well, in line with this month’s theme “<b>My collection of books</b>” and <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" target="_blank">Blogchatter's</a> <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/book-review-program-from-blogchatter" target="_blank"><b>#BookReview programme</b></a>.</div></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>Aarthi Prabhakaranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09787880604451082866noreply@blogger.com2Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-15.227553636178845 45.114468400000007 41.392914036178844 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-86541661419807954242023-03-20T18:16:00.004+00:002023-03-31T12:48:17.895+01:00My first (collaborative) book – Journey so far and the path ahead<p style="text-align: justify;">In the last 5 years, I have self-published couple of books exclusively for my family circle and an <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/free-rein-to-thoughts-by-aarthi-prabhakaran" target="_blank"><b>e-book</b> on Blogchatter</a>. Yet the possibility of working on a book for a global audience, and with a publishing house, from the scratch is always a first-time experience. Guess this is the novelty that keeps authors (and budding ones) to continue working on books and articles. Having engaged readers, like you, is always a pleasure, as it helps in improving my skills as a writer. </p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt1Gd_OFKROB46h0MFwu_mgsGq6p_b3taKRMkdOAf3w_Wl2OTHlelvyDGIUqcJERKtKiuMOqEVhauXjMR9JLizhx567fBDbj5CRgmecV_cyuQgrv7ysXsjEzEolf7IbW1zmlUj9NHTfEZYZbJrc_63dk04qL7kpbFCOV-xKt-h9KxVsfBPoA/s1080/WhatsApp%20DP_1.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img alt="Raising Children in a Changing World" border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt1Gd_OFKROB46h0MFwu_mgsGq6p_b3taKRMkdOAf3w_Wl2OTHlelvyDGIUqcJERKtKiuMOqEVhauXjMR9JLizhx567fBDbj5CRgmecV_cyuQgrv7ysXsjEzEolf7IbW1zmlUj9NHTfEZYZbJrc_63dk04qL7kpbFCOV-xKt-h9KxVsfBPoA/w400-h400/WhatsApp%20DP_1.png" title="Raising Children in a Changing World - Collaborative Parenting Book" width="400" /></a></div>I remember when I first saw the email from <a href="https://www.letsauthor.com/" target="_blank"><b>Let’s Author</b></a> in July 2022 requesting me to get in touch with them, to get onboarded as an author for a parenting book titled <b>How to Parent in a Crazy World</b>. I thought that the email was a phishing email.<p></p><p style="text-align: justify;">So the first step was to search for <b><a href="https://www.letsauthor.com/" target="_blank">Let’s Author</a></b> online, and to my surprise, I saw my college senior’s post on social media where she was backing an author for the book <b><a href="https://payment.letsauthor.com/order?book=One-for-the-Road" target="_blank">One for the Road</a></b>. I still went ahead and ignored this email for almost a month or more. Suddenly in September 2022, I find the same message from Let’s Author on my LinkedIn messaging Inbox. This time I decided to engage with them. Given my personal & professional commitments, I let them know that until end of October 2022 there was no way I could spare time for this opportunity. Having said that, I wanted to, at the very least, have a conversation to understand what their proposal was. So, we decided to get on a call by end of September 2022 and from that point there has been no looking back. </p><p></p><div style="text-align: justify;">In December 2022, crowdfunding went live for this book. With no cohesion in the team, each of the initial collaborating authors spread the word of our book in our network, but the combined push was lacking and hence the crowdfunding did not take off, despite the immense value of the book. I was a bit disappointed. I decided to find out more about CEO of Let’s Author & the company, on LinkedIn, only to find that she was an alumni from my alma mater, <b>BITS Pilani</b>. Now the urge to connect with her was even stronger, when we were informed that the Lead Author had dropped off the project for personal reasons, and our book co-ordinator was also leaving Let’s Author.</div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;">The crowdfunding was supposed to close by 15th Jan 2023. I was told that if the pre-orders did not reach the target of 500, then this project will be scrapped. The pre-orders were the way to fund for the publishing of the book as well as see how well the book and its concept was received by the readers, a kind of a dip-stick survey of the public interest. The team that remained came together and got that extended, given that the lead author and book co-ordinator left us abruptly. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Without any delay, I decided to bell the cat and sent an email to the entire team of remaining collaborating authors with a copy to Let’s Author asking for clarification on the status of this project along with highlighting the lapse in communication and cohesion within the team and coordination between the author team and <a href="https://www.letsauthor.com/" target="_blank">Let’s Author</a> publishing & marketing team. This paved the way for many changes to come including:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li style="text-align: justify;">A change in title of the book – <b><a href="https://payment.letsauthor.com/order?book=How-to-Parent-in-A-Crazy-World" target="_blank">Raising Children in a Changing World</a></b></li><li style="text-align: justify;">Moving into the Lead Author role for this new title, along with Jayne Ruff.</li><li style="text-align: justify;">While Jayne reworked on the concept of the book, by bringing clarity to its USP, we all brainstormed for additional chapters based on which we could source for collaborating authors & I handle the programme management aspects of the book.</li><li style="text-align: justify;">From the team of 5 who were remaining from the original project for which we came together, today we are a team of <a href="https://payment.letsauthor.com/order?book=How-to-Parent-in-A-Crazy-World" target="_blank"><b>12 collaborating authors</b></a>, with each of them contributing one chapter to the book.</li></ul><p></p><div><div style="text-align: justify;">You can read about each of us and the chapter blurbs to know the value that we all are trying to bring to you through our book that has our parenting life stories on the <a href="https://payment.letsauthor.com/order?book=How-to-Parent-in-A-Crazy-World" target="_blank"><b>crowdfunding page</b></a>. The chapter blurbs can be found under the <b>Content</b> tab. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>What is the value that we are striving to bring to you through our effort?</b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Most parenting books available today are functional guides. Not a single one discusses how to become reflexive parents ourselves, attuned to our times. This is an emotional support book for parents raising kids in times of change and uncertainty. In an evolving world that’s fast-paced, unpredictable, ambiguous, and often different to our experienced childhoods, for better or worse. It’s a collection of honest and unfiltered stories from a group of international parents who hope that through openly sharing the highs and lows of their parenting journeys, they can offer reassurance, guidance, and friendship to others as they navigate theirs.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>How do we plan on bringing this to you through our book?</b></div></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li style="text-align: justify;">Sharing real-life, relatable stories about the different changes and choices facing parents today</li><li style="text-align: justify;">Offer a global perspective on parenting in a complex and ever-changing world.</li><li style="text-align: justify;">Provide practical advice based on personal experience on adapting and responding to the changes within and around us.</li><li style="text-align: justify;">Its honesty and diversity affirm that there is no one way of parenting but many.</li></ul><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>Estimated Date of Publication/Book Launch</b>: 30th October 2023</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Here is a list of chapter titles you will see in the book:</div></div></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li style="text-align: justify;">Chapter 1: Parenting Ourselves Before We Parent Our Children</li><li style="text-align: justify;">Chapter 2: Raising Happy Kids and Balancing a Meaningful Career</li><li style="text-align: justify;">Chapter 3: Being a 'Woke' Amma</li><li style="text-align: justify;">Chapter 4: Raising Gender Sensitive Kids </li><li style="text-align: justify;">Chapter 5: Raising Kids in a Virtual World </li><li style="text-align: justify;">Chapter 6: Parenting and Mental Health </li><li style="text-align: justify;">Chapter 7: Parenting and Learning from My Special Needs Son </li><li style="text-align: justify;">Chapter 8: Raising My Children While Re-Parenting Myself </li><li style="text-align: justify;">Chapter 9: Raising Kids in A World Of Distraction And High Demand </li><li style="text-align: justify;">Chapter 10: Raising a Kid as a Single Parent </li><li style="text-align: justify;">Chapter 11: Supporting our Children through their ‘Coming Out’ Journey</li><li style="text-align: justify;">Chapter 12: Empowering from Birth</li></ul><div><div style="text-align: justify;">To read the chapter blurbs visit - <a href="https://payment.letsauthor.com/order?book=How-to-Parent-in-A-Crazy-World">https://payment.letsauthor.com/order?book=How-to-Parent-in-A-Crazy-World</a>, click on <b>Content</b> tab, and the chapter title that you would like to glimpse. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And if you are happy with what you are reading and would like to own a copy and support us in getting the book published, you can pre-order your copy as well by clicking on the <b>Order Now</b> button on the right panel. You can also see the names of the people who are backing us by placing the pre-orders under the <b>Backers</b> tab.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">While the aspiration to write books has been a constant, this is the first time I am working with a team and I am enjoying this process of collaborative building of a book from it concept to the end product. Do visit book page and leave a comment here about what you think about our project. And do grab your copy by pre-ordering the same to learn from lived experiences of our parenting journeys to support you in yours. Do look us up on our socials and we will be happy to strike up a conversation on parenting challenges to arrive at better solutions to overcome /address them. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The team is currently working on the individual chapters for the manuscript to be developed and sent to the publishing team in a couple of months to be on track for an October 2023 launch. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">This blog is part of <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" target="_blank">Blogchatter’s</a>:</div></div></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/guidelines-for-the-best-causeachatter-experience" target="_blank">#CauseAChatter challenge</a>, as this is one of the ways by which I am leaving behind my responsible #DigialFootprints as well as working together with the team for the benefit of the larger collective, not just the team benefiting by publishing, but carefully bringing authors and their respective parenting stories for the rest of the world to also benefit from their journeys and lessons.</li><li style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/blogchatters-reading-challenge-tbr-challenge-2023" target="_blank">#TBRChallenge</a> (#BookChatter) for the year 2023. Of course I am going to read my own book while building the manuscript as well as after. </li></ul><div><div style="text-align: justify;">I also hope to see my book on the <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/book-review-program-from-blogchatter" target="_blank">Blogchatter’s book review programme</a>, but that is still a long time away as the book launch is only in October 2023. </div></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>Aarthi Prabhakaranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09787880604451082866noreply@blogger.com0Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-15.227553636178845 45.114468400000007 41.392914036178844 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-81534571081276530402022-12-31T12:09:00.010+00:002023-01-02T13:47:41.082+00:002022 - The Year That Went By<p style="text-align: justify;">As we are gearing up to welcome 2023, many of us are eagerly making resolutions for the year that is yet to come, while some are looking back at the year that has gone by. As always, I decided to do the latter and this time, like in <a href="https://bhaarthi.blogspot.com/2019/12/saying-goodbye-to-2019_31.html" target="_blank"><b>2019</b></a>, <a href="https://www.momspresso.com/parenting/parenting-with-pride/story/vichar-1609137212341" target="_blank"><b>2020</b></a>, & <a href="https://www.momspresso.com/parenting/parenting-with-pride/story/adieu-2021-welcome-2022-qfz2cwb7u81q" target="_blank"><b>2021</b></a> (images below), I decided to record it here for me to be able to revisit it anytime in the future! 😃</p>
<table><tbody><tr><td><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYJ9iGECF8RD4riE18NTzx6it5ym6IF-2onGSuj1NIleaCptI1DCgR4z6O5LYttJhmM8vWESYbP3UomX2X1tCQK26k5Nz_bHahoeWH3AXFqvg92_akxekfHIy56iHmoa5PUr8XQ9exvm7__iNJveud0j-9sRty3lJcG1ihj9mWIul6hb5LnQ/s466/Looking%20back%20on%202021.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="466" data-original-width="466" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYJ9iGECF8RD4riE18NTzx6it5ym6IF-2onGSuj1NIleaCptI1DCgR4z6O5LYttJhmM8vWESYbP3UomX2X1tCQK26k5Nz_bHahoeWH3AXFqvg92_akxekfHIy56iHmoa5PUr8XQ9exvm7__iNJveud0j-9sRty3lJcG1ihj9mWIul6hb5LnQ/s320/Looking%20back%20on%202021.jpg" width="320" /></a></div></td><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbPVMniTp4sw1dS0Bw2rDupYElm2FO_nY2npWnhDBm7OFfWxFfx2Qvlh0Yw5WvxUVB2e2JE4wwBbGncKEBisl4O0k90UM_qJ-gm-akH4GUi8bkRxsaQIXcfToKU0KxOzxcR6FOD1fQnPzY134YO6uwHOrrT3cVQJq3KQC5jbp2u8N_yYFbrQ/s466/Looking%20back%20on%202020.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="466" data-original-width="466" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbPVMniTp4sw1dS0Bw2rDupYElm2FO_nY2npWnhDBm7OFfWxFfx2Qvlh0Yw5WvxUVB2e2JE4wwBbGncKEBisl4O0k90UM_qJ-gm-akH4GUi8bkRxsaQIXcfToKU0KxOzxcR6FOD1fQnPzY134YO6uwHOrrT3cVQJq3KQC5jbp2u8N_yYFbrQ/s320/Looking%20back%20on%202020.jpg" width="320" /></a></td>
<td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYJ9iGECF8RD4riE18NTzx6it5ym6IF-2onGSuj1NIleaCptI1DCgR4z6O5LYttJhmM8vWESYbP3UomX2X1tCQK26k5Nz_bHahoeWH3AXFqvg92_akxekfHIy56iHmoa5PUr8XQ9exvm7__iNJveud0j-9sRty3lJcG1ihj9mWIul6hb5LnQ/s466/Looking%20back%20on%202021.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: left;"><br /></a></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="text-align: justify;">We welcomed the year 2022 with my daughter making a premonition kind of statement, ‘Amma the coming year is 2022. 22 is 2 times 11. I just hope the year does not end up being 2 times the year 2011. Fingers crossed.’</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">My first reaction was horror because 2011 was one of the toughest until 2022 came to be. 😊That was the year when I was pregnant with my second-born son, dealing with the palliative care for my Father-in-law (FIL) in his final stages of cancer, playing the host for my sister-in-law during her laparoscopic surgery & recovery, Grihapravesam (calling it house warming kind of simplifies the concept as well the work involved in organising it), passing of my FIL, birth of my son, my post-partum, a beginning of the undoing of a marital relationship of a close family member, being a witness when the family was grieving that loss of its head (my FIL), moving into our new owned home. Did you also take a deep breath like I did when I finished typing this recap? </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj2em5b93XXyKNmUXPvZlZe-jJbaWVznK28CzbCysUu56qVEWGcJVEQvWbVosiTISnKoLLriilXWhV5-ZR9Qp0dYEMQqid-tB2PmzmkWSsgYL-Prl_6ofz29s4F5XZM1x0kN9pEvJ3UMAB0goaVbT5UQGGVuz6G2wxkxgbh0UV4aKzWrHA-g/s4167/iar_badge_circle_brand_colours.png" style="clear: right; display: inline; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img alt="#IamRemarkable" border="0" data-original-height="4167" data-original-width="4167" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj2em5b93XXyKNmUXPvZlZe-jJbaWVznK28CzbCysUu56qVEWGcJVEQvWbVosiTISnKoLLriilXWhV5-ZR9Qp0dYEMQqid-tB2PmzmkWSsgYL-Prl_6ofz29s4F5XZM1x0kN9pEvJ3UMAB0goaVbT5UQGGVuz6G2wxkxgbh0UV4aKzWrHA-g/w200-h200/iar_badge_circle_brand_colours.png" title="#IamRemarkable Trained Facilitator" width="200" /></a><div style="text-align: justify;">Now to a rundown of the year 2022… It began with our family being affected with COVID in Jan 2022, when India was having its third wave, including my pregnant sibling who did an international travel in the hope to be with family to handle her pregnancy and delivery in India rather than staying in a foreign country, all by herself (with just her spouse for support). I joined <a href="https://lurnable.com/" target="_blank"><b>Lurnable</b></a> (a digital EdTech firm) as Operations Manager. I became a facilitator of the programme <a href="https://iamremarkable.withgoogle.com/" target="_blank"><b>#IamRemarkable</b></a> (a Google Initiative) and have also conducted two workshops this year. We had a scare in April for a really pre-mature labour that might have been critical for the child for sure, and to the mother (mentally and emotionally). We had a few hospitalisations for my Mom, Sister & her Spouse, and my Aunt. Health-related issues that come and go for our ageing parents. Loss of lives – 2 within the family and one a child (less than 15 yrs old) who was a close buddy of my son in our gated community, a beautiful soul who always stood up against playground bullies (for my son) and had deep conversations on the concepts of care, right & wrong, integrity and more. Of course, my niece was an addition to the family as a healthy child who decided to stay full term after the initial scare, sharing the same star sign as my son. They both bonded instantly and every time they are together, the mutual love and adoration is a pleasure to watch. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/user/aarthiprabhakaran2" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="300" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1WeV4kK4uNO7dRUMyL7EmFERhclWvcxvCGxAnflTIB1Vq0iHaf7IooQaqp0npjnPspzpglILz3O3q-9b5NgisNESU0vbCsr0SD4OX9yUHnFCPUGWnNL73tlAlYNvlgVCVKQO32f61khXqPSXhjDZHohFjrZn9sisS-FGCSlaP7E8Vxyuw1g/w200-h200/1660222459_ebookcarnival.png" width="200" /></a></div><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I became a homeowner. I wrote my first semester exams for my M.Sc Counselling Psychology (2 year Masters course) that I am currently pursuing. I published an <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/free-rein-to-thoughts-by-aarthi-prabhakaran" target="_blank"><b>e-book</b></a> on <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" target="_blank">Blogchatter</a> and have been roped in on another authoring project by <a href="https://www.letsauthor.com/" target="_blank">Let’s Author</a> to collaborate with a few more authors for the book ‘<a href="https://payment.letsauthor.com/order?book=How-to-Parent-in-A-Crazy-World" target="_blank"><b>How to Parent in a Crazy World</b> – Life Lessons on New Age Parenting</a>’ to be published sometime next year (<b>Click the <a href="https://payment.letsauthor.com/order?book=How-to-Parent-in-A-Crazy-World" target="_blank">link</a> to pre-order the book</b>). Amidst all this, we transitioned from a pandemic lifestyle to a post-pandemic new normal (whatever that means)… and the craziness has not ended yet. </div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">And in all this, I also managed to hold on to my reading. Thanks to Blogchatter’s <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/blogchatters-reading-challenge-tbr-challenge-2022" target="_blank"><b>TBR Challenge</b></a>, this year I tracked the books that I read (which probably only covers 50% of what I read). Another big sigh…</div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC14E1WMV8bJ0h7Ha3q5diUVEN_1__zoBzD1ahfytBjF-ZmWd0AL-pzD9tsbs7gUuUatonNsS-m9ITycexiU54esqmFiJiB2MqN0Uro7LC7jf6eBQwtgBi-QIQhLCQaMEJpfC-1sINuEhstv-amopGKsr6EhSHtvy1ZM7_8WtwjVXA1AZLDQ/s1391/Books%20read%20-%20TBR%20Challenge.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" data-original-height="941" data-original-width="1391" height="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC14E1WMV8bJ0h7Ha3q5diUVEN_1__zoBzD1ahfytBjF-ZmWd0AL-pzD9tsbs7gUuUatonNsS-m9ITycexiU54esqmFiJiB2MqN0Uro7LC7jf6eBQwtgBi-QIQhLCQaMEJpfC-1sINuEhstv-amopGKsr6EhSHtvy1ZM7_8WtwjVXA1AZLDQ/w400-h270/Books%20read%20-%20TBR%20Challenge.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>While this year probably looked twice the challenge of the year 2011, it has been a mixed bag, which can be said about almost any year that comes and goes. I resonate very strongly with the Yin-Yang symbolism, a philosophical concept that describes opposite but interconnected forces. While the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yin_and_yang" target="_blank">literature on Yin-Yang philosophies & interpretations</a> is available in abundance, my simplified explanation for this is in the lines of the dialogue from <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aalavandhan" target="_blank">Alavandhan Movie</a> ‘Kadavul Paadhi Mirugam Paadhi kalandhu seidha kalavai naan’ (crudely translated – I am the perfect mix of God & Animal/Devil). The deeper meaning that I infer is that there is no absolute good or absolute bad in this world. There is a little bit of good in bad and a little bit of bad in good and these two exist in perfect balance for the whole to be complete. Here the good and bad can be represented in black or white colour, and the symbolism stays intact.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">In this exercise of looking back at the year gone by, which I have been doing since 2019, I have come to understand that every year brings with it a mixed bag of experiences – a few successes, a few misses/loses, loads of learnings from both to take away for the years to come, wonderful experiences that enrich our life by becoming stories & narratives to tell and take forward. I am filled with gratitude and pride. Gratitude for the learnings and achievements, pride at surviving the year. I think I am going to hold on to this practice of looking back at the year that has gone by just so that I practice self-love and self-appreciation which in turn positively impacts self-image and self-confidence by increasing self-awareness. What better way to enrich our mental wellness than this. 😊</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I am not the type to make resolutions, but I guess the practice of looking back at the year that has passed, that I began in 2019, is a resolution that happened on its own accord and will probably stay for years to come. Will be happy to hear your retrospective of 2022 in the “comment” section.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Wishing you all a very happy new year 2023 to come, and along with it a lot of personal/professional growth & development also. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;">This post also wraps up the <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/blogchatters-reading-challenge-tbr-challenge-2022" target="_blank">#TBRChallenge</a> by Blogchatter for the year 2022. I'm participating in the <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/blogchatters-reading-challenge-tbr-challenge-2022" target="_blank">#TBRChallenge by Blogchatter</a></div></div>Aarthi Bharathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13590058855322273744noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-5552838932851821202022-06-26T13:56:00.001+01:002022-06-26T13:56:24.307+01:00A Potpourri of Drabble by Harshita Nanda<p style="text-align: justify;">I was hearing the word Drabble for the first time. I am a fan of the way <b><a href="http://undecidedindubai.wordpress.com" target="_blank">Harshita</a></b> spins her stories, full of emotions, twists and turns, and social messages. It was a no brainer that this would be on my reading list. I had the time of my life reading through the 100 drabbles that are part of her book aptly named <b><a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/a-potpourri-of-drabble-by-harshita-nanda" target="_blank">A Potpourri of Drabble</a></b>. