Sunday, December 31, 2023

BITS 1997 Batch Silver Jubilee Reunion (21st – 24th December 2023)

I am still not ready to let go of 2023 especially because it had been a perfect yin-yang kind of year for me. What better way to ring the year end festive season than to spend an extended weekend with friends from 25 years ago and relive the magic of the place named BITS, Pilani.

21st – 24th December marked the silver jubilee reunion for the 1997 Batch of BITS Pilani and I am still revelling in the magic of those four days. The most amazing end-of-the-year experience one could have, and hold it beyond the turn of the year as well – time with friends to reminiscence in the nostalgia of yester years, by visiting the campus that shaped us during our late teens, make new memories in the same place by giving back, take in the changes that the campus has gone through, and still see the remnants from the years that we spent on campus and more.

Penning this note was an exercise to organise the flood of emotions and memories I have been experiencing, and in the process have a memoire to look back upon fondly for years to come. There is another personal reason for wanting to hold on to those wonderful moments. This was my first outing (on my own) in the last s6 months. I was (and still am) recovering from a surgery (two if you consider the minor surgery for addressing an infected incision site) that was a result of a freak road accident in May 2023. Only around mid-November did I start walking without support. My surgeon and physiotherapist approved me for this travel only on 19th December 2023 (based on the progress of my recovery), after clearly explaining the dos and don’ts, and a knee-brace to be worn all the time I was on my foot and amidst crowd. Of course, I was scared, yet I wanted to be part of this once-in-a-lifetime event, which is why I hadn’t cancelled my travel bookings, that I made before my accident. I packed light and only for the mandatory dress code activities. The rest was to be winged (repeat, pile-on, or…) as any student did while on campus.

21st December 2023

Come 21st December, my heart rate increased in anticipation as well as anxiety and I know I was not alone in the anxiety part, yet my mom, spouse and children who have been caring for me the last 6 months happily sent me on my merry way with encouraging words and words of caution to not overdo (knowing that I tend to do exactly that). I thought I would be the only BITSian on that flight to Delhi from Chennai. I was pleasantly surprised to have another BITSian, Foodking Sarathbabu as my travel companion and he willingly helped me with luggage until we checked into Hotel Taj, Gurugram. Some of my batchmates were already there and some trickled in behind me at the check-in counter. My fogged memory had difficulty with names though many faces were familiar. Thankfully quite a few were having similar issues and we decided to blame it on our age, mommy brain and what not and started re-introducing ourselves. There was a hi-tea icebreaker session a couple of hours before dinner. The dinner was set up in the 1990s Bollywood theme with red carpet and arches at the entry of the banquet hall, photo booth with props, and drinks of choice. The usual gratitude to the OC (Organising Committee) & Rec n Acc (Recreation and Accommodation) team that made this event memorable sharing the journey leading up to the event followed by a pop-trivia quiz about BITS and our favourite hangout spots set the competitive edge rolling and the energy levels high to start off the music night by music clubbers after we finished our dinner.

The peppy numbers by music clubbers saw many people on the dance