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">This collection of drabble brings with it a potpourri of stories filled with social message, highlighting the social conundrum, hypocrisy, irony, manipulation, love in all its form and more. In 100 words she spins a beautiful picture not just about the characters, but also their background, emotions, the event that is unfolding and, in some cases, even the back story. While the stories themselves are complete, it also leaves you wanting to read more about the incidents of the characters who appear in the drabble. </p><p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: justify;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRJeOAijdsjooKpM5YL6JaskpdX9HYI7_InMfxwUWKtorUVLqMS9tdZZm2ls9qBpmvZviF_qQmsCr10rd7nIouRjMH_TOlSZVmTAc4cASOdbzp5ikdmSjzgko-GSVqHcs469boJ_fegsRpngGF3C1HLfUYdulob3XUemKVKoAr_vJuKy6FWQ/s1905/Harshitha%20Nanda%20ebook%20Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1905" data-original-width="1283" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRJeOAijdsjooKpM5YL6JaskpdX9HYI7_InMfxwUWKtorUVLqMS9tdZZm2ls9qBpmvZviF_qQmsCr10rd7nIouRjMH_TOlSZVmTAc4cASOdbzp5ikdmSjzgko-GSVqHcs469boJ_fegsRpngGF3C1HLfUYdulob3XUemKVKoAr_vJuKy6FWQ/w432-h640/Harshitha%20Nanda%20ebook%20Cover.jpg" width="432" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Cover page of <b><a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/a-potpourri-of-drabble-by-harshita-nanda" target="_blank">A Potpourri of Drabble</a></b> by Harshita Nanda</span></td></tr></tbody></table></p><div style="text-align: justify;">The story titled <b>Kitchen</b> was most gut wrenching and highlights one of the most sinister issues in many homes, yet the least discussed societal evil. While awareness is quite high about what constitutes domestic violence many do not understand how to deal with the issue when it unfolds right up close to them – in their neighbourhood, friends’ homes, within family relations or even inside one’s own home. Understanding the various layers and kinds of domestic abuse/violence and knowing how to address them for self and others is a high time necessity. With just 100 words, Harshita not only spun the story, she also was able to express the trauma that Sheela endured due this societal evil. </div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;">The closest to my heart is <b>The Hidden Power</b>. It highlights the power of Humanity above all. If that is alive, then there is a meaning to our lives on this planet. </p><p style="text-align: justify;"><b>The Red Nail Polish</b> was another one of my favourites, that brought out the importance of guilt free self-indulgence and the humaneness of inclusivity in extending the same courtesy to those who make our lives easier every day. </p><p style="text-align: justify;"><b>The Messy Room</b> brought out the ugly facet of our lives that differentiates based on social status. It was soul stirring to read this reality that is still very much existent even in today’s times. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">In <b>Malini</b> from <b>Who Is Saner?</b>, I saw a bit of myself. To know what I mean, do read this story and then my blog on My Volunteering Journey.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">I just could not help but smile when I read <b>A Bowl Full of Gulab Jamuns</b>, remembering my younger days when I used to feel similar urge when I saw a Boondhi Laddoo. Now I would like to think I have a little more control or at least learnt to regulate that urge.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">The last few stories that were inspired from the happenings of the 2 years of pandemic life were hard to ignore. The most soul ripping one was <b>Time was Running out</b>. How many families went through similar realities during those two years of lockdown lifestyle enduring hardships that we never thought could be possible. Many lives lost, affected, and damaged beyond repair. A time when many of us felt trapped and stifled inside our homes yet itched to do something to lessen these traumatic experiences of complete strangers, through our network, writing, or any other means. Glimpses of humanitarian efforts gave us hope that the fire of humanity is still burning.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Do download Harshita Nanda's <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/a-potpourri-of-drabble-by-harshita-nanda" target="_blank"><b>A Potpourri of Drabble</b></a>, published as part of the Blogchatter's Ebook carnival at - <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/a-potpourri-of-drabble-by-harshita-nanda">https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/a-potpourri-of-drabble-by-harshita-nanda</a> and give it a read. You might find your own favourites and relate to a few stories as your own too. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">You can also download my book - <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/free-rein-to-thoughts-by-aarthi-prabhakaran" target="_blank"><b>Free Rein to Thoughts</b></a> – a collection of quotes & shorts highlighting the colours and patterns of life at - <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/free-rein-to-thoughts-by-aarthi-prabhakaran">https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/free-rein-to-thoughts-by-aarthi-prabhakaran</a></p><p style="text-align: justify;">This blog is part of the <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/ebook-library" target="_blank">#BlogchatterEbook</a> carnival & <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/blogchatters-reading-challenge-tbr-challenge-2022" target="_blank">#TBRChallenge</a></p>Aarthi Prabhakaranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09787880604451082866noreply@blogger.com0Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-15.227553636178845 45.114468400000007 41.392914036178844 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-76760858073453822482022-06-17T19:03:00.002+01:002022-06-26T13:56:57.992+01:00Memories of my Father by Jayanthi K Manikandan<p style="text-align: justify;">The bond of a father daughter bond is such a beautiful bond of understanding, protection, hero worship and more, that we all have heard, read, and seen in multiple movies in almost every language. This is a universal affection and bond that brings a warm feeling within us that almost always results in a spontaneous 'Awwwww' from our mouths. If our father was close by, then an unconscious hug, or at least a physical touch is inevitable in those instances. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Jayanthi K Manikandan’s <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/memories-of-my-father-by-jayanthi-manikandan" target="_blank"><b>Memories of my Father</b></a> is a loving memoire that gives us glimpses of this beautiful bonding between a father and daughter (in addition to insights about her father itself), during her growing up years, as well as her adulthood, the various phases that this relationship goes through and the myriad of changes that happen as the child grows and starts having a mind of her own.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3yv5Xuyg8-Ih9b-kwAWvtvKNYxGPAMDi8oxF8hAICyKTiF-puBkylKjM6NTgkX0ZnlMqxRujxn8Z5HSLAztGTHJ18nUrA43qZePZTBtqghknlo-hLIZmzAQ1ArY8tUBHS3Y1dMhA3kMSqW7I4hhKnZcPyLrS3A3ppDXS8YFBxV1mR0dTAzg/s857/Jayanthi%20ebook%20Cover.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="857" data-original-width="611" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3yv5Xuyg8-Ih9b-kwAWvtvKNYxGPAMDi8oxF8hAICyKTiF-puBkylKjM6NTgkX0ZnlMqxRujxn8Z5HSLAztGTHJ18nUrA43qZePZTBtqghknlo-hLIZmzAQ1ArY8tUBHS3Y1dMhA3kMSqW7I4hhKnZcPyLrS3A3ppDXS8YFBxV1mR0dTAzg/w456-h640/Jayanthi%20ebook%20Cover.jpg" width="456" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Cover Page of <b><a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/memories-of-my-father-by-jayanthi-manikandan" target="_blank">Memories of my Father</a></b> by Jayanthi K Manikandan</span></td></tr></tbody></table><br />As I was reading through the memoire, I saw a lot of similarities in the life of the author and mine that I could relate to, specifically with respect to the changes that come due to the father’s job, the family structure, and the culture in which she and her father have grown up and more. Through every chapter about her father, I was able to see the admiration that the little girl had for her father, the hero worship that is such a normal part of a girl child's image about her father. Girls are blamed for expecting their father (a version of him at least) in their spouses. This is true to a large extent because they feel well protected and cared for within the loving embrace of their father. This protective shield of care, pride, and trust in them and their abilities is what women seek in their life partner, but many a times are left earning for it. <p></p><p style="text-align: justify;">I was thrilled to read the name of the place called Virudhunagar, a place that is as much a part of me as Chennai, Lalapet, Lyon, Groton, Harrow, and Alexandria are. Virudhunagar is a small town to the south of Madurai. Though a business town, not many people are even aware of its existence. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">As the chapters move on, I saw the happenings that was common in almost every home, in the state of Tamilnadu. Culturally, the entire state wasn’t so different in what each family wanted for their children and their wellbeing, and how they implemented and executed these visions and ambitions by supporting, guiding, nudging, and paving the way for their children. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">In Jayanthi, I saw every child who had multiple dreams during their growing up phase that came nothing close to the path they chose for themselves (or in many cases their families chose on their behalf) with respect to their studies and career. I saw bits and pieces of my grandfather, my father, father-in-law, and every other father figure I have seen while growing up, in the various habits, incidents and events that Jayanthi narrates. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Reading the <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/memories-of-my-father-by-jayanthi-manikandan" target="_blank"><b>Memories of my Father</b></a> was mixed bag feeling for me, especially considering the formal relationship that I had with my late father. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">One small thing that bothered me while reading the book for the formatting of text, which probably is an occupational hazard as a documentalist & facilitator, writing and reviewing multiple documents and presentations as part of my job role. In many sections I found myself automatically trying to place the cursor and remove the additional line spacing or the indent that was a bit out of place. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">You can download Jayanthi K Manikandan's <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/memories-of-my-father-by-jayanthi-manikandan" target="_blank"><b>Memories of my Father</b></a>, published as part of the Blogchatter's Ebook carnival at - https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/memories-of-my-father-by-jayanthi-manikandan</p><p style="text-align: justify;">My book - <b><a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/free-rein-to-thoughts-by-aarthi-prabhakaran" target="_blank">Free Rein to Thoughts</a> </b>- is also part of this Ebook carnival. </p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;">This blog is part of the </span><a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/ebook-library" style="text-align: left;" target="_blank">#BlogchatterEbook</a><span style="text-align: left;"> carnival & </span><a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/blogchatters-reading-challenge-tbr-challenge-2022" style="text-align: left;" target="_blank">#TBRChallenge</a></p>Aarthi Prabhakaranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09787880604451082866noreply@blogger.com4Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-15.227553636178845 45.114468400000007 41.392914036178844 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-83018335796880295882022-06-16T18:31:00.004+01:002022-06-26T13:57:33.061+01:00Humpty Dumpty's 10 Hats by Tomichan Matheikal<p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">The title of the book and the cover page were what intrigued me a lot to start reading the book of short stories. Humpty dumpty is a nursery rhyme character that I always felt bad for, as a child. Even today, when I hear (or see) the rhyme, it makes me wonder why the illustration of Humpty Dumpty was egg like? This visual representation painted by the rhyme gives a very gory image of the person – Humpty Dumpty - as the progresses. The phrase 10 Hats… though Humpty Dumpty also wore a hat in the illustrations, this brought the image of the Mad Hatter and the White Rabbit, from Alice in Wonderland – probably the result of the cover image where a woman is walking towards a grand archway that looked like a gateway into another world…. Rightly so. </p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZUFrRBob8q2_wY9p2aXDKpXncn1ijYNhvEuWwKuu7tPyQm_izrHC2Xg_HrME-4_kgCp0F_2CILn8Yu6HewGk8K7d-usfIR14NkV5spCkdV56g5t9NVxt1D4tFElrFbr48U-UffigsIj3X1zHPki5FJQGsplMDp3XL5cJpHHn5jD4EYZ3iqA/s2250/Tomichan%20Matheikal%20ebook%20Cover.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2250" data-original-width="1410" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZUFrRBob8q2_wY9p2aXDKpXncn1ijYNhvEuWwKuu7tPyQm_izrHC2Xg_HrME-4_kgCp0F_2CILn8Yu6HewGk8K7d-usfIR14NkV5spCkdV56g5t9NVxt1D4tFElrFbr48U-UffigsIj3X1zHPki5FJQGsplMDp3XL5cJpHHn5jD4EYZ3iqA/w402-h640/Tomichan%20Matheikal%20ebook%20Cover.jpg" width="402" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Cover page of <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/humpty-dumptys-10-hats-by-tomichan-matheikal" target="_blank"><b>Humpty Dumpty's 10 Hats</b></a> by Tomichan Matheikal</span></td></tr></tbody></table><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">The 10 short stories transported me into a different world than my home, through its narration. It elicited a rainbow of emotions, feelings of fear, smile, laughter, awe, affection, love and more. While this was for the words that one reads, each story has layers to them highlighting the societal hypocrisy, duality, reality in each of the events that unfold. The people in the short stories feel like they were one among us, our family, friends, neighbours, conmen, godmen, and leaders whom we might know, and probably also met in our real life, who think like us, and sometimes we might probably also see a reflection of ourselves in one or more of the characters from these stories. Some we might accept while some we might be against. It was pleasure to read names that I have been used to hearing from my everyday life, experience the beauty (and eeriness of) locations that I have visited with family and friends during my school excursions and family vacations, all over again.</p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">My favourite story from the 10 short stories was <b>Phantoms on a Desert</b>. I loved the way in which it brought out the uncanny similarities of emotions, needs, and behaviours of two people who were poles apart even with respect to their gender (among other things), which highlights the stark reality of life, that underneath all those layers of exhibitionism, barriers & boundaries, wants & needs, likes & dislike, at our core, we all are one and the same, especially when we are at the safety and security needs level in Maslow’s theory of hierarchy. The other reason why I loved this short story was the coinage of the words Musanghies & Kirshangies. This is the first time I am hearing these words and the explanation for them had me in splits, pulling me completely out of the fear/horror that I was still experiencing after reading the first two stories (just before retiring for the night). </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">After a long while, I was motivated to read through a book, without wanting to break away from it for any reason. It was an absolute pleasure to read the narrative style of the fiction stories that brought out political, societal, and communal lack of standards, the mind and it’s complex working, the beautiful shades of people that we come across in our everyday life – good, bad, ugly and the myriad of other variations across these three. </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I would surely go back to these short stories more than once, and maybe it might also become a bedtime read that I would read with my children too whenever that happens (now that they are older and overlap time for bedtime reads have considerably reduced).</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">This e-book, <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/humpty-dumptys-10-hats-by-tomichan-matheikal" target="_blank"><b>Humpty Dumpty's 10 Hats</b></a>, has been published as part of the #BlogchatterEbook carnival 2022 and can be downloaded at - <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/humpty-dumptys-10-hats-by-tomichan-matheikal">https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/humpty-dumptys-10-hats-by-tomichan-matheikal</a> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">My book - <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/download/free-rein-to-thoughts-by-aarthi-prabhakaran" target="_blank"><b>Free Rein to Thoughts</b></a> - is also part of this Ebook carnival. </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="text-align: left;">This blog is part of the </span><a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/ebook-library" style="text-align: left;" target="_blank">#BlogchatterEbook</a><span style="text-align: left;"> carnival & </span><a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/blogchatters-reading-challenge-tbr-challenge-2022" style="text-align: left;" target="_blank">#TBRChallenge</a></p>Aarthi Prabhakaranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09787880604451082866noreply@blogger.com2Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-19.368851364386785 45.114468400000007 45.534211764386782 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-38359670655281256482022-03-30T04:41:00.004+01:002022-03-30T07:45:43.554+01:00Is your Family a Potato or a Banyan?<p style="text-align: justify;">In the past couple of
years, the pandemic lifestyle has removed the private space for adults to have
discussions that may become heated, especially when the discussions are about logistics of
planning family gatherings, vacations/trips, and functions. Living with each
other 24 x 7 with little or no possibility of stepping out of the home for
change of environment or company, kind of made us bicker at each other (even
heightening the ‘sibling discord’ moving it to a slightly unhealthy level of
displeasure) till, we finally realised that mixing a healthy dose of humour into
our everyday lives would help.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">There were two
incidents in the recent months that happened I would like to share with you and
hope that there is something you will also be able to take away from these
anecdotes for your life and your sanity. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">During one such
planning discussion that happened on a day when my first born decided to take an
off from regular school that resumed recently, I made a statement to move into
a different room so spare her the trauma of the two of us arguing. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;"></span></p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: justify;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi1v3e3ToUXinj3b0eBT4MQxcp5Y3iFJpZldXeE29odw9IOuh1OdfAmXEuhZ86wdfTrIn2tP095Xb5suOyY5NW60q7pAav6qCSeSqJFyp87egC8yGNKg0Ef3jBdd3LQitM85wgb7DJXCjzLc-DR6_B3P-fD_Xr0NAUOD3S4kUM-N9tBscO4g/s1280/Blog%20-%20Potato%20family_20220329202145.png" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="Illustration by my daughter M" border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi1v3e3ToUXinj3b0eBT4MQxcp5Y3iFJpZldXeE29odw9IOuh1OdfAmXEuhZ86wdfTrIn2tP095Xb5suOyY5NW60q7pAav6qCSeSqJFyp87egC8yGNKg0Ef3jBdd3LQitM85wgb7DJXCjzLc-DR6_B3P-fD_Xr0NAUOD3S4kUM-N9tBscO4g/w400-h225/Blog%20-%20Potato%20family_20220329202145.png" title="Artist Page on Insta @mizumika" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Illustration by @mizumika</span></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;"><div style="text-align: justify;">My first born (M)
remarked, ‘How strongly grounded our family is!’</div><o:p></o:p></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">My spouse (B) said,
‘Grounded and rounded like potato.’<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">‘No Appa, well
grounded and rooted like the banyan’<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">‘Potato is found under
the soil’ said B, and I chipped in, ‘it is tasty, starchy and hence can replace
the main staple food of our household, which was rice.’<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">B continued, ‘It also
is representative of what we as a race have become, <i>couch potatoes</i>,
enjoying stuff that keeps us constantly in a sitting posture. It can also
wither wildfires and storms, unlike a banyan.’<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">‘We talk so much about
how we are like potato but none of us here eat or like mashed potato.’ retorted
M.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">‘I love it’, in unison
chimed I and B, and I continued, ‘While we love potato, in almost all forms of
it, we also need to know that eating too much of it would make us feel stuffed
and result in farting’.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">M, ‘WOW! I am sure no
other family would have equated a family staying grounded and connected, to a
potato. I was thinking of a banyan tree, when I mentioned our family is strongly
grounded, with so many roots that it will not be disturbed or harmed in any
kind of storm. Only our family could think so off the charts and bring up a potato and in the context of our family deeply under the ground grounded... like at least 4-6 ft pit in the ground deep… like the other
day when Appa went out, and R absent mindedly kept calling out for him, adding to
our streak of breaking stereotypes as a family.’<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">Now B wanted to know
what we were talking about. So here is the second incident.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">A couple of weeks ago,
B stepped out on a weekend morning to run some errands that kept him out for a
while. My son (R) hates silence and being alone. He constantly needs company,
and his mouth will always be on speaking mode to the one who is sitting beside.
This constant conversation drains me out as I need my silence to rebound. My
spouse has mastered the art of responding without really listening and not
making it too obvious to anyone else but me. In my case, I wouldn’t blame him
for getting caught in the act of phasing out, it probably is me who catches it
almost immediately. :-D<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">So that day, B got
ready and before stepping out he told R that he will come for lunch at 2 p.m.
and that by then R was supposed to finish his classwork and homework from the
previous week that were still pending – result of the adjustment period of
going back to regular mode of school after 2+ yrs of online school. B left
saying bye to everyone personally. R was sitting at his desk upstairs in our
duplex home. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">For almost 5 minutes,
every few seconds, he kept calling out for his father ‘Appa, Appa,…’ <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">The first couple of
times I and M tried telling him that Appa had gone out and will be back only at
2 p.m. At one point we both could not stop our laughter at his cuteness, and he
felt that we were laughing at him. So, I called him down, gave him a bear hug
first and said, ‘We are not laughing at you chellam. We are admiring your
cuteness.’<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">This calmed him a bit.
I and M took turns explaining, ‘We also are laughing at how our family has
added one more aspect to the streak of breaking stereotypes as a family with
this. In most homes, the child almost always calls out to the mom, Amma, Amma,
but only in our home the sound we hear is for the father. And when you call out
for Appa you sound very cute.’<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">He joined us in our
laughter happily. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">A family that laughs
together produces enough endorphins that help in strengthening the relationship bonds, in addition to contributing towards personal wellness.
Even the most difficult conversations are made easy with humour. I really do
hope some day the stereotypes vanish from the face of earth because then there would be more families that embrace the concept of ignoring stereotypes and does only
what work for the family.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">This blog is part of </span><span lang="EN-GB"><a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/"><span lang="EN-IN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">Blogchatter’s</span></a></span><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;"> </span><span lang="EN-GB"><a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/what-causeachatter-looks-like-in-2022"><span lang="EN-IN" style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;">#CauseAChatter</span></a></span><span style="mso-ansi-language: EN-IN;"> challenge, #MentalHealth, #Discrimination.<o:p></o:p></span></p>Aarthi Prabhakaranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09787880604451082866noreply@blogger.com0Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-15.227553636178845 45.114468400000007 41.392914036178844 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-83427337137592269722022-02-23T17:38:00.000+00:002022-02-23T17:38:57.199+00:00'The Miracle is us… All of us..' Encanto – Movie Review<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj2SHaJ549ccSeHJ07P2ip-50wWuPGV3ifgYbZQIvqt7dXl3BBMnchSmIxBCA3q_XPw5MIcYONCABhyTvzqxEszRKRbce2sEYeKqGimCbIEGl-FpPH7zfSvta-2Nyv6-HG7S1p5y17Ucm7y4pDRhG9efbnoktX1YCJm5-CZjcqVYvoY18DGSg=s1622" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img alt="Source - Disney, Encanto - Google Images" border="0" data-original-height="1622" data-original-width="1621" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj2SHaJ549ccSeHJ07P2ip-50wWuPGV3ifgYbZQIvqt7dXl3BBMnchSmIxBCA3q_XPw5MIcYONCABhyTvzqxEszRKRbce2sEYeKqGimCbIEGl-FpPH7zfSvta-2Nyv6-HG7S1p5y17Ucm7y4pDRhG9efbnoktX1YCJm5-CZjcqVYvoY18DGSg=w400-h400" title="Source - Disney, Encanto - Google Images" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Encanto seems to be a raving success, especially among the 6 – 15-year-old for sure. Read on to know why it could be so.</div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;">I am also seeing many schools and organisations picking and choosing the characters of this movie and coming up with Escape Rooms, debate and discussion topics in schools and children study groups (outside schools too). Now that I have shared a link, I think a couple of disclaimers are also necessary to be cleared in the get go:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li style="text-align: justify;">This is <b>not a sponsored / paid promotional post</b> either for Disney, Encanto or for the other service organisations that get mentioned or linked here.</li><li style="text-align: justify;"><b>The opinions in this blog are mine based on my perspective</b> about the movie and it may or may not be matching those of the makers and researchers of the movie.</li><li style="text-align: justify;"><b>Spoiler Alert</b>: The blog may reveal more about the movie and its nuances, so if you would like to come back to this blog after watching the movie, I would recommend you save this blog for later reading, and go and watch the movie first – in which ever language you understand and are comfortable to watch it in.</li></ul><p></p><h3 style="text-align: justify;">Family of Madrigal</h3><div><div style="text-align: justify;">Let us take the song at the start of the movie, which is about the Family of Madrigal (The Family Madrigal). The Madrigal Family is bestowed upon by a miracle, when Pedro, Alma Madrigal’s (abuela) husband, is killed during the armed attack on their village. This miracle helps the rest of the survivors hide (after blasting the attackers) in the form of a charmed hidden place called Encanto surrounded by the mountains of Columbia, and a magical candle that keeps the magic alive and ensures the protection of the people who survived this armed attack. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiaHnuFXhqsZlDUXITAC9cl2eZf9oQCOOchpNbF2kbXixuG3m6qh76POyGjsiRfG8m9RroAZS4aGdHPPcbTxp-_ApXPnxg6wmlQPDY9Pz64SHIPrHhsUY3Iv9WRSqO2FGUySiJy-LmADmv3lHhmohVtzR6UpIG-N29NAoFtZ3hQGkhxgB2xLw=s1298" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img alt="Source - Disney Encanto - Google images" border="0" data-original-height="730" data-original-width="1298" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiaHnuFXhqsZlDUXITAC9cl2eZf9oQCOOchpNbF2kbXixuG3m6qh76POyGjsiRfG8m9RroAZS4aGdHPPcbTxp-_ApXPnxg6wmlQPDY9Pz64SHIPrHhsUY3Iv9WRSqO2FGUySiJy-LmADmv3lHhmohVtzR6UpIG-N29NAoFtZ3hQGkhxgB2xLw=w400-h225" title="Source - Disney Encanto - Google images" width="400" /></a><div style="text-align: justify;">I personally loved the song and was waiting eagerly till the end of the song only to realise that the family and entire village did not know what Mirabel’s gift was. I thought her gift was being able to understand the miraculous Madrigal House itself, in the way the song was picturised. By the end of the song, she would have introduced every member of her family and their unique yet prized gifts that they were blessed upon, in their childhood. The ending of the song showed how the family, or the village was oblivious to an obvious gift only because they could not see the magic that Mirabel was capable of, because it did not fit the norm that was expected by the mass. </div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">‘Each new Generation MUST keep the miracle burning’ – The word MUST shows the implicit expectation and the possible pressure that this expectation can have on all the family members of Madrigal, especially when Mirabel’s gift seemed to have skipped (but in reality, it wasn’t just what the family and the town people expected. Her gift was part of what we know to be an intangible skill). In fact, I thought Mirabel had more than one gift in the song itself – compassion, empathy, and ability to understand everyone and everything around her – all intangible skills that probably can’t be measured in any traditional sense. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">When Mirabel is ready to go home and a small girl with flower in her plaited hair, asks her ‘What is your gift?’, first I saw a representation of women and girls from my country who wear flowers in the exact same manner and was pleasantly surprised. Kudos to Disney for bringing in narratives that were representative of the many different people and cultures in the world. This one family had many different shades of skin too in the family members and hair types as well, which is again a huge shift from the stereotypical white representative characterisation of even (South) Asian characters like Jasmine and Mulan. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The end of the song where Mirabel struggles to get out from the incessant questions of the children about her gift because she was made to believe that she did not have one, because the family did not understand what her gift really was when she received it, shows the real pain that every person who is different from the majority goes through in family or in any kind of team/group, even in a work situation. The typical way of her cousin blurting out that Mirabel did not get one and the obvious shock registered on the children’s faces and the sense of disappointment and shame at self for failing such an extraordinary family of gifted individuals, is the best representation of what many of us probably go through in real life (a version of imposter syndrome), until they are able to accept themselves for who they are (albeit different from the rest, yet special) and celebrate their uniqueness before the rest of the world can see it for themselves.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>Waiting on a Miracle</b>: This very next song that follows The Family Madrigal song, tugged at my heart strings mainly because of the emotions that it invoked with the picturisation of the Mirabel’s longing to be accepted as being worthy of this family of gifted individuals, the characterisation of the family and subtle undercurrent that was established by then, by most family members who thought Mirabel was a sign of doom or mediocrity. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><h3 style="text-align: justify;">Pressure of Perfection & Social Emotional Learning (SEL)</h3><div style="text-align: justify;">Mirabels’s sisters Luisa (the strong one) and Isabela (the symbol of perfection) express their anxiety and stress stemming from the fear of failure. Luisa sings about her anxiety due to the failure affecting her strength (her miracle gift). She would like to have a break from shouldering the weight of expectation of always exhibiting strength and progress and have some time to deal with herself and her self-doubts. On the same note, Isabela brings a point of view of having to stick to only a few of the things that she can do because she is expected to be perfect in what she creates using her magic. She longs to want to try to see what more she can possibly create with her gift and her experimental efforts yield a beautiful outcome. Yet, it angers their abuela, who reprimands Mirabel implying that her involvement might negatively impact the magic of gifts (and fearing that it might probably even weaken the magic’s strength) bestowed upon their family and the protection it provides to their village. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhqZW75QyLBlDyOPY2PT_ZZd0Xsg3iStualiKiPG3XwLaUCZ9mLaYg-xQVeISbfRHAfF9zxbAsKyaevJRaTU-FfawI_gIsW7p3u2dlw46_2oS2Dq63JY9q-v3bGUdaruNnDjHXTwr9Se5HPCis17UggFIPrtjksxe40fgDjvXkLnlGLDbYoSA=s1846" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img alt="Source - Disney, Encanto - Google Images" border="0" data-original-height="1038" data-original-width="1846" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhqZW75QyLBlDyOPY2PT_ZZd0Xsg3iStualiKiPG3XwLaUCZ9mLaYg-xQVeISbfRHAfF9zxbAsKyaevJRaTU-FfawI_gIsW7p3u2dlw46_2oS2Dq63JY9q-v3bGUdaruNnDjHXTwr9Se5HPCis17UggFIPrtjksxe40fgDjvXkLnlGLDbYoSA=w400-h225" title="Source - Disney, Encanto - Google Images" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">“The elephant in the room” suffering from this pressure of perfection is Mirabel’s uncle, Bruno. The story unfolds showing that the family shuns Bruno because of his gift of precognition (reminded me of the Minority Report and the precogs from the movie). This skill again is stunted because of the pressure of perfection that is expected from Mirabel’s abuela (who is probably driven by her fear), as stated by Bruno. He is never good enough is the idea that seems to have been deeply personalised by him, due to which he decides to stay hidden from the family, by living in the spaces between the walls of the magical house. He also thinks that the family and the village only expect him to have positive visions, and when he has an incomplete vision or a not to great vision, he gets anxious about performance issues. When Mirabel also pushes him to show her the complete vision that he had about her, he visualises Mirabel needing to embrace a young woman (assumed to be Isabela) and embrace the relationship with its flaws and the person itself for who she is (strengths and vulnerabilities intact). </div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The movie does go on to unfold a different plot, which is great to watch and understand the bigger picture, stressing the importance of SEL in understanding self and the others as well, in the family or in the context of any relationship in our lives. It also brings up the issue of how trauma of early years can impact the perceptions and life decisions of an individual, and how essential it is to embrace ourselves with our abilities and vulnerabilities as well and know when to ask family/friends for support. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Many of these are feelings and emotions that the children between the age group of 6 & 15 go through due to the pressure of expectation from family, carers, educators, and well-wishers. While we all mean well, somewhere we need to keep a check on what drives our care and expectations and make sure it is not our unfounded fear that drives our expectations/actions, as we might run the risk of making the children feel suffocated with our care.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><h3 style="text-align: justify;">Diversity, Representation & Inclusion</h3><div style="text-align: justify;">For the first time, I have been ecstatic seeing so many different characters with different physical features, including the type of hair, the placement of flowers on the hair, the accessories worn, the colour & texture of the hair with differences that is representative of the real people’s physical features and cultural accessories that are used. A story that revolves around real life incidents (and not some fairy tale) that are very relatable, even when one may not know the historical event that probably inspired the story line. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Mirabel looks like my friend from my school days, and this is a feeling not just for me, even my daughter feels that maybe because the character’s design is like an everyday person you come across in your life (not a larger-than-life princess). The small girl with the flower in her plaited hair reminded me of my cousins and myself in our childhood when we had that long a hair, which was oiled and plaited, and flowers adorned them (if not daily at least once a week). The entire family of Madrigal and its members are like any of our (extended) families. In India till recently, joint families that large lived under the same roof. I grew up in one such family! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">At the end of the movie, the entire family accepts everyone as they are, is understanding of their vulnerabilities and embraces them with these vulnerabilities… And the song ‘All of You’ is a treasure to listen, summarising all the learnings of every character in the movie, for us to take along with us when we walk out of the movie. Here is the portion from that song that I love the most:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>But the stars don't shine, they burn</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>And the constellations shift</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>I think it's time you learn</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>You're more than just your gift</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>And I'm sorry I held on too tight</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>Just so afraid I'd lose you too</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>The miracle is not some magic that you've got</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i>The miracle is you, not some gift, just you</i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><b>The miracle is you</b></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><i><b>All of you, all of you</b></i></div><div style="text-align: justify;">(Credits - Encanto, Disney)</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Let us all take this with us always to be remembered, ‘the miracle is us, all of us’ and make this our guiding thoughts for every action of ours, including building and nurturing relationships (personal or professional). This is one movie (of a few of the more recent movies that focuses on the cultural diversity, equity & inclusion in addition to relatability, like Coco – maybe a review of that soon 😉) I would recommend that each one of us see and show to our young ones and have discussions around the various characters, their stories, their issues and how could that be overcome if this was something that we knew was a personal problem for any of our family members or friends. </div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">This blog is part of <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" target="_blank">Blogchatter’s</a> <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/what-causeachatter-looks-like-in-2022" target="_blank">#CauseAChatter</a> challenge, #MentalHealth, #Discrimination.</div>Aarthi Prabhakaranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09787880604451082866noreply@blogger.com2Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-15.227553636178845 45.114468400000007 41.392914036178844 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-40091192813485463912022-01-16T08:32:00.007+00:002022-01-16T15:43:45.288+00:00Pandemic and Family Wellbeing<p style="text-align: justify;">Last year, 2021, I signed up
for #CauseAChatter, when I was told by Team Blogchatter that most of my blogs
submitted under blogrolls qualify for the same. I stuck with the programme all
through the year. Come 2022, January brought with it some great changes and some not
so great ones as well. The first great thing was the certificate for being part of the CauseAChatter for 2021.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh-YJ4H3EuUThTU77eLLw-lS20lmX5KJSHHEk2wL2BRO3TB37n8RIhNHsS9z3JNoP-v6C0IIfe5fnTA65svEKBSSD7tzt_kINSfq_dummQAmHJSXkXeJ5iDLH5wJuRgqxgxgzGlp6X-3Dae2HoHyyCxghFxvAjVUEmeL0_LYXkDiGeHrz8V2A=s1305" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" data-original-height="919" data-original-width="1305" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh-YJ4H3EuUThTU77eLLw-lS20lmX5KJSHHEk2wL2BRO3TB37n8RIhNHsS9z3JNoP-v6C0IIfe5fnTA65svEKBSSD7tzt_kINSfq_dummQAmHJSXkXeJ5iDLH5wJuRgqxgxgzGlp6X-3Dae2HoHyyCxghFxvAjVUEmeL0_LYXkDiGeHrz8V2A=s320" width="320" /></a></div><p style="text-align: justify;">I have been offered a job in a start-up overseeing their HR
operations, which is a huge thing for someone who has had a very
non-traditional career path. I also decided that I wanted to pursue Masters
(Post Graduation) now, 2+ decades after I completed my undergraduate studies. I
was really hoping that the COVID situation will ease out with some semblance of
normalcy returning into our lives.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Unfortunately, Omicron
seemed to have a different idea altogether. Slowly cases are rising which has
brought online schools back in full force. Even the glimmer hope that a form
asking parental consent on sending older children to regular offline school
just got squashed. 2+ years of online school, work from home (WFH) alternating
between with and without domestic help, based on the circumstances, have had
their toll on my mental health. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I was curious to know
if I was the only one facing burnout and talked to some friends and found
that many were going through a similar phase. It got me thinking. Here are some things that I deduced from my discussions with peers and friends on what
contributes to this burnout:</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"></p><ul><li><b style="text-indent: -18pt;">Stunted
Social Life</b><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">: Restricted
movements and the social distancing protocols of COVID appropriate behaviour
leaves us all stuck indoors with just our family, and a few friends/neighbours
who live close by our place. This is even more so when we are not in a
financially privileged position to hire a private transport from our place to
someone else’s place far from home.</span></li><li><b style="text-indent: -18pt;">Stunted
Vacations</b><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">: Vacations are the
time to unwind. Irrespective of ones’ financial prowess, we would have one
family vacation at least every 2 years away from our place of residence to
enjoy the few days of change of routines or the lack of it, excitement of
exploring a new place (small village or huge city), or just a change of scenery
to break the monotony of life. Unfortunately, this hasn’t been possible for
obvious reasons.</span></li><li><b style="text-indent: -18pt;">Virtual
Workplaces</b><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">: While there are
benefits of virtual workspaces that help in keeping the continuity of work and
by extension, business, and economics, it is still not an option for all. Also,
the virtual workspace, I think is stunted as well, especially with respect to
human interactions as it lacks the decorum that an actual workplace can
provide.</span></li><li><b style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">Stunted
Learning for Children</b><span style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">:
Children thrive with social interactions that involve all their senses. Online
learning has them glued to the screens and a chair with no friend close by to
snicker or bicker. The attention span that was already very low, to begin with
has become almost negligible due to the monotony of the online classrooms.</span></li><li><span lang="EN-GB" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><a href="https://bhaarthi.blogspot.com/2021/09/lockdown-chaos-disparities-for-primary.html"><b><span lang="EN-IN">Lack of personal time and space for
primary care givers</span></b></a></span><span style="text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;">:
For homemakers like me who hustle between homemaker and consultant/businesswomen at our convenience (read when the rest of the family is out and
about, away from home), the pandemic lifestyle has been the toughest, catering
to the demands of the family bringing order among the chaos that COVID brought
into the daily routines by completely throwing it off track. Despite the
repeated reassurance given by experts that the pandemic will soon move into the
endemic mode, the light at the end of the tunnel is still not visible,
especially considering the lack of change in human behaviour that is exhibited
by leaders and common people alike.</span></li></ul><p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -18pt;"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Usually, when I write,
I like to make sure that I also give a <span lang="EN-GB"><a href="https://bhaarthi.blogspot.com/2021/10/lockdown-chaos-coping-mechanisms-for.html"><span lang="EN-IN">few pointers on how to address the
issue at hand</span></a></span>. While I
do know I can give some, for the above-stated problem too, I am not sure they
are enough to address the problem of burnout that people like me (Indian women,
who are the unopposed primary caregivers with no choice to play the role of a
secondary caregiver) are going through. And this burnout is not restricted to just people like me. It has affected every individual irrespective of age, gender, economic status and other such associated identifiers. The online space is also not safe
enough to discuss our issues and vulnerabilities without a troll or a few
dropping in and adding to our already overflowing basket of woes. With such a
bleak picture, a deep sigh escapes me more often than usual and I find myself
wishing fervently for the end to be near, for everyone's sake.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">The need for safe
spaces for everyone to be able to share their vulnerabilities, pain points, and
frustrations has become a priority. Unfortunately, as a race, we humans have
still, not even taken the first step to understanding ourselves and the biases that
drive our behaviours and life choices. We are a long way from creating such
safe spaces for healthy sharing and the probable start of beneficial discussions
that can initiate a change. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I believe that
miracles are a result of small intentional actions that would eventually drive
a tsunami-like shift in our behavioural patterns, that feels like a miracle. Let
us all together pledge to do our share of small intentional actions such as
being self-aware, observing what is happening around us, and acting when we see
someone in need of a break at least when they ask for it, shifting our focus from
excellence to consistent progress (even is student performance – as parents and
educators), and more. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Do share your thoughts
on what other small intentional actions can bring about the tsunami-like wave
that looks like a miracle?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">This blog is part of <span lang="EN-GB"><a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/"><span lang="EN-IN">Blogchatter’s</span></a></span> <span lang="EN-GB"><a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/what-causeachatter-looks-like-in-2022"><span lang="EN-IN">#CauseAChatter</span></a></span> challenge, #MentalHealth, #Discrimination, #AccessToEducation.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>Aarthi Bharathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13590058855322273744noreply@blogger.com0Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-15.227553636178845 45.114468400000007 41.392914036178844 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-36437257500300763742021-12-05T17:38:00.018+00:002021-12-06T04:23:07.592+00:00My Volunteering Journey <p style="text-align: justify;">My association with <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" target="_blank">Blogchatter</a> started with the team reaching out to me saying that many of my blogrolls submitted qualify for the <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/rules-and-regulations-to-participate-in-causeachatter" target="_blank">#CauseAChatter</a> challenge that had just begun in the first quarter for this year. This was in Feb. this year as soon as I joined the platform creating my profile. While this marks my journey as a <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/rules-and-regulations-to-participate-in-causeachatter" target="_blank">#CauseAChatter</a> champion, my journey as a volunteer began when I was in 6th Grade at school. The earliest I remember was enrolling myself as a part of Scouts & Guides team. I remember wanting to be part of the National Service Scheme (NSS) during my secondary years, but my new school did not have NSS. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">My blogs are a means for me to share my lived experiences in my life, filled with changes and learning from adapting and dealing with the constant changes that I have gone through as a student (K12 completed in 7 different schools) as well as an adult glomad (resident in 4 countries on 3 continents in a span of 13 years).</p><p style="text-align: justify;">This year’s <a href="https://www.un.org/en/observances/volunteer-day" target="_blank">UN theme</a> for International Volunteer Day is <b>Volunteer now for our common future</b>. On this day, this makes a lot of sense for me in my mid-life, I can’t claim that I knew about this as a child or even as a young adult. Yet the warmth I felt, when I volunteered and saw that my time and effort created a positive impact wherever I was able to contribute, was something that I wanted to keep. This is what made me to continue volunteering my time, effort, and skills in every place I resided. Once I settled into the new place, I would seek out the local community centre or NGO through the network of friends that I made in the initial phase and start my volunteering journey working for the cause that I felt at home with, in the local community. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj6d8PGzXXs_XIGMqsoSaqDxsn5gJtBYGWwpWX_mcD9rQH-7WT4N5d8AWZ_ncDnEgg0WtfWq5I6konvWfSTPHOume7Qi8Ez89MqdGPIG9LWTqT3aeIBASSRPoQ1KpZ5mY_YHt3c4vx1M5Ov4cXZsNwSCgTJte_BpYlqVmeyFvD7YYDjKrQs8w=s2000" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="2000" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj6d8PGzXXs_XIGMqsoSaqDxsn5gJtBYGWwpWX_mcD9rQH-7WT4N5d8AWZ_ncDnEgg0WtfWq5I6konvWfSTPHOume7Qi8Ez89MqdGPIG9LWTqT3aeIBASSRPoQ1KpZ5mY_YHt3c4vx1M5Ov4cXZsNwSCgTJte_BpYlqVmeyFvD7YYDjKrQs8w=w400-h320" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Over the years, I have faced one question that I have always struggled to answer with conviction, not because I did not believe in volunteering, but because I never really paused to think what was it that always brought me to volunteer my time and effort and not my money that I earn from my profession. There have also been times when I have felt low when peers and juniors (sometimes even seniors) have made statements to the effect that excellent skills were probably not used enough to support myself towards mending/uplifting my career path. </div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Thanks to <a href="https://twitter.com/blogchatter/status/1466746553662676992?t=sbjGJDfHLcUv28wyITVJFw&s=08" target="_blank">Blogchatter’s question</a> for this International Volunteer Day on <i>what #Unstoppable means to me as a #CauseAChatter Champion</i>, my mind raced down the memory lane to come up with the answer to why I always kept being pulled towards volunteering.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Working for a cause is always measured by the impact that it has created and for me this measure was always important. The purpose of my work, I preferred to measure with the impact that it had/has in the overall schema of things. Most people associate success to a number (either the figure of salary that reached our bank accounts, the ordinal number in the race of life, or the hierarchical position in the career ladder), for me it meant the feeling of contentment for me and if someone else also benefited from my work, then that is the cherry on the cake. Volunteering never failed me in this. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">There are different kinds of volunteering based on what you are willing to volunteer: Financial Aid, Time, Expertise & Effort. All of them are essential components to be able to bring the required impact.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">While I know what benefit I gained, the measure of impact that my contribution is some instances are unknown so far, maybe because they were seeds of thought planted to initiate/enable change and I had to relocate from there before I could see the progress of my planted seed.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Blogging (close to 2 decades) here & on <a href="https://www.momspresso.com/parenting/parenting-with-pride" target="_blank">Momspresso</a> (for the last 3 years), and answering on <a href="https://www.quora.com/profile/Aarthi-Bharath" target="_blank">Quora</a> (at least the last 3 years) is another voluntary activity that I have had the pleasure of doing. This is my way to leaving behind responsible digital footprints of my lived experience and knowledge gained from these experiences, for the future generations to come, because what you put online, remains there forever.</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><b>What is in it for me?</b></p><p style="text-align: justify;">This is one question I have faced time and again from many, despite the higher personal benefit gained from volunteering experience. So here I am listing it out again, hoping that this article will serve as my answer in future the next time I encounter the question.</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li style="text-align: justify;">Personal Satisfaction of Serving by impacting: While financial independence may not be there, I get the experience of deciding how the funds, shared by those volunteering funds for causes close their heart, get utilised to positively impact the recipients of the cause.</li><li style="text-align: justify;">Knowing that my skills are directly being used to impact changes at the grass root level issues and hence will bring a better changed perspective and maybe by extension a better world for our future generations, because I am on the ground working at the grass root level and hence see this impact sooner than most.</li><li style="text-align: justify;">It also helps me identify the causes at the grass root level to give me a front row seat view of how concepts of social and parental conditions, community groupism drive the group think. So, while solutioning, inclusion comes naturally due to having experienced these things on the field rather than just reading a passive version of it in books in the form of theories.</li><li style="text-align: justify;">Helps me become a better person because mindfulness becomes a way of life in every role I don as part of a larger group/community. I am aware that the world of opportunities and privileges aren’t the same for everyone, even within the same community and hence the solutions or community level programmes need to be open and flexible enough to accommodate for this kind of variations, is a deeply ingrained lesson from practically experiencing it.</li><li style="text-align: justify;">The personal detachment also becomes a way of life, while receiving feedback and criticism. Both success and failure are transient, is something that I have learned over the years, and hence the criticisms have started becoming less personal and less trigging. Equally, appreciations bring momentary pleasure, they never get to the additive phase, and I can move on to the next goal or cause that I identify for myself to work for the community wellbeing (that will eventually also cater to my wellbeing).</li><li style="text-align: justify;">Success and failure are impact based rather than number based, which is a huge change in perspective but very calming for my personal self. I am out of the rat race because I know why I am working and not doing it because everyone aspires success. I also do (aspire for success), but just that my success definition has changed.</li><li style="text-align: justify;">It allows me to experiment and learn skills outside my expertise and comfort area through online certification courses that contribute to the Continuous Professional Development (CPD) and growth.</li><li style="text-align: justify;">The freedom to work outside the comfort zone also gives me scope relook at my educational qualification based on the country's acts and regulatory norms before I can narrow down on the right degree to top my current qualifications to continue my personal journey of skilling and qualifying, that would enable me to contribute towards the cause and the community with more relevancy and expertise.</li><li style="text-align: justify;">Builds my personal and professional network and helps in personal self-care (with a sense of contentment and accomplishment) for the multitude of reasons mentioned above.</li></ul><div style="text-align: justify;">While #sustainability and <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-environment-building-a-greener-today-and-tomorrow" target="_blank">#EnvironmentalTalks</a> invoke the thought of green initiatives and reduce, reuse & recycle, I think the sustainability and environmental talks are incomplete without the impact of the role of volunteering and volunteers in these. On this International Volunteering Day, sharing my continuous tryst with volunteering till now and one that will continue in future also, is my dedication to this year’s theme in urging those of you who happen upon this blog to start volunteering to experience and enjoy what I have, and if you already are a volunteer, then to continue your journey.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">This blog is part of <a href="https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/6977463/3643725750030076374#" target="_blank">Blogchatter’s</a> <a href="https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/6977463/3643725750030076374#" target="_blank">#CauseAChatter</a> challenge (<a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-environment-building-a-greener-today-and-tomorrow" target="_blank">#EnvironmentalTalks</a> & <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-mental-health-together-towards-a-healthy-mind" target="_blank">#MentalHealthTalks</a>) and #CauseAChatter Projects.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">You can find all my blogs written for the #CauseAChatter challenge <a href="https://bhaarthi.blogspot.com/search/label/Blogchatter" target="_blank">here</a>.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">You might also like to read:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><ul><li><a href="https://bhaarthi.blogspot.com/2019/12/playing-small-part-in-my-social.html" target="_blank">Playing a small part in my Social Responsibility</a></li><li><a href="https://bhaarthi.blogspot.com/2020/05/my-first-fb-live-on-coping-with-social.html" target="_blank">My First FB Live on 'Coping with Social Change', Learnings & Recommendations</a></li></ul></div><p></p>Aarthi Prabhakaranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09787880604451082866noreply@blogger.com4Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-15.227553636178845 45.114468400000007 41.392914036178844 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-53148570978521464122021-11-28T18:02:00.011+00:002021-12-03T03:50:40.690+00:00How can women be the champion of change in MSME business?<p style="text-align: justify;">We all know and have heard how educating women can change the dynamics of an entire family and even a nation. Here are some powerful ones:</p><p style="text-align: justify;">“When women are educated, their countries become stronger and more prosperous.” - Michelle Obama</p><p style="text-align: justify;">“When you invest in a girl’s education, she feeds herself, her children, her community, and her nation.” - Erna Solberg</p><p style="text-align: justify;">“A girl child who is even a little bit educated is more conscious of family planning, health care and, in turn, her children's own education.” - Azim Premji</p><h4 style="text-align: justify;">Beacons of Change </h4><p style="text-align: justify;">While we now have a lot of schemes in India for Girl child education, what happens to most of them after they are educated? The socio-cultural conditioning still finds space for the unconscious bias of family care and nurture being solely dependent on women. This becomes even more detrimental when the career progress of women is concerned. Yet, we see on a regular basis that, many women are undeterred by the hurdles that these unconscious biases (their own and that of the society’s) poses for them and can figure out their individual path, that brings them back on the track to career and contribute towards conscious community care and development as well. This lived experience is different for every woman and these variations are what bring novelty to their individual experiences. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">When these women stabilise their journey back into a career and sustain their growth despite the changes in their personal life, and challenges in their professional life that might be conflicting with their personal needs, become beacons of light and leaders, who inspire by walking the path. They inspire the possibility of change for many women wanting change in their lives due to decisions taken out of generational conditioning. Women in Micro, Small & Medium Enterprises (MSME) are a smaller subset of this larger group of women who choose self-run business as their career option. While there are many successful women to highlight understanding those women who are probably much closer to us by the proximity of distance or relationship would help us relate to how each of us can become one such woman inspiring change by living it.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">To understand this better, before we get into real-life inspirations that each of us might have in our own circle of family, friends, and acquaintances, let us take a couple of relatable modern-day movie characters, that bring out this aspect very well.</p><h4 style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_Vinglish" target="_blank">Sashi (from English Vinglish)</a></h4><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-h4M9IebziTk/YaPEb7HblaI/AAAAAAAAqQw/nKs8nV47PMs4fRprAN0oTJck9fQMtw7jwCLcBGAsYHQ/s295/English%2BVinglish%2BLaddoo.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" data-original-height="171" data-original-width="295" height="171" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-h4M9IebziTk/YaPEb7HblaI/AAAAAAAAqQw/nKs8nV47PMs4fRprAN0oTJck9fQMtw7jwCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/English%2BVinglish%2BLaddoo.jpg" width="295" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Shashi Godbole is an Indian homemaker who makes and sells laddoos as a home-run business. Her husband and daughter take her for granted, mock her because she doesn't speak much English, and generally treat her with disrespect, making Shashi feel vulnerable and insecure. Sashi’s character is representative of most homemakers in India. The rest of the movies unfolds with lived experiences of how a non-English speaking Indian woman finds her way around New York City, manages to enroll in a Spoken English class that has people from different countries of the world, giving her an international multi-cultural exposure as a bonus. The money that she uses for payment towards the spoken English course is from the income of her laddoo business. Finally, with her command over the language (upskilling), her event management skills to manage a wedding in foreign soil, building and nurturing relationships accommodating for the changing times, with healthy boundaries that mirror her personal values, she ends up being an inspiration to many. </div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><h4 style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/36_Vayadhinile" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Vasanthi (from 36 Vayadhinile)</a></h4><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Vasanthi is a working woman, doing the run-of-the-mill job as a clerk in Revenue Department and managing her home - again a typical characterisation of a middle-class working woman in India. When her husband aspires to emigrate to Ireland, she is unable to join him due to her age acting as a hindrance for job applications. When her husband and her daughter travel to Ireland, she is left behind in India and finds a lot of time on her hand with lesser responsibilities at home after work. </div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZlgCXMT0uRg/YaPEnW0G3zI/AAAAAAAAqQ0/ITIrOHULrKsOw_uWIapU_dWeRgkQnGP0QCLcBGAsYHQ/s271/36%2Bvayadhinile.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img border="0" data-original-height="186" data-original-width="271" height="186" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZlgCXMT0uRg/YaPEnW0G3zI/AAAAAAAAqQ0/ITIrOHULrKsOw_uWIapU_dWeRgkQnGP0QCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/36%2Bvayadhinile.jpg" width="271" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">A happenstance meeting with her college friend (who is now a CXO), reminds Vasanthi of herself when she was a college student. This inspires Vasanthi to rediscover herself, whom she lost in the mundane everyday life, with no personal time or space till now. This quest of hers takes her down the path of creating a sustainable business model of sourcing and using organically grown and sourced vegetables for a wedding catering, by using the unused terrace spaces of a modern city dwelling into organic greenhouses and the manual effort of homemakers and retired citizens who love gardening. Eventually, the movie goes on to show her winning regional and national accolades for her idea and achievement and the successful meeting with the President of India, with complete confidence.</div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: justify;">Shashi & Vasanthi inspirations in my Life</h4><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I have met such women in real life as well. A trailing spouse from India, living in the USA with a young child, graduate in her local medium (but did not know English), loved cooking, made a source of income, by making homemade Indian community around us, used that income to find a private English tutor for herself, to come home to teach her (as her child was too young for her to leave home for a class). Now, she is quite well-versed in English and financially also independent and contributing to her family. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">When I lived in the UK, I had the opportunity to know another such strong woman who was from the same state from where I come, in her late 30s, but never had the experience of having a formal school education, before she relocated. She could not read or write in any language and could only speak in her mother tongue. She had three children and loved cooking. She started with making home-cooked meals for elderly and known people, for a nominal price, to support her spouse’s paltry income, to care for the needs of the family. I saw her transform into someone who now knows to make simple sentences in English, found herself a job through a UK job centre, in one of the retail stores. Now she has a day job and a micro business.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">While both these women are my real-life examples (but outside India), I am sure we all will have such stories of women who transformed to inspire others in our own lives in our own neighbourhood in India. Sometimes we miss noticing them, as we are too close to the conditioning thoughts/culture that blind us from seeing such women for their achievements. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><h4 style="text-align: justify;">Champions of Change</h4><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The above examples show how traditional skills and passion areas can be turned into possible opportunities for a woman’s livelihood when supported by necessary skilling and networking. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">Many of women's contributions to the economy continue to go unrecognized because their work is not easily counted within the conventional structures. Women do most of the work within this unorganized sector (and mostly from their homes) and as a result, much of their work is not counted (or is underrepresented) in official statistics. Yet these experiences naturally equip women with some basic skills that benefit those who wish to enter the MSME segment:</div></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li style="text-align: justify;"><b>Thriving in adversity</b> makes women resilient in the face of failure. Setting up a business has its own journey of ups & downs, filled with challenges and changes before it can start making a profit. Having experienced such adversities on the personal front, helps them to stay the course till the business starts making money.<br /></li><li style="text-align: justify;"><b>Maximising impact with limited resources</b>: Something women are used to, on a regular basis, while running a family within budget. Bootstrapping, working with limited funds and resources in an MSME business is just a natural extension. <br /></li><li style="text-align: justify;"><b>Agile Learner</b>: Learning to adapt to change in environment (during marriage and as trailing spouses), transitioning through stages of growth daughter, wife, daughter-in-law, mother, grandmother. In all these phases, the constant being shouldering the responsibility of home management as default. In some cases, women also play the role of a tutor, counsellor, and first aider. This ability enables women to dig into the business nitty-gritty, understand its depth and width, look for help and ask for it as well when needed, and keep marching ahead. <br /></li><li style="text-align: justify;"><b>Home Management Skills</b>: Planning, Bookkeeping, Procurement, Budgeting, Personal care, Teaching. These are transferable skills that are useful assets in setting up a business and becoming a trainer for self and others thereby minimising training costs and personal costs. Childcare, a major responsibility heavily dependent on the woman is a viable business option today for creche or pre-school/playschools with the necessary skilling and certifications along with safety requirements.<br /></li><li style="text-align: justify;"><b>Hobbies into Business Ideas</b>: More traditional housekeeping and self-care skills that are taught as hobbies to women such as sewing, embroidery, lace making, crochet, tatting, candle making, art, craft, dance, music, yoga, fitness, are all possible sustainable business idea for MSME with minimal or no investment or advertising costs. <br /></li><li style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4114749/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Research</a> shows that Women are more <b>Emotionally Intelligent</b> than men. Handling relationships, childcare, care of ailing family members, are natural means to learning emotional intelligence on the job and this comes in as a strength in the business world while learning to manage professional relationships and work with different people their cultural conditioning.</li><li style="text-align: justify;"><b>The Right to Education </b>& <b>Educating a Girl Child </b>campaign has been liberating and empowering women to establish a presence in every field. MSME is no exception. Read more about the women who have achieved by being trailblazers in the MSME segment in this <a href="https://theceostory.in/blog/top-10-famous-women-entrepreneurs-in-india/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">article</a> by The CEO Story.</li></ul><h4 style="text-align: justify;">Encouraging more Women into the MSME Segment</h4><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://msme.gov.in/" target="_blank">Ministry of Micro, Small & Medium Enterprises</a> (MSME), on the eve of International Women’s day 2018, launched <a href="https://udyamregistration.gov.in/Government-India/Ministry-MSME-registration.htm" target="_blank">Udayam Sakhi</a>, a network for nurturing social entrepreneurship creating business models revolving around low-cost products and services to resolve social inequities [2]. The ministry’s website is also content-rich with multiple resources and reading material on MSME for those who wish to venture out in this direction.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The ministry also has a programme called <a href="https://champions.gov.in/Government-India/Ministry-MSME-Portal-handholding/msme-problem-complaint-welcome.htm" target="_blank">MSME Champions</a> to promote sustainable growth to promising MSME through mentoring and make them national and international champions.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">For more in-depth reading and information here are a few recent reports:</div></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://msme.gov.in/sites/default/files/March_Insider.pdf" target="_blank">MSME insider 2021 focusing on women’s role in MSME</a></li><li style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://www.ifc.org/wps/wcm/connect/ca5c0868-e89d-4b43-ace5-8a702ed29b25/Financial+Inclusion+for+Women-owned+MSMEs.July+31.pdf?MOD=AJPERES&CVID=mOK28X8" target="_blank">Financial Inclusion for Woman-Owned Micro, Small & Medium Enterprises (MSMEs) in India</a></li></ul></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Growth Matters Forum is a community for business owners to explore ideas, streamline growth and create an impact. Join the community <a href="https://growthmattersforum.com/?utm_source=blogchatter&utm_medium=blog-contest&utm_campaign=growing-businesses-together" target="_blank">here</a>.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><u>Pictures</u>: Stills from the movies English Vinglish & 36 Vayadhinile.</span></div>Aarthi Bharathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13590058855322273744noreply@blogger.com0Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-15.227553636178845 45.114468400000007 41.392914036178844 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-34607736897011909192021-11-18T17:26:00.009+00:002021-11-18T17:26:46.786+00:00Work-Life Balance or Balancing your Life?<p>This phrase <b>work-life balance</b> is used to explain the way an individual can and needs to bring a balance between their official work (employed or an entrepreneur) and personal life and thereby regulate the impact on one another. For me, the phrase seemed quite incomprehensible, yet I just could never explain exactly why it was so. When someone asked me that question, my response to it had the answer to the why. I always started my response with the phrase, “My work life and personal life…”. The blog that wrote about this in 2006 is also titled <b><a href="https://bhaarthi.blogspot.com/2006/05/balancing-work-life-and-social-life.html" target="_blank">Balancing Work Life and Social Life</a></b> as opposed to the phrase ‘Work-Life balance’.</p><p>Despite this stance, the aha moment for clarity dawned on me when recently I was having a conversation with my Spouse, and he spelled out pretty well what I was probably struggling to clearly state. </p><p><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Work is just one part of your life. </i></span></p><p>Work is, but one component of our lives, among various other things that constitute our whole life. So how can you have a part of life in a balance with life itself? It logically/realistically can’t. Life is much larger, more like a superset (sometimes I think of it as a universal set) of work. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tKGe4jXBUmw/YZaKJ4A4noI/AAAAAAAAqOQ/UiBqdgw94AIPk-ia1aSOgSJXMG9TX1V3ACLcBGAsYHQ/s1280/Work%2BLife%2BBalance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="360" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tKGe4jXBUmw/YZaKJ4A4noI/AAAAAAAAqOQ/UiBqdgw94AIPk-ia1aSOgSJXMG9TX1V3ACLcBGAsYHQ/w640-h360/Work%2BLife%2BBalance.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>With this explanation, for me, “work-life balance” loses its traditional value that work and life itself need to be given equal focus/weightage.</div><div><br /></div><div>Once this is the perspective, priority, process, and the rest just follow, helping in the long run to practice the calm that's the first step for self-care. While the perception shift sounds easy when explained, really arriving at this mindset takes a lot of effort against generational conditioning and groupthink. </div><div><br /></div><div>Here are a few things that can help in reframing our thoughts to develop this healthy outlook. Once we do this, we have a hold on our well-being – mental and physical. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Define your components of life</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Explicitly defining what life means for you and maybe evening writing it down on a piece of paper or drawing a mind map of it. For some, it could just mean predominantly their work, ending up being workaholics and facing the consequences on health that workaholism can lead to. For some others, it could only mean being a part of a socially acceptable marriage institution, ending up losing their self-identity, and seeing them sacrificing their needs as a primary carer of their family.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Let go of Perfectionism</b></div><div><br /></div><div>The thought that helps within assisting in this reframing our mindset to remove the focus from work and shift it to the larger image of life is the acceptance that, I am not perfect, nowhere close to being an expert. There's always a scope for us to learn from anyone and anywhere. This provides the grounding needed to accept and work with our failures (even to meet our own expectations from ourselves), in life and work. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Guilt-free Mindset</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Whichever part of the world we are from, human conditioning has a stronghold on self-driven guilt on a lot of things. Understanding the difference between necessary guilt, to ensure not repeating a mistake or a blunder and toxic guilt that cripples us from even functioning normally is a journey each of us needs to travel through self-awareness and self-acceptance.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Honing your Abilities</b></div><div><br /></div><div>While the popular belief is that people are born with their abilities, I personally believe that these can be developed by anyone, at any age. An <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/talent-nature-nurture-pradeep-sahay/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">article by Pradeep Sahay</a> on LinkedIn that highlights that the old nature vs nurture absolutist argument is probably ready to be shelved and in its place, a new approach of using context to understand the nature and nurture aspect of talent is a good place to start reading to expand our outlook. There is additional reading within the article that is helpful in adding to our knowledge and learning.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Accepting the Fluidness of Life</b></div><div><br /></div><div>My favourite phrase ‘Life throws a curveball when you least expect it’ – repeating this every time in my head during the tough phases of life, helps me tackle them because there is hope that eventually when you practice tacking enough curveballs, the rude shock of the getting sucker-punched by a curveball can one day change to a pleasurable challenge of reeling in a tough situation and growing with the learning from the tackle. This also brings with it the skill of adapting/adopting to change, learning the skills to stay relevant, and growing & changing with the change that is a constant always.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Healthy Routines</b></div><div><br /></div><div>When we are on the topic of change, the one thing that can keep us grounded is having healthy routines. Routines help in giving us a soft comfort that helps us deal with the rest of the chaos that is outside our power of control, as it comes. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Setting boundaries </b></div><div><br /></div><div>Change and routine also bring us to the most important part of healthy regulation – setting healthy boundaries. Working on our conditioning, unconscious biases, understanding ourselves and working on accepting ourselves the way we are before we can start working on what changes we wish to see in ourselves would be a great place to start for setting healthy personal boundaries.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Believing in Relationships</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Building relationships (in the workspace and in our personal lives) involves actively engaging in nurturing the relationship and ensuring that the basis of every relationship, trust, remains undeterred. Working on relationships also helps in creating a safety net for us to rely on when we are low on our personal strengths. While the phrase building and believing in a relationship seems simple enough, it is an emotional roller coaster ride and hence requires a lot of work on our personal emotional intelligence.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Social Life</b></div><div><br /></div><div>While family and work colleagues are great, they are a given. Having a social life outside these two, building a social circle that includes, friends, causes that are close to our heart, like-minded groups sharing similar thoughts, passion, and interests, needs to be part of our social life for us to gain an enriching life experience.</div><div><br /></div><div>We are all dispensable (replaceable) in the grand scheme of life, especially with the ‘Change being a constant’ tag line creeping up unannounced. A life well-lived (for me) means, when I am replaced (or dispensed), I have no regrets at all and am content with how I lived my life. </div><div><br /></div><div>While these are some of the mindful ways to have a fulfilling life as I see it, most would call these tips to have a great work-life balance. Whatever you would like to call it, these are some of the life hacks that I would stand by to make living life easier and enjoyable, considering that life always has a way to surprise us, when we least expect it. </div><div><br /></div><div>This blog is part of <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" target="_blank">Blogchatter’s</a> <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/rules-and-regulations-to-participate-in-causeachatter" target="_blank">#CauseAChatter</a> challenge, <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-mental-health-together-towards-a-healthy-mind" target="_blank">#MentalHealthTalks</a>.</div>Aarthi Bharathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13590058855322273744noreply@blogger.com2Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-15.227553636178845 45.114468400000007 41.392914036178844 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-84496647525157776272021-10-09T07:30:00.001+01:002021-10-09T08:03:30.713+01:00Lockdown Chaos: Coping Mechanisms for the Primary Caregivers (Part 2 of 2)<p>If you would like to read the <a href="https://bhaarthi.blogspot.com/2021/09/lockdown-chaos-disparities-for-primary.html" target="_blank"><b>part 1</b></a> the <a href="https://bhaarthi.blogspot.com/2021/09/lockdown-chaos-disparities-for-primary.html" target="_blank"><b>Lockdown Chaos: Coping Mechanisms for the Primary Caregivers (Part 1 of 2)</b></a>, follow the link. </p><p><b>“No health without mental health” </b>– Surgeon General David Satcher</p><p>Here are a few coping mechanisms I practice for my personal mental wellbeing (most involve a mindset shift from what we have been conditioned, a reframing of sorts)</p><p></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li><b><u>Learn to Pause</u></b>: We are conditioned to believe that we must always be engaged and contributing something. Doing nothing, is not equivalent to wasting precious time. Sometimes we need that pause of doing nothing to rejuvenate ourselves and our overworked mental and physical system. Even a supercomputer needs to be shutdown to keep it working well for long.<br /><br /></li><li><b><u>Read Different Genres</u></b>: I enjoy reading (anything). I love to explore different genres and different authors. I may not read to the extent of quoting the author with the phrase or passage, but now we have the luxury or searching for the same before we share it on the digital platforms. I love to read to explore unexplored territories to widen my thoughts and diversify my thinking pattern. <br /><br /></li><li><b><u>Create Something From Scratch</u></b>: I love counted cross stitch and writing. My go-to comforter is one of these two and I am always pulled into it so deeply that the needed distance from whatever is bothering my mental wellbeing is automatically created. This enables me to clearly look into it from afar and then find a way to tackle it to bring back my mental peace. The last year+ saw the conceptualisation of a memoire book on my father-in-law. What started as a digitisation effort of his written work from more than 3-4 decades ago, as it progressed the book had snippets from significant people about him and his positive influence in their lives. The process of conceptualising and shaping such a creation kept me grounded during the pandemic times stuck indoors. The coordination of getting input from people living in different parts of the state and compiling it to a complete book was cathartic. Seeing the book published and released on 31st August 2021 (on his 75th Birth anniversary) in his memory gave a sense of accomplishment.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjHoMK80VgENP89p68GhyVhLadww0NYQoUIocMvoMQDnLvMWxqYnj35-5FYAwUYz5QVqLCsDoBWVwriheAKRkW8gIal1Ik26zbiQ-MKWj3Bjm_pJ0yrXkYmmwfKJwlGLvdq56_7GmWBen1oAQXQTgbzhgG2SbkmlhLgm0kfHhGritLLNT4dzQ=s2048" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1379" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjHoMK80VgENP89p68GhyVhLadww0NYQoUIocMvoMQDnLvMWxqYnj35-5FYAwUYz5QVqLCsDoBWVwriheAKRkW8gIal1Ik26zbiQ-MKWj3Bjm_pJ0yrXkYmmwfKJwlGLvdq56_7GmWBen1oAQXQTgbzhgG2SbkmlhLgm0kfHhGritLLNT4dzQ=s320" width="215" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj8K1pF8ONZdfMpRMvZglQPYP58K201BOhkP8Dc47wrQbydE1peVXbo4bZ7_ViCXRhRe2JphuDonP28iLNwjPeSEToonpGlwnzM7jh-wYA_8lEi2TNukz5mgiX1SfHrDXXzG6hX4konV7jRWg4kdkhvSWud00JeF19nsMy4wO8CYPXuaSD4Jw=s778" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="778" data-original-width="590" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj8K1pF8ONZdfMpRMvZglQPYP58K201BOhkP8Dc47wrQbydE1peVXbo4bZ7_ViCXRhRe2JphuDonP28iLNwjPeSEToonpGlwnzM7jh-wYA_8lEi2TNukz5mgiX1SfHrDXXzG6hX4konV7jRWg4kdkhvSWud00JeF19nsMy4wO8CYPXuaSD4Jw=s320" width="243" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><div>The whole effort also seemed like a cathartic closure for the family dealing with the grief of his passing (a decade ago). In 2019, I did a similar effort of compiling the devotional songs of my paternal grandmother in a book format to be given as memorabilia for the family on her first death anniversary.</div><div><br /></div></div></div></li><li><b><u>A Good Sleep</u></b>: Earlier I used to think that sleeping without solving a fight or a problem is not good for the relationship or self. Now I have come to realise that ‘sleep over a problem’ was told by someone who knew what they meant. When you sleep your body and mind are well rested. Sometimes your dreams could be a way of finding innovative, interesting, and simple solutions to the problem that you had before you slept. There have been extensive studies on this. Here are a couple of articles that has scientific data to support this need.</li><ul><li><a href="https://www.sleepfoundation.org/women-sleep/do-women-need-more-sleep-than-men" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Do Women Need More Sleep Than Men?</a></li><li><a href="https://www.resmed.com/en-us/sleep-apnea/sleep-blog/fact-or-fiction-do-women-need-more-sleep-than-men/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">FACT or FICTION: Do women need more sleep than men?</a><br /><br /></li></ul><li><b><u>Pick your Partner-in-crime’s brain</u></b>: This could be anyone from your sibling, spouse, cousin, friend, work colleague, parent, teacher, or a counsellor who is a good listener and ideator, who understands inclusivity and knows to compassionately look at things from your point of view and then come up with perspectives that would make us think differently from what we had assumed. I read somewhere a quote on assumption – When you ‘assume’ you make an Ass of U and Me. This stuck with me forever. Now, every single time I move into the zone of assuming that I know what goes in someone else’s mind or what they might be feeling, this quote pops into my head and there ends my assumptions. I find that it is easier to clarify what we are thinking to be true or not by openly paraphrasing it without being judgmental when we articulate our thoughts. Doing so also helps in enriching the said relationship and increases our personal score on the integrity index!<br /><br /></li><li><b><u>Free yourselves from expectations</u></b>: Everyone has expectations – we from others and others from us. Yet many of us want and wish to be free of it. This takes conscious effort, but it is worth the effort. When you free yourself from expectations, there are no disappointments. Here is something that can help you see how expectations are formed. When you are able to see that, you will figure out your own way to break free of it.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgYI50VUuzy8OhlvIyPqQGUxcmUs1Yix0YU9QPPY-TYqLMOFz46v6KCmTQsr6_oyJbJ2y_ymfywvPNWpDFraa1Gi6tFx5T-44Arf_MMcUsQUglkWcrV_4WWIsmsYYZT6KXtafhtWzTcghqAMSGqXRtLtRl9kpXI3LsZKiTG4ZJ0yz6pkHVrcw=s361" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="My 100 word story published on Momspresso" border="0" data-original-height="361" data-original-width="331" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgYI50VUuzy8OhlvIyPqQGUxcmUs1Yix0YU9QPPY-TYqLMOFz46v6KCmTQsr6_oyJbJ2y_ymfywvPNWpDFraa1Gi6tFx5T-44Arf_MMcUsQUglkWcrV_4WWIsmsYYZT6KXtafhtWzTcghqAMSGqXRtLtRl9kpXI3LsZKiTG4ZJ0yz6pkHVrcw=w366-h400" title="My 100 word story published on Momspresso on Free from Expectation" width="366" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">My <b><a href="https://www.momspresso.com/user/2c1870eb3a4c4b5c85e4a170fd83b3c0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">100 word story</a> </b>first published on <a href="https://www.momspresso.com/user/2c1870eb3a4c4b5c85e4a170fd83b3c0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Momspresso</a></span></td></tr></tbody></table><br /></li><li><b><u><a href="https://bhaarthi.blogspot.com/2021/03/why-solocation-can-rejuvenate-homemakers.html" target="_blank">Solocation</a></u></b>: Try going on a <a href="https://bhaarthi.blogspot.com/2021/03/why-solocation-can-rejuvenate-homemakers.html" target="_blank">solocation</a>, when possible. It really does wonders to self-care. Sometime in March I decided to go on a solocation, just to get away from the daily churn of things and came back after a relaxed couple of days and much more happier than how I left. My family also seemed to have benefited from my 2 days of absence. <br /><br /></li><li><b><u>Seek Professional Support</u></b>: While the above do help, there might be instances where they may not be enough. In such situations, there is always an option to seek professional help through personal/relationship/parenting counselling as the need is and ensure that your (above) efforts also have a backing of the scientific process that would fit your lifestyle, temperament, family & individual needs, and abilities. Make sure that you are seeking the right kind of professional support and not just getting some random advice from friendly neighbour, family member, or well-wisher who might not completely understand all the variables that need to be addressed in a specific manner for you and your loved ones to benefit from the same. </li></ol><p>Were(Are) you a primary caregiver & have similar or other coping mechanisms? Would love to hear about it from you.</p><p>This blog is part of <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" target="_blank">Blogchatter’s</a> <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/rules-and-regulations-to-participate-in-causeachatter" target="_blank">#CauseAChatter</a> challenge - <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-gender-beyond-bias-toward-equality" target="_blank">#GenderTalks</a> and <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-mental-health-together-towards-a-healthy-mind" target="_blank">#MentalHealthTalks</a>.</p>Aarthi Prabhakaranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09787880604451082866noreply@blogger.com0Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-15.227553636178845 45.114468400000007 41.392914036178844 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-74290170407677844352021-09-26T12:54:00.005+01:002021-09-26T12:54:39.183+01:00Eco-mindfulness through Home Gardening<p></p><div style="text-align: justify;">Being an ardent plant enthusiast & advocate of responsible living, in my perspective, the word <b>Sustainability</b> always brings up the twin word <b><a href="https://bhaarthi.blogspot.com/search/label/Mindfulness" target="_blank">Mindfulness</a></b>. <b>Home Gardening </b>(now taking shape as ‘Terrace Gardening’ or ‘Urban Farming’) has emerged as one such mindful hobby, that also contributes to sustainability in more than one way. As the pandemic added to the woes, my home garden was a blessing to help balance my health (mental, physical, and emotional), while keeping my sustainability goals. Happy to share the benefits I and my family reaped and pictures of my <b>Green Hobby </b>over the years!</div><p></p><h3 style="text-align: justify;">Natural Stressbuster <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5Ak65VXRYpY/YVBFwHDqf5I/AAAAAAAAC7A/iLre8M1lO38wK5vRmydyIfMI-i6QoqPUwCLcBGAsYHQ/s2000/Flower%2BCollage%2BPink%2BTulip.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><img alt="Blooms from my garden over a decade including Tulips & daffodils" border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="2000" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5Ak65VXRYpY/YVBFwHDqf5I/AAAAAAAAC7A/iLre8M1lO38wK5vRmydyIfMI-i6QoqPUwCLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h320/Flower%2BCollage%2BPink%2BTulip.jpg" title="Blooms from my garden over a decade including Tulips & daffodils" width="400" /></span></a></div></h3><p style="text-align: justify;">When you are stressed in your daily chores, I have heard many say that taking a quick walk bare foot on Earth and feeling the soil/grass, gives us a much-needed grounding to bounce back. Based on my personal experience, this statement is certainly true. When I am in my home garden, working on the preparation of the soil bed, and caring for the plants (with trimming, weeding and such activities), I lose myself among the calmness of Mother Nature and revel in its beauty and wonder. The green of the garden (among the rest of the colours) is also pleasing to the eyes & mind and has the capacity to calm every other raging emotions. The cool touch of wet earth/grass on my bare foot makes me want to take a deep breath that sends me a message of affirmation that everything is okay, and my Earth will keep me company all my life and embrace me beyond, eliminating the feeling of loneliness.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Also, when we have blooming flowers in our garden (specifically Tulips while in the US, Dahlia, Roses and others), the beauty of the different colours of bloom was like the garden was smiling at us. Never failed to bring a smile to our faces whatever we were feeling till that instant. </p><h3 style="text-align: justify;">Exhilaration of Creating</h3><p style="text-align: justify;">The same activities of making the garden bed and caring for the seeds/saplings sown that ground me also give me a high with a sense of exhilaration when I see the shrub/herb/tree flower, laden with fruits of labour and care. Makes me feel that I have done my job as a carer right for the ground and plant flourish. It is the same feeling of seeing your child grow and achieve. This plant/tree is in a sense my child as well. </p><h3 style="text-align: justify;">Good Health</h3><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PuVNNKHv2EE/YVBFyQlUk3I/AAAAAAAAC7I/ck8cB3Gxj34cFh3FF6D8lnu6Kksqcl08gCLcBGAsYHQ/s1999/IMG_20210511_174735.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img alt="My Home Garden Today" border="0" data-original-height="1999" data-original-width="1500" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PuVNNKHv2EE/YVBFyQlUk3I/AAAAAAAAC7I/ck8cB3Gxj34cFh3FF6D8lnu6Kksqcl08gCLcBGAsYHQ/w300-h400/IMG_20210511_174735.jpg" title="Backyard garden with flowers, fruits, and vegetables" width="300" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">When your home garden also bears vegetables and fruits, you enjoy the garden to fork experience that enables you to know that the food that you eat has been organically grown. There is also a sense of pride that this food was my effort from start (sowing it to start with) till the end (arriving as the edible dish that adorns the dining table). This also weighs much lesser on the expense pattern of the family as the monetary cost incurred in much less in comparison to a store-bought yield. </div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Gardening is the best combination of physical, mental, and emotional workout that you can ever have in one single activity. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">By staying outdoors, you are absorbing natural source of <a href="https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/vitamins-and-minerals/vitamin-d/#:~:text=Vitamin%20D%20helps%20regulate%20the,condition%20called%20osteomalacia%20in%20adults." rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Vitamin D</a> (directly from the Sun) that helps in strengthening of bones & immune system. This also <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/food-nutrition/benefits-vitamin-d#boosts-weight-loss" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">benefits weight loss as per some</a> and helps in reducing depression. Depending on the geographical location, make sure that you step out in the right kind of <a href="https://www.thenewsminute.com/article/puzzling-paradox-why-do-people-sunny-south-suffer-vitamin-d-deficiency-55709" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">sun to benefit</a> from it. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">The physical activities that you would involve in while gardening in activities like, prepping the garden bed, sowing, weeding, watering, trimming, cleaning debris & getting rid of pests, and finally reaping the fruits of this labour also helps in physical fitness and weight reduction as different parts of your body (and hence different muscles) are used. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">It can also be a family bonding activity that enhances the emotional connectedness of the family members, especially with the younger ones. While doing so, it also serves as a tool of destressing thereby bringing a holistic wellbeing for the entire family and understanding the science behind it. The same can be the case for an entire community, when you have an option for a <b>Community Garden</b>.</p><h3 style="text-align: justify;">A Sense of Agency & Empowerment</h3><p><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SZw1a2PqmKM/YVBFwqLpaOI/AAAAAAAAC7E/f10Tgz_MmlkBa0XTomv34VcR69Sv7uzhgCLcBGAsYHQ/s2000/Vegetable%2BGarden.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img alt="Vegetable Patches Over the years" border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="2000" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SZw1a2PqmKM/YVBFwqLpaOI/AAAAAAAAC7E/f10Tgz_MmlkBa0XTomv34VcR69Sv7uzhgCLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h320/Vegetable%2BGarden.jpg" title="Various Vegetables and fruits grown from Kitchen waste" width="400" /></a></p><div style="text-align: justify;">With all the above health benefits, it translates to a hidden reduction in the cost of maintaining the personal wellbeing through not just procurement costs but also through health care and hospitalisation cost being nullified in many cases, including the most seen one of Vit D deficiency that is to be repaired with the help of medicinal/serum supplements.</div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;">If you are maintaining a Community Farm (or your friends doing some organic farming ventures in their part-time), it can cater to the needs of the local community and more, by bringing in an additional source of income when you can find the buyers for your produce through your community network. When we can showcase these benefits, we inspire more people in our sustainability journey.</p><h3 style="text-align: justify;">Sustainability begins at home</h3><p style="text-align: justify;">In school I remember reading about the topsoil erosion and its impact on climate and environment. The easiest way to stop this is by growing grass native to our locality was the solution given in the textbook. Home garden is also a way by which every individual can contribute towards ending the topsoil erosion, maintain balance in water cycle (again a middle school concept), thereby positively impacting the climate change and leading to a more sustainable way of live for our next generations to survive on our planet earth.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">There are a lot more benefits than what I have listed above in having a home garden. Do share your take on the same in the comments.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">This blog is part of <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" target="_blank">Blogchatter’s</a> <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/rules-and-regulations-to-participate-in-causeachatter" target="_blank">#CauseAChatter</a> challenge - <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-environment-building-a-greener-today-and-tomorrow" target="_blank">#EnvironmentalTalks</a> and <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-mental-health-together-towards-a-healthy-mind" target="_blank">#MentalHealthTalks</a>. </p>Aarthi Prabhakaranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09787880604451082866noreply@blogger.com2Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-15.227553636178845 45.114468400000007 41.392914036178844 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-38364838424406520172021-09-08T18:43:00.005+01:002021-10-09T07:33:12.592+01:00Lockdown Chaos: Disparities for the Primary Caregivers (Part 1 of 2)<p style="text-align: justify;">One year after the first announcement of lockdown in India, I wrote a post on <a href="https://www.momspresso.com/user/2c1870eb3a4c4b5c85e4a170fd83b3c0" target="_blank">Momspresso</a> on the topic <a href="https://www.momspresso.com/parenting/parenting-with-pride/article/i-am-not-ok-as-well-amwritingnot-okay-mnxoqljzc41k" target="_blank"><b>I am not okay</b></a> as a weekly challenge prompt. While writing that blog was cathartic, the constant changes due to the COVID restrictions, the new variants of the virus, the uncertainty of this pandemic lifestyle comes back to haunt us a lot. In these uncertain times, when schools went online, and work came into my home, I lost my personal space & “Me-time” routines. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">As an EdTech & Life Skills Consultant, I worked from home for the most part of my work engagements, yet there was a routine to it. I would finish my work, when my family was away from home in school and office respectively. In fact, I would also squeeze in some self-care routines daily to keep my cool when the family returned home in the evening. In the last year+ my routines have gone for a toss including the family chores.</p><div style="text-align: justify;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-x77CSxS224o/YTl3QlGnYeI/AAAAAAAAC6c/mtMOudSAz2wIPx5LhyMCXks_SdN9WCwBQCLcBGAsYHQ/s2000/Pandemic%2Blifestyle.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="2000" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-x77CSxS224o/YTl3QlGnYeI/AAAAAAAAC6c/mtMOudSAz2wIPx5LhyMCXks_SdN9WCwBQCLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h320/Pandemic%2Blifestyle.png" width="400" /></a></div>The lack of routines, private space, and time for the primary caregiver (home maker) has also brought with it the focus on imbalanced division of labour within the home. While the home is everyone’s responsibility, most of the daily chores such as the upkeep of the house, inventory management & maintenance, bringing edible food to the table, catering to the never-ending snack requests of bored family members who do not understand or realise what goes into getting a quick bite-snack ready-to-consume leaves very little time for the primary caregiver for self-care and personal time. If this primary caregiver is also a part-time or full-time working person, then there is absolutely no time for anything else other than crossing out the to-do list from morning when they are awake till the time their body shuts down in exhaustion in the night. Add to this the fiasco of online school and the emotional toll that it has taken on the child’s psych and development. Not all schools and teachers are even partially trained to handle the nuances of online school along with the socio-emotional parameters that need to be given special care in this modality. </div><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Even in the so-called progressive homes where we celebrated equal participation, the pandemic showed that it really wasn’t the case. There was still quite a lot of imbalances where the primary care giver is implicitly expected to be the one to do the following:</p><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li style="text-align: justify;"><b>Plan & Provide for Breakfast, Lunch, & Dinner and the odd snacks</b>: Includes working with available resources inside home when there was strict lockdown, plan for refilling the dwindling supplies in the kitchen stock and be prepared for those uninformed requests of odd hour snacks because you couldn’t order in during the strict lockdown periods. This has a secondary problem of additional work of pots and pans being used, cleaned, and stored appropriately. There were days when domestic support was unavailable, and the family wasn’t even aware that they had to pitch in till either they were told or in some cases the caregiver had an emotional breakdown to bring to the attention of the family that (s)he needed help.</li><li style="text-align: justify;"><b>Teaching Assistant (TA)</b>: The unwritten expectation of being the TA even outside the lockdown was there, but the lockdown saw the primary caregiver huff and puff and juggle with the available time at hand to ensure that the child(ren) sat through the online class, did their homework and class works (that were usually done in school and hence was never on the caregiver responsibility plate), projects – specifically group projects follow up on WhatsApp and hangouts, revision before the continuous year-long assessments, and fill in for the lack of understanding that they have due to not being able follow the class due to internet connectivity and clarity on a regular basis. If an educated stay-at-home-parent finds this difficult, then we can only imagine the plight an un(der)educated parent or an educated-working-parent would have been through.</li><li style="text-align: justify;"><b>Routines</b>: They are always there for a very good reason. You know what to expect and hence you can plan for contingencies. This way even the rare case where something that wasn’t anticipated happens, we are able to cope. Pandemic saw to it that all routines went out the door when the entire family started staying indoors. Everyday was a new day, new pattern, and hence new adaptation. Change management usually has a peak (when emotions are at a high), lull (when we start questioning the purpose of the change), and a plateau (when we enjoy the new norm while we prepare ourselves) before the next change that is around the corner comes upon us. Unfortunately, pandemic did not give us this luxury. There were only peak after peak that leads to exhaustion due to emotional overdose. Even those who were emotional intelligence or mindfulness practitioners, the pandemic induced anxiety & uncertainty caught up with them, pushing almost everyone into a collective burn out.</li><li style="text-align: justify;"><b>Emotional Numbness</b>: The loss of job, finances, lifestyle, routines, lives of loved ones and otherwise, was too much that there has been a collective numbing of emotions in dealing with the grief that these loses usually trigger. Added to this was the inability to follow through with the mourning rituals due to the COVID restrictions. In the process of following the SMS protocols, despite the availability of technology to stay connected, the personal touch that is paramount in dealing with grief was missing. The losses also were quite sudden which rendered those affected by it in a state of shock. Without the support system and the rituals of handling grief most moved from shock to numbing of emotions as they did not know what else to do. The grief was either suppressed or repressed and we know what happens when either of the routes are taken without handling grief as it should be.</li><li style="text-align: justify;"><b>Domestic Violence, Child Marriage & Child Labour</b>: In some cases, with the entire family stuck indoors and no reprieve to reach for support there has been an increase in the cases of domestic violence. Loss of income and rise of expenses ended up in many getting their underage children to go to work or to get them married off (mostly girls). </li></ul><div style="text-align: justify;">These are just some of them among many such deviations from what we knew life as usual. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">While I enumerate the problems that contribute to the disruption of mental wellbeing of self and the family, what can we as individuals do to ensure our mental safety and that of our families in that order. <b>You can never pour from an empty cup</b>, which means the first need is to ensure our own mental and physical wellbeing. Will elaborate them in the <a href="https://bhaarthi.blogspot.com/2021/10/lockdown-chaos-coping-mechanisms-for.html" target="_blank">coping mechanisms</a> I benefitted from, in the <a href="https://bhaarthi.blogspot.com/2021/10/lockdown-chaos-coping-mechanisms-for.html" target="_blank">second part</a>. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Were you a primary caregiver & have similar or other experiences? Would love to hear about it from you.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">This blog is part of <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" target="_blank">Blogchatter’s</a> <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/rules-and-regulations-to-participate-in-causeachatter" target="_blank">#CauseAChatter</a> challenge - <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-gender-beyond-bias-toward-equality" style="text-align: left;" target="_blank">#GenderTalks</a> and <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-mental-health-together-towards-a-healthy-mind" target="_blank">#MentalHealthTalks</a>. Incidentally, <b>this is also my 100<sup><span face="Calibri, sans-serif" lang="EN-GB" style="line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">th</span></span></sup> blog</b>.</div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">You might also enjoy reading</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><ul><li><a href="https://bhaarthi.blogspot.com/2020/11/the-conundrum-of-gendered-glasses.html" target="_blank">The Conundrum of the Gendered Glasses</a></li><li><a href="https://bhaarthi.blogspot.com/2017/03/to-work-or-not-to-work-stay-at-home.html" target="_blank">To Work or not to Work? A Stay-At-Home-Mom's Perspective</a></li></ul></div>Aarthi Prabhakaranhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09787880604451082866noreply@blogger.com0Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-15.227553636178845 45.114468400000007 41.392914036178844 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-48983458300470887492021-08-18T14:55:00.003+01:002021-08-19T14:48:36.700+01:00My strides with a Great Humanitarian<p style="text-align: justify;">I fondly remember my <a href="https://bhaarthi.blogspot.com/2006/01/great-man-mrsubrahmanyam-my.html" target="_blank"><b>Grandfather</b></a> telling me ‘There is no war that love can’t win!’ during my early childhood. He always said “love trumps all” and I grew up seeing him walk his talk. Anytime I hear the word <b>Humanity</b> or <b>Humanitarianism</b>, he is the first person who flashes in front of my eyes. Humanity is non-existent without the feeling & expressing the all-encompassing emotion of love. In 1995, his death showed me the true power of leading life as a humanitarian. His death ceremony saw countless people from every corner of Tamil Nadu, travel in-person to Chennai, to pay their last respects to the family. Every memory they shared had one common thread about his humanitarian touch, that benefited the person or their family in their time of dire needs. In his life (and his death), he showed me the importance of being humane and placing love, humanity, dignity, and respect above all else. </p><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RozL5uRSdz4/YR0NCmpWyOI/AAAAAAAApoI/gloPU4oGTLMxNDfsK0XyihzH0Jb1depbQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1440/Subrahmanyam.jpeg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: justify;"><img alt="My grandfather Subrahmanyam" border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1080" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RozL5uRSdz4/YR0NCmpWyOI/AAAAAAAApoI/gloPU4oGTLMxNDfsK0XyihzH0Jb1depbQCLcBGAsYHQ/w300-h400/Subrahmanyam.jpeg" title="A collage of my grandfather Subrahmanyam" width="300" /></a></div><div style="text-align: justify;">His words and actions had a huge impact on my childhood development and still have a huge role to play as an adult. As I have said in my earlier <a href="https://bhaarthi.blogspot.com/2006/01/great-man-mrsubrahmanyam-my.html" target="_blank">article</a> about him, he is one of my role models, who I aspire to be like and strive to be so every day.</div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">These early childhood lessons have stayed with me and fuelled my passion for behavioural science and the curiosity of ‘why people do what they do’ started taking shape. I realised that what he said about humanity, dignity and mutual respect was the basis for removing all the suffering that we go through in our life. Underneath all our yearnings, these are the core needs that drive us to do everything to belong somewhere and have an identity that will be looked upon with respect and be celebrated. Unfortunately, we fail to realise that we are looking for it in the wrong places. </div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">These principles as the foundation, my actions always centre towards understanding perspectives of people (including my own – I am my own critique as I look inwards a lot), the underlying belief systems that drive their action, and the toxic patterns that contribute to the suffering. My four decades of learning from various experiences and people resulted in my sharing it with everyone around me in any form I could. Technology helped me do it in multiple ways. </div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">I now run my own life skills colloquium – <b><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-journey-changemakers-aarthi-prabhakaran/" target="_blank">ChangeMakers</a> </b>– for teens and young adults focussing on these topics and a few more including self-awareness, mindfulness, inclusion, conditioning, mental health, and sustainability. My blogging under the <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/rules-and-regulations-to-participate-in-causeachatter" target="_blank">#CauseAChatter</a> quarterly challenge for <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" target="_blank">Blogchatter </a>under the headings - <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-gender-beyond-bias-toward-equality" target="_blank">#GenderTalks</a>, <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-mental-health-together-towards-a-healthy-mind" target="_blank">#MentalHealthTalks</a>, & <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-environment-building-a-greener-today-and-tomorrow" target="_blank">#EnvironmentalTalks</a> is yet another way. I personally think that all these three are important and essential causes for sustainable change management to be a reality. The #GenderTalks is a place where you find people writing on anything to do with Gender, Gender Identity, Gender (In)Equality and Unconscious Gender Bias. We all know that there is no wellbeing without #mental wellbeing and hence the importance of it can’t be stressed enough. For sustainability to be a reality, these two, working hand in hand with the #environmental impact of our actions also need to be dealt with in detail for us to leave behind something that our next generation can work with. I did write with a purpose (of sharing my learning for the larger group, with the hope of impacting a positive mindset shift that celebrates a learning and growth mindset, rather than the outcome itself) even before I became part of the <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Blogchatter</a> <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/rules-and-regulations-to-participate-in-causeachatter" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">challenge</a>, but this gave me more discipline to be regular and group it under a specific cause. </div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">Over the years, and from my multiple international relocations across the US & Europe, I have come to understand that I would be content (in fact, excited) when my identity is associated with my humanitarian aspects rather than the other attributes that generally people use to define an individual’s identity. This is what has always found me contributing to local causes in all the places that I have resided. When in the USA, I was part of the <b>Parents-as-Teacher</b> programme, run by the local community centre being trained about child & development psychology that is essential for any young parents. When we lived in France, I facilitated many immigrant parents with the help of the structure of this programme, as part of the PTA of an International school. During our recent stay in the UK, I volunteered at a local community centre, that positively impacted immigrant and asylum seekers from war-torn countries. I developed training programmes that would help them in their acclimatising process and help them with basic skills to enhance their job readiness. This help</div><div style="text-align: justify;">ed them find suitable work that would keep them financially stable to support their family. </div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">I also work with many NGOs that focus on child education, as a tutor and courseware developer. I believe that education is the way to break the shackles of poverty and ignorance and the gateway to developing an informed and equal society for all. </div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">On this World Humanitarian Day, I could not think of a better person to write about than my Grandfather, who shaped me and the way I think & work today. The beauty about the journey of life is that it is filled with learnings & enriching experiences and Humanity is the means of making it more fulfilling. As I found my calling with my Grandfather, I would love to hear from each of you on your stories from your journey. </div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">This post is part of <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" target="_blank">Blogchatter's</a> <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/rules-and-regulations-to-participate-in-causeachatter" target="_blank">#CauseAChatter</a> <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-mental-health-together-towards-a-healthy-mind" target="_blank">#MentalHealthTalks</a>. </div>Aarthi Bharathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13590058855322273744noreply@blogger.com4Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-15.227553636178845 45.114468400000007 41.392914036178844 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-49361323003731124032021-06-28T18:23:00.002+01:002021-06-29T10:50:01.469+01:00Can Success be a Stressor?<div style="text-align: justify;">There are many definitions of success. In this mad rush to achieve success (any extrinsic definition that we choose) we forget that true success is only intrinsic. The feeling of being content is what enables you to enjoy the pleasure of success and revel in it. Else, the celebration of success is truly short-lived, temporary. Does this definition of success make you curious? Then read on. </div><div style="text-align: justify;">Consider yourself in these scenarios:</div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li style="text-align: justify;">A 6 yr old comes home carrying a trophy for winning in their school running competition, and the whole house goes berserk about the victory. Everyone says he/she is a born-champion and shows a promising attitude for a bright as an Athlete!</li><li style="text-align: justify;">A 14 yr old brings home a bigger trophy for football (or co-curricular activity for that matter), while he/she is an Average scorer in academics. Now, what would you think the reaction would be at home?</li><li style="text-align: justify;">A 17yr old boy wants to choose Fine arts, Fashion Designing, Literature, or any such ‘soft subject’ as his career path starting with UG, while a 17 yr old girl says she wishes to join the Armed forces, Political science, Mechanical/Automobile Engineering or any such ‘hard subject’ as her career path. Now how would we define success for them?</li></ul><div style="text-align: justify;">In all the above scenarios, how do you think the reaction of the family around that child, impact their self-image and their definition of success among other things? What do you think happens to the curiosity quotient (that is found in abundance in their early development years) as the child grows up?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So, do we say the 6yr was successful while the 14yr and 17yr are struggling? </div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1A2NSEpwmGk/YNmWQuh3qeI/AAAAAAAApM0/QjSgXU6XMBQCBwFDotuS5qEwhkU62l4qACLcBGAsYHQ/s1280/Success-Watermarked.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Success Definitions Image" border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="360" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1A2NSEpwmGk/YNmWQuh3qeI/AAAAAAAApM0/QjSgXU6XMBQCBwFDotuS5qEwhkU62l4qACLcBGAsYHQ/w640-h360/Success-Watermarked.png" title="Success Definitions Image" width="640" /></a></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/success" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">dictionary</a> defines success as a measure of succeeding. And to <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/succeed" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">succeed</a> means to turn out well or to attain a desired object or end. Narrowing the scope of this definition to students, we have reduced the measure of success for a student in relation to their rank/order.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">For a long time, this is how success has been measured. Yet time and again we have questioned this mode of measuring. Though being on the top gives a momentary feeling of elation and achievement, after a short while, many of them feel a void. Their search for something else begins. Many end up with mental agony, stress because they are unable to understand the reason behind this void and mindless search. The story does not end here. When the world sees the person who has succeeded, they are usually subject to harsh criticism. Success brings with it a level of fame as well and this also adds to the stress for the individual, especially due to the breach in their privacy.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">Many successful adults are lost after they reach their set goal (as defined by this world, which they also assumed as theirs). To quote a few examples district / state first rank holders in higher secondary. Toppers of JEEE, University toppers… What happened to them after this achievement? Can we name at least a few of them from past few years? I am sure like me you are shrugging your shoulder! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I grew up with friends who would parrot their parents’ dream as though it was theirs. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">‘I want to become a Doctor’ or an Engineer… </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The moment I ask the question. ‘Why?’ there would either be a never-ending pause or a spontaneous response ‘That is what is in demand. Once I finish my studies, I will be job-ready, and start earning a five-figure salary and lead a peaceful life.’ (parroted response).</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I am sure you are now wondering what I did when my friends were doing this. My goal as a school-going kid was to get into BITS, Pilani. The reason was, of course, partially parroting the elders in my life ‘You will learn to live independently.’ Hostel life was romanticised in my family and I am glad that this was what was romanticised and not the placement figures. When I did get into BITS, I was sent with the advice ‘Learn about self, time, and financial management.’ </div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><h3 style="text-align: justify;">How else can success look like? </h3></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">For me, rewards & trophies (extrinsic) were/are never the definition of success. I am not against anyone participating in competitions nor winning certificates of merit/honour. Even today at 40, I participate in competitions, but now it is more to experiment rather than to prove my abilities (to myself/the world). </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Success and failure for me are similar with each giving their own lessons for us to take away. Anu Hasan’s note to self was something I agree to</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">‘Do not let your success go to your head and your failure to your heart’</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">Success needs to be responded to with genuine gratitude from the heart, while failure needs to be analysed and lessons learned, using the head. And this is what has been driving my actions. As a child, I was not able to put in words this phenomenon. Now, I am able to, thanks to all the continuous learning that I have done in so many years! I believe that failure is one of the main ingredients for success.</div><div style="text-align: justify;">So, this opens the scope of defining success and lets each one of us make a personalised definition of what success means to us. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I define success for me, as having a purpose, working towards it while continuously evaluating progress learning along the way, being content that I am headed in the right direction towards my goal. Once I reach my goal, I define another purpose and hence another goal to achieve. How do I do this? The key driver is, to be and do better than what I have been and have done so far. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">As my family likes to fondly say, my bar is never a stagnant one. It keeps changing. And I agree, but it changes as per my norms and needs. I also urge my family to do the same and I am happy and content that in my first circle of influence (family) I have been able to bring this mindset shift within each member of my family. It gives me hope that this disturbance that I have created in a still pond as far as mindset is concerned, will have its ripple effect, and hope that someday maybe even create a Tsumani – a major mindset shift, among the future generations. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">This mindset shift will bring an intrinsic view on the success required motivation. It will also eliminate the stress that is currently a package deal with the measure of extrinsically driven success definition. As we say, the comparison now becomes apple with apple (yesterday’s self with today’s self) rather than an apple with orange/tomato/beet! </div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">This thought as a seed and a few more ideas from other members of my alumni group, resulted in the creation of an amazing panel discussion titled '<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tW4AakEy14" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><b>The Imperfect Me!</b></a>', that attempts to discuss these things and more, focusing on developing an individualistic outlook towards life’s challenges and come up with our own mantras for leading a life, that includes positive mental health as well. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Now that you have read my take/perspective on success/failure, their definitions, and roles, I would love to hear your point of view on success, failure, and associated stress and anxiety to perform and prove!</div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">This post is part of <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" target="_blank">Blogchatter's</a> <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/rules-and-regulations-to-participate-in-causeachatter" target="_blank">#CauseAChatter</a> <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-mental-health-together-towards-a-healthy-mind" target="_blank">#MentalHealthTalks</a>. </div>Aarthi Bharathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13590058855322273744noreply@blogger.com6Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-15.227553636178845 45.114468400000007 41.392914036178844 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-38392354035436681932021-06-05T05:19:00.002+01:002021-06-05T18:08:31.315+01:00Four Shopping Habits to Avoid for Sustainable Living<p>My first blog on the series of <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/rules-and-regulations-to-participate-in-causeachatter" target="_blank">#CauseAChatter</a> by <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" target="_blank">Blogchatter</a> under the <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-environment-building-a-greener-today-and-tomorrow" target="_blank">#EnvironmentalTalks</a> was <a href="https://bhaarthi.blogspot.com/2021/03/baby-steps-towards-sustainable-living.html" target="_blank"><b>Baby steps towards Sustainable Living</b></a>. While it is easy to read and write about such topics, to really incorporate it as a lifestyle, takes a huge level of commitment from self and the ability to lead by example. This will help to positively impact our circle of influence to follow our lead, especially when we have members from two or three generations (older or younger). </p>While it took us a few years to instill these concepts in all our family members, we did start our journey with the <b>#NeedvsWant</b> discussions at home. Any buying decision being considered, big or small, including the weekly grocery list and vegetables, always went through this filter. This has become so much a part of our lives that even our children use this for validating their wish list! When you do not buy in excess or something that may not be used at all, then the waste generated automatically reduces at source, thereby doing our part in contributing towards maintaining a healthy environment for our future generations. <p></p><p>Here are four habits on how to achieve sustainable living and helping to potentially reduce waste generation at source:</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3v2NKEfmpnc/YLr3JQDfEOI/AAAAAAAApIA/dnwYroLnx3okt_up8wvJLq9zgL0Y6RSAgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1280/Shopping%2BHabits%2Bto%2BAvoid%2B-%2BWatermarked.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Shopping Collage from our personal travel memories" border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="360" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3v2NKEfmpnc/YLr3JQDfEOI/AAAAAAAApIA/dnwYroLnx3okt_up8wvJLq9zgL0Y6RSAgCLcBGAsYHQ/w640-h360/Shopping%2BHabits%2Bto%2BAvoid%2B-%2BWatermarked.jpg" title="Shopping Collage from our personal travel memories" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p><b>Unplanned Shopping</b></p><p>Planning, and sticking to the plan as much as possible under any circumstances helps to keep our expense pattern and our purchase pattern under our control, which in turn results in lesser waste generation as we are anyway buying only what we need and will use.</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Always have a shopping list and try not to deviate from this list. </li><li>Make the shopping list after taking stock of what you have at home. Only include the necessities on the list. </li><li>When you have an urge to shop any additional items, evaluate the #NeedvsWant e.g. you can add an additional snack that your children may enjoy, but not overstock them.</li></ul><p></p><p><b>Stress Shopping</b></p><p>I have had some of my friends call me for a day out shopping as a stress relief activity. This, I think, is an extremely costly and ineffective way to relieve stress. There are more efficient and effective methods of stress relief that include, exercise, practicing mindfulness (processing emotions, meditation), Yoga, gardening, and many more. </p><p>Shopping is never a stress-buster activity. When it is for just the necessities, it contributes towards reduced waste generation at source and is light on our finances as well. </p><p>A good alternative to stress shopping could be window shopping (no actual purchases) or moving items to an online Wishlist (instead of the shopping cart) to be reconsidered later. These are only temporary fixes. The best would be to work on addressing the root cause of the stress and completely remove it.</p><p><b>Extravagant Shopping</b></p><p>Buying items to keep the projected image of a social stature is another fallacy that would weigh heavily on our finances as well as the waste of resources and probably contribute to higher waste creation. The status definers, like trends, keep changing quite frequently, and keeping up with it might eventually even add to the stress in your life. </p><p>Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) should never be a driver for shopping. If you shop to stay in trend, understand that in the current times, trends change every day, sometimes twice in a single day. When we base our purchase decisions to stay in line with trends, we will always be part of a game of catch-up, wasting our time, money, and resources and still not be in trend more often. All the ‘out of trend’ items pile onto the waste / useless stuff. </p><p><b>Indulgent Shopping</b> </p><p>I fail to see the difference between this and stress shopping, but I have had advice coming my way that I should sometimes indulge myself in shopping to treat myself. I have never seen a point to this, especially when this indulgent behaviour is only a temporary fix to any problem or a mere few minutes/hours of happiness. In the long run, you will probably regret the decision of purchase, especially when it gets added to the growing pile of unused items. </p><p>My way of indulging is different, I guess. For me, anything to do with mindfulness and sustainability is to indulge. I enjoy finding new ways to positively contribute to my family’s cost-saving and waste reduction effort, and try and do my bit towards positively impacting the society at large as well.</p><p><b>We aren’t Minimalistic</b></p><p>I wouldn’t categorise ourselves at minimalistic standards. Our conscious choices on purchase decisions indulging in Need vs Want debates have made our buying pattern moderate. This helped especially during the pandemic lockdown times as we were always aware of what was needed for our family, what was available in our stock, and when we needed to replenish them by how much. </p><p>This enables us, as a family, to stay away from panic buying and judiciously work with the available stock till we could add more to it when we were allowed to. Lockdown restrictions only meant adjusting to the store timings rather than feeling constricted or afraid that we would not have enough.</p><p>I hope that these not-so-healthy shopping practices that we learned to tackle over the years would serve as a starting point of your self-explorative journey towards sustainable shopping habits that can also contribute to a better and healthy environment (by saving on resources and reducing waste generation at source) & better use of our personal finances. </p><p>This post is part of <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" target="_blank">Blogchatter's</a> <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/rules-and-regulations-to-participate-in-causeachatter" target="_blank">#CauseAChatter</a> - <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-environment-building-a-greener-today-and-tomorrow">#EnvironmentalTalks</a></p>Aarthi Bharathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13590058855322273744noreply@blogger.com0Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-15.227553636178845 45.114468400000007 41.392914036178844 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-56635906664648031672021-06-02T12:28:00.007+01:002021-06-03T12:39:12.386+01:00The Radiance of a Thousand Suns - Manreet Sodhi Someshwar<p>A one-liner before I delve deep into this book – I agree with what Gulzar sir has given as a caption for the book ‘Has the radiance of Blood and the Sun’. </p><div><div>I won this book for posting a comment on an Author live session on <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" target="_blank">Blogchatter</a> – <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/blogchatter-online-festivals" target="_blank">#BlogchatterWritFest</a> – in March 2021. </div></div><div><br /></div><div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bDUuLp0Bxqg/YLdbahqhdQI/AAAAAAAApFg/qz72bqsR0l8XkAhb1mwDgNThF4zneYR8gCLcBGAsYHQ/s1280/The%2BRadiance%2Bof%2Ba%2BThousand%2BSuns%2B-%2BCover%2BPage.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="883" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bDUuLp0Bxqg/YLdbahqhdQI/AAAAAAAApFg/qz72bqsR0l8XkAhb1mwDgNThF4zneYR8gCLcBGAsYHQ/w448-h640/The%2BRadiance%2Bof%2Ba%2BThousand%2BSuns%2B-%2BCover%2BPage.jpg" width="448" /></a></div>While I have read many storylines with a woman as the protagonist (starting with Nancy Drew & Alice in Wonderland, during my school days), this book was completely different to read and connect emotionally as well. In fact, the narrative of the entire masterpiece was so well interwoven from the point of view of different women who had different lived experiences and strong in their own sense of being, to bring about change in the societal narratives, in their own ways. </div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>I was floored by the author’s take on <b>Violence and Silence</b> in that order while bringing out women-centric narratives on the <b>1947 partition of India </b>and the <b>1984 Anti-Sikh riots</b>. Violence always leaves a deep gash not just physically, but also emotionally, that takes probably generations to even become a scar. Healing would take forever, as the grief that violence leaves behind is just too heavy to process and handle any faster. </div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>In a conversation between a grandmother and a granddaughter (who lost her mother at birth – a story of gross negligence due to misplaced priorities – read the book to know more on this), the grandmother, Biji, talks about a metaphor of all women invisibly pregnant, carrying inside them millions of stories to tell, yet silent and hence yet to deliver. This metaphor was just mind-blowing and so well relatable, especially as chapters unfolded and story after story showed why women chose to remain invisibly pregnant. Even today many of us choose this path for the exact same reasons. Wish it were not so. Reading this book strengthened my resolve to use my voice and writing to break that vicious cycle of pregnant silence and bring out narratives from the point of view of a woman if not for the world, at least to my circle of influence and create a shift in the way things have been traditionally valued and acted upon, some of which are so outdated and devoid of logic. </div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>The entire book speaks volumes on various coping mechanisms that women have traditionally practiced dealing with violence, trauma, idiocy, and more, of this patriarchally structured society, including <b>memory holes</b> that are so relevant even during the <b>#metoo </b>movement where the trauma of rape, sexual abuse (especially Child Sexual Abuse – CSA) and harassment follows this pattern of a <b>non-event </b>because the society wants to erase the unpleasantness of such occurrences. By making them non-events and not recording them in the narrative of history/news, we, as a society, tend to forget the event completely, a few days (probably months) after its occurrence. This gives rise to invisible people – the <b>unperson</b> – those who were silent sufferers of the traumatic actions meted out by perpetrators (whether it is war or abuse) - one such story is that of <b>Jyot</b> a survivor of both these traumatic incidents. </div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>I could never relate to the heroic narratives of 1947 and 1984 as part of recorded history, without feeling the pain, suffering, and the feeling of emptiness when the question invariably popped ‘What was the point of all these?’. This book brings to light why I kept feeling that emptiness and why that question kept popping. Despite not being close to the places where these two historic traumatic events happened, it still has a wrenching effect in my gut. I can only imagine how much it must have hurt those who were strongly associated with these events in any form. </div><div><br /></div><div>The first few chapters that dealt with the 1947 partition narratives/perspectives, from the point of view of women and girl children were overwhelmingly traumatic to read without breaks. Yet they were descriptive enough for anyone who reads it to see what a woman/girl saw from her point of view. </div><div><br /></div><div>This book needs to be read by everyone to understand a woman’s point of view of how it is to be considered as an invisible being or as an object of possession every time a man wanted to prove his superiority! It also would serve well to be reminded that in doing so there is no manliness that is depicted, but only the childish aggression of patriarchy is exhibited, showing how immature the entire concept itself is. Women always bounce back to move on with life irrespective of the bad cards they might be dealt, not by life itself, but by the idiocrasy exhibited in name of patriarchy, religion, caste, gender, race, and more! This proves their high emotional intelligence – either developed by force of situational demands or by design and their ability to heal themselves and the world around them every single time, till it becomes too much for them to bear (the inter-generational trauma - which also is beautifully depicted through the book).</div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>The radiance of the narrative by author Manreet Sodhi Someshwar is blindingly bright to go through all filtered glasses worn. </div></div><div><br /></div><div>This post is part of <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/rules-and-regulations-to-participate-in-causeachatter" target="_blank">Blogchatter's #CauseAChatter</a> - <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-gender-beyond-bias-toward-equality" target="_blank">#GenderTalks</a></div>Aarthi Bharathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13590058855322273744noreply@blogger.com0Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-15.227553636178845 45.114468400000007 41.392914036178844 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-82071795900741282742021-04-25T18:11:00.001+01:002021-04-25T18:13:34.021+01:00My happenstance with a Postgraduate Autowala<p>In my home, I and my 10-year-old son needed to calm our nerves for the benefit of the entire family. Both of us were stressed and showing signs of anxiety and attention-seeking behaviour for various reasons though. He craved social interaction in the structured school environment that helped in channelising his high energy into constructive tasks as part of the school day. With online classes, the individual connection with the teacher was lost and hence his attention too (from both directions). </p><div><div>I decided to bring in a few changes in lifestyle by going back to the roots – bringing yoga as our daily routine was something, I was willing to try for both of us. I was glad that my son gladly agreed as he wanted to eventually get to, doing a headstand.</div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>It was a Sunday afternoon in the last week of March 2021, almost a year after the first lockdown was announced in India for tackling the spread of COVID 19 pandemic. I had booked my in-person appointment with my college junior, who was a KYM certified Yoga professional who is practicing for at least a decade now, explaining both our requirements. She wanted the first session to be in person where she could evaluate us to understand our body types before coming up with a yoga routine. I booked an OLA auto and was waiting for it to arrive. </div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>My phone rang. It was the OLA auto driver, Annamalai. I answered the call. He asked me, ‘Is the pickup location the right one?’ in grammatically perfect English. I almost started answering back in Tamil, but then held back the urge and responded in English, to the surprise of my husband. He then asked me where I was headed, and I gave him that location as well. In five minutes, he came to pick us up. </div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>As soon as we started moving, my curiosity overtook my usual silence during rides, and I started my conversation with him asking my first question! Of course, this conversation was in Tamil after asking him if he knew the language but let me elaborate in English to share the flow of the conversation for the benefit of those who do not speak the language.</div></div><div><br /></div><div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--CkM-aSRmkI/YIWh3odU8dI/AAAAAAAAov4/6BY_C6xcty8CNtHxdcmBys9Ss2A4siGAACLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/Annamalai%2B-%2BOla%2BAuto%2Bdriver%2Bwith%2Ba%2BPG%2B-%2BWatermarked.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1110" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--CkM-aSRmkI/YIWh3odU8dI/AAAAAAAAov4/6BY_C6xcty8CNtHxdcmBys9Ss2A4siGAACLcBGAsYHQ/w346-h640/Annamalai%2B-%2BOla%2BAuto%2Bdriver%2Bwith%2Ba%2BPG%2B-%2BWatermarked.jpg" width="346" /></a></div>‘Is this role as an OLA auto driver, part-time?’</div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>‘Yes Ma’am. How did you guess right?’ he responded.</div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>‘You do not usually find auto drivers who speak English with the perfect grammar of the language. So, I assumed you were one among the many who enjoyed being Ola drivers part-time maybe because they loved to drive. What is your primary profession?’</div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>‘I am a driver for the DCP of Chennai Police. I started that job just when the pandemic started in India. I studied Microbiology. I was a research professional working on the COVID 19 virus analysis and discovery to hasten the process to tackle its spread.’</div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>I was floored by this information bomb he dropped. I just wanted to confirm what I already knew. So, I asked him, ‘PG or UG in Microbiology?’ and I got PG as a response. He continued, ‘I resigned from my job because everyone at home was very tensed that I was working under high-risk conditions and were worried for my safety and life. I decided that my family’s peace was important and only if I am alive can I give that to them. That instantaneous shift was enough for me to take that call, but life had to go on, and being the sole breadwinner of the family, I had to bring money to run my household. I decided to do any job that I could and that is how I joined as the personal driver for DC of Police for weekdays. With his financial support and my own savings, I bought this auto for my weekend and weekday evening income that will supplement my income from the day job.’</div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>I was could not stop myself asking such an enterprising person sporting a positive outlook, ‘Couldn’t you take up teaching profession in Microbiology itself in colleges or move into a schoolteacher role? With the school moving to the online model, there is a need for teachers who can work with ease in adopting technology in their teaching style and engage the students through the tech platform and still make the class interesting and interactive.’</div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>Without skipping a beat, in a matter-of-fact manner, he answered, ‘Yes. That is the next plan once things settle down. Currently, with so much uncertainty, it is difficult to land such a job immediately. Also, schools and colleges are running short of funds due to the sudden closure and economic slump. When all this starts changing, I will surely go down that road. Till then, I need a source of income and I took up a job that I knew how to do. It isn’t right to keep waiting for the right opportunity and not do anything to support my family which also needs to be cared for. Being an OLA driver pays me well too to support as my main income. Once I find myself a job of my wish, I plan to give this auto to my friend who can continue to ride and pay me a commission for renting my auto. This will supplement my income as well in the long run.’</div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>I ended the conversation with a request to take a picture of him when I got off at my drop point, for which he readily agreed. My son had started to doze off by then. My yoga instructor’s place was a 45-minute ride from my place. I could sense that there was a smile plastered on my face. I was in awe of his attitude and his simplistic approach to life. </div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>We reached just in time for my appointment. I took his picture as requested and agreed (during the ride) when I got off. The entire ride he wore his mask and did not remove it at all. I thanked him and we went our separate ways. My son asked me why I took his picture, and I was glad that he asked. I narrated the whole thing to him. I also highlighted the small gestures that he exhibited right from</div></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>The first conversation over the call in English showed that he was open for a customer who was not a local and may not understand the local language.</li><li>Strictly adhering to the COVID 19 protocols (including covering his nose and mouth for the entire ride) during the entire ride despite the scorching heat during the middle of the day.</li><li>His change-embracing mindset during adversity, picking up a job that pays him on a regular basis, till he finds the ideal job for his qualifications or a job that his heart seeks out. </li><li>His far-thinking ability to plan for the distant future too without being clouded by the current challenges.</li><li>Most important of all, finding dignity of labour in anything that he is doing as a profession, an abundance mindset, and extending an empathetic approach to anyone and everyone in his life.</li></ul><div>That day, I learned my lesson of gratitude, thankful for such chance encounters that life gives me through everyday happenings, where I have ample opportunities to find role models in everyday people. I learn about the right mindset, practical applications of theories that I studied as part of my degree, and skilling courses, perspectives, and a positive attitude. All this eventually ends in healthy mental wellbeing as we have life lessons in the form of narratives and incidents stored for future references.</div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>Do you have any such everyday inspiration story from your life? I would love to hear them, expand my perspectives, and hopefully enable others who read me to benefit from the varied stories that I can share!</div></div><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">This blog is part of the <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/" target="_blank">Blogchatter</a> <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/rules-and-regulations-to-participate-in-causeachatter" target="_blank">#CauseAChatter</a> challenge under the <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-mental-health-together-towards-a-healthy-mind" target="_blank">#MentalHealthTalks</a> section.</p></div>Aarthi Bharathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13590058855322273744noreply@blogger.com0Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-15.227553636178845 45.114468400000007 41.392914036178844 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-34382733332918761792021-03-25T10:30:00.001+00:002021-03-25T10:36:27.706+00:00Baby Steps Towards Sustainable Living<p>2019 marked the ban of single-use plastics followed by waste segregation at source as a Government initiative in many states. In our gated community in Chennai, we decided to create a task force for the same. The task force was responsible for strategizing the various methods of execution of this Government directive at the community level and individual residents’ level. While waste segregation is one aspect of waste management, the fundamental aspect of it is understanding of the 3 R’s – Reduce, Reuse & Recycle</p><p>With sustainability practices gaining the needed attention in recent times to combat the climate change threat, awareness around waste management has increased as well. There are many surveys and articles on the Internet that highlight the volumes of waste that are generated worldwide and the damage that it contributes to the planet Earth. While Government can strategize and launch various initiatives to deal with this menace, it is paramount that we as individuals do our part in implementing them, starting from our own homes. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DQsGOUD5qB0/YFxiCd1QGcI/AAAAAAAAofo/JQ_0p8hQvAst7RDI-wLyWk0IWzPkdVKWQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1920/Reuse.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Home garden and Sustainable options" border="0" data-original-height="1043" data-original-width="1920" height="347" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DQsGOUD5qB0/YFxiCd1QGcI/AAAAAAAAofo/JQ_0p8hQvAst7RDI-wLyWk0IWzPkdVKWQCLcBGAsYHQ/w640-h347/Reuse.jpg" title="DIY Sustainable options at our home" width="640" /></a></div><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">How do you Reduce?</h3><p>Let me share with you what I did (with my spouse’s support) as a lifestyle choice in my home. Any time there is a buying decision being considered, including the weekly grocery list and vegetables for home, the one pivoting point for the buying decision is always #NeedvsWant. This is what drives every buying decision in our home, even the children are now able to use this for their wish list! I wouldn’t categorise us at minimalistic standards, but our moderate buying has been quite effective for at least a few years now, even before the Covid19-induced lockdown initiated this process for many. For us, the lockdown only meant adjusting to the store timings rather than feeling constricted. Here are a few tips on how we achieved this:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>We always have a shopping list and rarely do we deviate from the list. </li><li>Shopping is never a stress buster. Even if this is true for some, I would urge that, purchase decisions while shopping, should not be under duress (FOMO – Fear of missing out), but a conscious and evaluated decision based on need vs want. Window shopping or moving items an online Wishlist (instead of the shopping cart) can be alternatives, if you are a compulsive shopper, though I would recommend that you work on addressing the root cause of what is stressing you in the first place to remove stress from life rather than going on a shopping spree</li><li>Status symbols were never a motivator for our buying decisions. </li><li>Indulgent shopping is also something we never subscribed to.</li></ul><p></p><div><h3 style="text-align: left;">What do we Reuse?</h3><div><br /></div><div>The benefit of reusing can be seen in reduction as well and contributes automatically to cost savings as well. </div></div><div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>We have had multiple relocations and where we could, we reused our old functional furniture and fixtures with no replacements. </li><li>We also use the plastic bottles from the kitchen as a makeshift pot for seeds/plants, DIY pencil/pen stands. </li><li>Old worn clothes get upcycled as wash clothes for cleaning the kitchen counter, tables, fans, appliances, and mirrors. This has helped in reducing the purchase of paper kitchen towels and tissues.</li><li>I make stripes from them that are used as make-shift ropes when needed. It has been a while since I stopped buying ropes and zip-tie to hold things in place. </li></ul></div></div><h3 style="text-align: left;">How can we Recycle?</h3><div><br /></div><div>As a practice, we have different bins inside our home, and everyone knows what kind of waste goes into which bins. There is one bin just for plastics and one for papers. These are then given to the wastepaper person in exchange for money. Money so earned goes into the kitty of want. When we can save enough to satisfy a specific reasonable want that all of us agree upon, this money is used. </div><div><div><br /></div><div>We also have a wet waste bin that only collects kitchen waste that can be converted into organic compost. </div></div><div><br /></div><div><h3 style="text-align: left;">What do I achieve by doing all this?</h3><div><br /></div><div>The personal satisfaction that I am doing my share to reduce the waste generation and thereby impacting the waste management process positively and contributing to keeping the environment a little less polluted. I also bring ‘cost saving’ due to the reduction and recycling that I have implemented as a practice in my home. With simple reusing methods, I further reduce the generation of waste from my home, thereby doing my bit towards the green revolution. </div><div><br /></div><div>Added to all this, we also have a home garden and the water that is removed from our fish tank is used to water the plants thereby recycling water as well. The plants also get natural manure from this water as it is rich with fish excreta. Growing kitchen vegetables as part of our home garden, we also benefit from ‘garden to fork’ produce and enjoy a fresh, tasty meal without the fear of pesticides and chemicals, occasionally. </div><div><br /></div><div>I am hoping that as you finish reading this, you have been able to take some practical pointers on what you can implement in your life to develop sustainable practices that will not only benefit the environment but will immensely be satisfying for you personally as well for being a positive contributor to personal and financial well-being as well as the environment.</div></div><div><br /></div><div>This post is part of <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/">Blogchatter's</a> <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/rules-and-regulations-to-participate-in-causeachatter">#CauseAChatter</a> - <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-environment-building-a-greener-today-and-tomorrow">Environmental Talks</a></div><div class="ms-editor-squiggler" style="-webkit-app-region: initial; 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column-fill: initial; column-rule: initial; column-span: initial; columns: initial; contain-intrinsic-size: initial; contain: initial; content-visibility: initial; content: initial; counter-increment: initial; counter-reset: initial; counter-set: initial; cursor: initial; cx: initial; cy: initial; d: initial; display: block; dominant-baseline: initial; empty-cells: initial; fill-opacity: initial; fill-rule: initial; fill: initial; filter: initial; flex-flow: initial; flex: initial; float: initial; flood-color: initial; flood-opacity: initial; font-feature-settings: initial; font-kerning: initial; font-optical-sizing: initial; font-variation-settings: initial; font: initial; forced-color-adjust: initial; gap: initial; grid-area: initial; grid: initial; height: 0px; hyphens: initial; image-orientation: initial; image-rendering: initial; inline-size: initial; inset-block: initial; inset-inline: initial; inset: initial; isolation: initial; letter-spacing: initial; lighting-color: initial; line-break: initial; list-style: initial; margin-block: initial; margin-inline: initial; margin: initial; marker: initial; mask-type: initial; mask: initial; max-block-size: initial; max-height: initial; max-inline-size: initial; max-width: initial; min-block-size: initial; min-height: initial; min-inline-size: initial; min-width: initial; mix-blend-mode: initial; object-fit: initial; object-position: initial; offset: initial; opacity: initial; order: initial; origin-trial-test-property: initial; orphans: initial; outline-offset: initial; outline: initial; overflow-anchor: initial; overflow-clip-margin: initial; overflow-wrap: initial; overflow: initial; overscroll-behavior-block: initial; overscroll-behavior-inline: initial; overscroll-behavior: initial; padding-block: initial; padding-inline: initial; padding: initial; page-orientation: initial; page: initial; paint-order: initial; perspective-origin: initial; perspective: initial; place-content: initial; place-items: initial; place-self: initial; pointer-events: initial; position: initial; quotes: initial; r: initial; resize: initial; ruby-position: initial; rx: initial; ry: initial; scroll-behavior: initial; scroll-margin-block: initial; scroll-margin-inline: initial; scroll-margin: initial; scroll-padding-block: initial; scroll-padding-inline: initial; scroll-padding: initial; scroll-snap-align: initial; scroll-snap-stop: initial; scroll-snap-type: initial; shape-image-threshold: initial; shape-margin: initial; shape-outside: initial; shape-rendering: initial; size: initial; speak: initial; stop-color: initial; stop-opacity: initial; stroke-dasharray: initial; stroke-dashoffset: initial; stroke-linecap: initial; stroke-linejoin: initial; stroke-miterlimit: initial; stroke-opacity: initial; stroke-width: initial; stroke: initial; tab-size: initial; table-layout: initial; text-align-last: initial; text-align: initial; text-anchor: initial; text-combine-upright: initial; text-decoration-skip-ink: initial; text-decoration: initial; text-indent: initial; text-orientation: initial; text-overflow: initial; text-rendering: initial; text-shadow: initial; text-size-adjust: initial; text-transform: initial; text-underline-offset: initial; text-underline-position: initial; touch-action: initial; transform-box: initial; transform-origin: initial; transform-style: initial; transform: initial; transition: initial; user-select: initial; vector-effect: initial; vertical-align: initial; visibility: initial; white-space: initial; widows: initial; width: initial; will-change: initial; word-break: initial; word-spacing: initial; writing-mode: initial; x: initial; y: initial; z-index: initial; zoom: initial;"></div>Aarthi Bharathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13590058855322273744noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-86152422478732260502021-03-08T05:17:00.001+00:002021-03-08T05:18:26.359+00:00Why Solocation can rejuvenate homemakers?<p>I have been thinking of going on a vacation by myself (solocation) for a while, but it never materialised until recently. The COVID 19 Pandemic lockdown became a catalyst to this thought and the subsequent Work-from-Home (WFH) and School-from-Home scenarios that reduced my rejuvenating “Me-time” drastically (to be read as NIL). </p><p>My definition of me-time isn’t just reading books, creating or doing stuff that I love doing, but really absolute silence, where I can listen to and feel my own breathing, pick & look at my thoughts without judgment, be aware of everything inside and around me, what they now call being aware, mindful or meditation (No, I do not close my eyes for this, I just stay in the moment and relish it). I love staying still and doing nothing. Over the years, doing this as a regular practice has helped me cope with all the amplified chaos, that my status as trailing spouse (with international relocations) has brought for me on a golden platter (this is a topic for some other time).</p><p>There is an interesting scene from a recent Tamil movie - ‘Mookuthi Amman’ which I watched on OTT - where the brother asks his family members what their wishes were and the elder sister (who dons the homemaker responsibilities) very humbly requests ‘I need one day vacation from the kitchen’, was something I was able to correlate with, instantly. I am sure many homemakers would have had this thought in their minds sometime or the other in their lifetime! </p><p>I would blame my socially conditioned thought process for not considering solocations early on in my life. If you are wondering what this means, here I list a few:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>I always feared that the family would suffer if I left my home for a while. </li><li>I thought I must not take off on my own for my personal pleasure, despite being an advocate of self-care myself for many of the people whom I have impacted in my professional avatar as a wellness and parenting coach.</li><li>Worry about so many ‘what-ifs’ plaguing my mind.</li><li>Being a homemaker was my choice, hence the challenges are mine to deal with.</li><li>I am not the only one facing such circumstances. Why am I acting as though it is just me?</li></ul><p></p><div>I hope you now get the drift. Considering the pandemic situation, I did not want to travel too far from my home either. So, my #solocation plan was to check-in to a hotel with good amnesties, a 10 min drive from my home. </div><div><br /></div><div>I packed my backpack on a Friday morning, finished my lunch with my family, took a cab, and checked in to the hotel at 3 p.m. My Hubby man had booked a room with King size bed and oh boy, was I thankful!</div><div><br /></div><div>Stepping into the room, the concierge told me that a surprise awaited me. I thought it was my husband’s doing with some surprise, but what I saw was really a heart-warming gesture from the hotel staff. On the writing desk lay a beautiful card, with an amazing message welcoming me for a great and safe solocation. They congratulated me for stepping out of my comfort zone by choosing to travel solo and comforted me with the assurance of safety during the duration of my stay. This hotel – Novotel OMR - won me over that instant (though I already was a great fan of their hospitality, having experienced them in other countries).</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wOgJRe8p68A/YEWvVkUeajI/AAAAAAAAoVc/ULBYmxupTWgvNauERRVC-E5OVujqbWM7wCLcBGAsYHQ/s576/Solocation%2B-%2BWelcome%2BNote%2Bfrom%2BNovotel.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="A picture of the welcome note from the hotel staff" border="0" data-original-height="468" data-original-width="576" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wOgJRe8p68A/YEWvVkUeajI/AAAAAAAAoVc/ULBYmxupTWgvNauERRVC-E5OVujqbWM7wCLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/Solocation%2B-%2BWelcome%2BNote%2Bfrom%2BNovotel.jpeg" title="A greeting card congratulating me on my solocation decision" /></a></div><br /><div>That gesture was a big step towards easing the doubts that were rearing their ugly head on my decision to go solo. The rest of my stay during the weekend was pure bliss. The benefits I enjoyed during my stay:</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Completely Rested</b>: Sleep early and wake up early and refreshed the entire day – my comfort schedule which I had forgotten since motherhood; changed to, sleep late wake up early, and stay exhausted. Oh… The King-sized luxury bed was quite the comfort and I slept like my husband. (I recently read a quote on my friend’s FB wall – I do not want to sleep like my baby, I wish to sleep like my husband. I am sure you get the drift.)</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Stomach full without having to cook</b>: Eat filling meals without having to think about what to cook and then actually cooking them! Being weekend, the breakfast buffet at Novotel was filled with choices including South Indian and North Indian choices. I had my fill all three mornings – Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Oh! And there was Galette (My French colleagues will relate to this dish) too. I felt so stuffed that I skipped lunch. I can still feel the refreshing taste of the breakfast on my taste buds. Their to-order coffee was perfect. Novotel OMR weekend breakfast menu is one of the best.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Experiencing Hospitality</b>: Amazing staff at the restaurant. Always serving with a smile and every happy to oblige any service I requested. Welcoming me every morning with a cheery ‘Good morning’. Enquiring me about my stay and how I was liking the food. I felt like royalty! </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Productive Work Meeting</b>s: Yes, I got some office work done too. I was able to get a lot of my writing assignments completed, did some brainstorming for one of the volunteering initiatives, and was also able to catch-up with my old friends over undisturbed phone calls. All this without distractions or disturbances at my home or the doorbell going off every now and then.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Reading</b>: I did get to read a lot on the digital platform. I had also packed a book ‘Teaching through the Heart’ by Meera Ravi which I have been wanting to read for a while now. I missed my reading-for-hours-without-disturbance mode. These two days I was able to do that as well. </div><div><br /></div><div><b>Silence</b>: I had all the silent me-time I could ask for. Doing all the above, I still got this silence, and it helped me in calming myself and come back home with a fresh perspective and a smiling persona that my entire family noticed the change!</div><div><br /></div><div>On my return on Monday, I had an extended surprise waiting for me at home. </div><div><br /></div><div>Lunch was prepared by my Hubby and ready for me to eat. I did not have to come home and immediately resume duties. I had time till dinner for me to take over.</div><div><br /></div><div>Last but definitely not the least reason to make solocation a normalised event in every household. I got to hear these words from my spouse’s mouth, ‘Now I know how you make things look easy. Two days when I had to hold fort, there were a lot of things I realised were not as easy as I thought they were’. For example, seems our son rated his morning health drink prepared by his Dad as ‘okay, but needs improvement’. That made him realise how many zillion times I had prepared the same thing, to meet the needs of every individual at home. ‘Though I only did a fraction of things in comparison to what you do daily, I was exhausted by nightfall, both days. I knew being a homemaker was not easy, but I really got a glimpse of how extremely exhausting and difficult it is and for years you never let any of us feel this side of it. You deserve these breaks more often.’</div><div><br /></div><div>And I have a champion in my son. He said, ‘Amma needs her rest and downtime. She is overworked and less rested. We will all do our chores and pitch in more regularly.’ I do not have to remind them about their home chores (at least not that frequently). The family is more sensitive to my needs, fluctuating moods, and exhaustion. They are now conscious of my office work and hence are more participative in household tasks more. We have family lunches and dinners more frequently where conversations (all kinds) are helping build healthy connection rituals resulting in a secure attachment. These small changes in our family helped the homemaker in me feel valued and that it is now well acknowledged and appreciated by everyone in the family.</div><div><br /></div><div>My son and spouse are the organisers, sensitive, and emotional characters while I and my daughter are the logical decisive quick thinking and emotionally stronger individuals in the home. She loves pointing out in every possible situation that our family would probably win the award for the ‘maximum stereotypes broken’ category if there was one anyway and feels so much pride and contentment when she states this. </div><div><br /></div><div>What more can I ask for? Along with a relaxed and rejuvenated me, I also have a spouse who appreciates what I do much more than before. I think solocations occasionally are beneficial in more than one aspect. I see more of such solocations in my future! I would urge all homemakers (in fact each one in any capacity) also to go ahead and try it out, at least once, if not for anything else, but their personal wellbeing, as part of a self-care practice. </div><div><br /></div><div>If you have already had these in your past, would love to hear of your personal experiences as well and understand what other benefits that this can offer (for self and the family as a whole).</div><p>This post is part of <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/lets-talk-mental-health-together-towards-a-healthy-mind" target="_blank">#CauseAChatter #MentalHealthTalks</a> with Blogchatter. </p><div class="ms-editor-squiggler" style="-webkit-app-region: initial; -webkit-border-image: initial; -webkit-box-align: initial; -webkit-box-decoration-break: initial; -webkit-box-direction: initial; -webkit-box-flex: initial; -webkit-box-ordinal-group: initial; -webkit-box-orient: initial; -webkit-box-pack: initial; -webkit-box-reflect: initial; -webkit-font-smoothing: initial; 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content: initial; counter-increment: initial; counter-reset: initial; counter-set: initial; cursor: initial; cx: initial; cy: initial; d: initial; display: block; dominant-baseline: initial; empty-cells: initial; fill-opacity: initial; fill-rule: initial; fill: initial; filter: initial; flex-flow: initial; flex: initial; float: initial; flood-color: initial; flood-opacity: initial; font-feature-settings: initial; font-kerning: initial; font-optical-sizing: initial; font-variation-settings: initial; font: initial; forced-color-adjust: initial; gap: initial; grid-area: initial; grid: initial; height: 0px; hyphens: initial; image-orientation: initial; image-rendering: initial; inline-size: initial; inset-block: initial; inset-inline: initial; inset: initial; isolation: initial; letter-spacing: initial; lighting-color: initial; line-break: initial; list-style: initial; margin-block: initial; margin-inline: initial; margin: initial; marker: initial; mask-type: initial; mask: initial; max-block-size: initial; max-height: initial; max-inline-size: initial; max-width: initial; min-block-size: initial; min-height: initial; min-inline-size: initial; min-width: initial; mix-blend-mode: initial; object-fit: initial; object-position: initial; offset: initial; opacity: initial; order: initial; origin-trial-test-property: initial; orphans: initial; outline-offset: initial; outline: initial; overflow-anchor: initial; overflow-wrap: initial; overflow: initial; overscroll-behavior-block: initial; overscroll-behavior-inline: initial; overscroll-behavior: initial; padding-block: initial; padding-inline: initial; padding: initial; page-orientation: initial; page: initial; paint-order: initial; perspective-origin: initial; perspective: initial; place-content: initial; place-items: initial; place-self: initial; pointer-events: initial; position: initial; quotes: initial; r: initial; resize: initial; ruby-position: initial; rx: initial; ry: initial; scroll-behavior: initial; scroll-margin-block: initial; scroll-margin-inline: initial; scroll-margin: initial; scroll-padding-block: initial; scroll-padding-inline: initial; scroll-padding: initial; scroll-snap-align: initial; scroll-snap-stop: initial; scroll-snap-type: initial; shape-image-threshold: initial; shape-margin: initial; shape-outside: initial; shape-rendering: initial; size: initial; speak: initial; stop-color: initial; stop-opacity: initial; stroke-dasharray: initial; stroke-dashoffset: initial; stroke-linecap: initial; stroke-linejoin: initial; stroke-miterlimit: initial; stroke-opacity: initial; stroke-width: initial; stroke: initial; tab-size: initial; table-layout: initial; text-align-last: initial; text-align: initial; text-anchor: initial; text-combine-upright: initial; text-decoration-skip-ink: initial; text-decoration: initial; text-indent: initial; text-orientation: initial; text-overflow: initial; text-rendering: initial; text-shadow: initial; text-size-adjust: initial; text-transform: initial; text-underline-offset: initial; text-underline-position: initial; touch-action: initial; transform-box: initial; transform-origin: initial; transform-style: initial; transform: initial; transition: initial; user-select: initial; vector-effect: initial; vertical-align: initial; visibility: initial; white-space: initial; widows: initial; width: initial; will-change: initial; word-break: initial; word-spacing: initial; writing-mode: initial; x: initial; y: initial; z-index: initial; zoom: initial;"></div>Aarthi Bharathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13590058855322273744noreply@blogger.com6Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India13.0826802 80.2707184-15.227553636178845 45.114468400000007 41.392914036178844 115.4269684tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6977463.post-64068832853093078622021-02-10T15:44:00.014+00:002021-02-17T05:07:21.445+00:00#Dysphoric – A four-part documentary series by Vaishanvi Sundar<p>I am quoting the synopsis from the movie crew, as I feel that there can be no better way to clearly communicate what this documentary series is all about. </p><p><i>Synopsis:</i></p><p><i>In this dystopian world where misogyny is rampant, and womanhood is commodified, being female comes at a cost. Corporates capitalise on women's bodies blurring the lines of biological sex and profiting from the empirically untested pseudo-science of queer theory. This gaslighting is aided by the complicity of media, academia, legal and the political world. It is no surprise that young girls are fleeing womanhood like a house on fire.</i></p><p><i>The past decade has seen a steep rise in the number of young girls seeking to transition by undergoing life threatening, irreversible procedures. ‘Dysphoric’ is a four-part documentary series on the rise of Gender Identity Ideology, its effects on women and girls - especially in developing countries. </i></p><p><i>The film explores gender transition, the permanent medical side-effects of hormones and surgeries, the propaganda by 'woke' corporations that glorifies thousands of stereotypical gender presentations coalesced as fashion, a surge in pronoun policing; language hijacking that calls women ‘menstruators’, and the many hurdles women face while trying to question this modern-day misogyny. The film amplifies the voices of detransitioners, clinicians, psychiatrists, sociologists, feminists, academics and concerned citizens.</i></p><div>I was intrigued to watch the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRU9NIX0AA143z2QKukQcOqS96qriKGyw" target="_blank"><b>documentary series</b></a> because of the <a href="https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10222577641964561&id=1076900550" target="_blank"><b>message</b></a> on the director’s FB timeline, which stated that she would keep uploading every time it gets pulled down. She also is looking for someone to help her to write or talk about this on mainstream media, as she feels that this needs to get attention and discussed as well and I concur. </div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Sp3UmHvJpmw/YCP8QQavbmI/AAAAAAAAoGM/Wvjn_uYikCkSWxybKgaOBaG-9jW4jB7eACLcBGAsYHQ/s1080/Dysphoric.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="608" data-original-width="1080" height="358" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Sp3UmHvJpmw/YCP8QQavbmI/AAAAAAAAoGM/Wvjn_uYikCkSWxybKgaOBaG-9jW4jB7eACLcBGAsYHQ/w640-h358/Dysphoric.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><div>The <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRU9NIX0AA143z2QKukQcOqS96qriKGyw" target="_blank"><b>series</b></a> talks about the narrative surrounding the <b>#GenderDysphoria</b> diagnosis, ensuing hormone-blocking practices, and gender change surgeries by <b>professionals</b>, <b>dissenters</b>, and <b>detransitioners</b>, highlighting the various issues including certain gaps in processes that need to be followed. The focus is on the traumatic experience of the whole transitioning and <b>detransitioning</b> process, which includes not just the physical trauma, but also the emotional rollercoaster and the most pertinent question of ‘informed consent’ for gender change procedures and surgeries by children younger than 16 years of age, when they are developmentally too young to understand the concept of static duality of biological sex and gender identity. </div><div><br /></div><div>The 4-part series progressively addresses the various layers of issues surrounding this and why it is essential that we all understand and remain curious about what <b>Gender Dysphoria </b>(#GD) means, without oversimplifying the equation of <b>#GD</b> and <b>Gender Identity</b>. As we view one part after the other, we realise why it is important to create safe spaces to talk about the condition much longer, go through therapy to delve deeper and understand the condition before arriving at a concrete course of action addressing the GD, especially if the action is to embark on an irreversible physical life-altering decision!</div><div><br /></div><div>There are #detransitioners and #dissenters, their family and therapist also sharing their journey and hence I think this documentary needs to be watched by anyone and everyone as gives a perspective that is easily relatable, irrespective of who you are. Please take some time out to watch this <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRU9NIX0AA143z2QKukQcOqS96qriKGyw" target="_blank"><b>series</b></a> and understand more about Gender Dysphoria and its ramifications in our world, especially for a woman. </div></div><div><br /></div><div>This post is part of <a href="https://www.theblogchatter.com/causeachatter" target="_blank">#CauseAChatter</a> with Blogchatter. #LiftEveryVoice </div><div><br /></div><div class="ms-editor-squiggler" style="-webkit-app-region: initial; -webkit-border-image: initial; -webkit-box-align: initial; -webkit-box-decoration-break: initial; -webkit-box-direction: initial; -webkit-box-flex: initial; -webkit-box-ordinal-group: initial; -webkit-box-orient: initial; -webkit-box-pack: initial; -webkit-box-reflect: initial; -webkit-font-smoothing: initial; -webkit-highlight: initial; -webkit-hyphenate-character: initial; -webkit-line-break: initial; -webkit-line-clamp: initial; -webkit-locale: initial; -webkit-mask-box-image: initial; 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place-self: initial; pointer-events: initial; position: initial; quotes: initial; r: initial; resize: initial; ruby-position: initial; rx: initial; ry: initial; scroll-behavior: initial; scroll-margin-block: initial; scroll-margin-inline: initial; scroll-margin: initial; scroll-padding-block: initial; scroll-padding-inline: initial; scroll-padding: initial; scroll-snap-align: initial; scroll-snap-stop: initial; scroll-snap-type: initial; shape-image-threshold: initial; shape-margin: initial; shape-outside: initial; shape-rendering: initial; size: initial; speak: initial; stop-color: initial; stop-opacity: initial; stroke-dasharray: initial; stroke-dashoffset: initial; stroke-linecap: initial; stroke-linejoin: initial; stroke-miterlimit: initial; stroke-opacity: initial; stroke-width: initial; stroke: initial; tab-size: initial; table-layout: initial; text-align-last: initial; text-align: initial; text-anchor: initial; text-combine-upright: initial; text-decoration-skip-ink: initial; text-decoration: initial; text-indent: initial; text-orientation: initial; text-overflow: initial; text-rendering: initial; text-shadow: initial; text-size-adjust: initial; text-transform: initial; text-underline-offset: initial; text-underline-position: initial; touch-action: initial; transform-box: initial; transform-origin: initial; transform-style: initial; transform: initial; transition: initial; user-select: initial; vector-effect: initial; vertical-align: initial; visibility: initial; white-space: initial; widows: initial; width: initial; will-change: initial; word-break: initial; word-spacing: initial; writing-mode: initial; x: initial; y: initial; z-index: initial; zoom: initial;"></div>Aarthi Bharathhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13590058855322273744noreply@blogger.com4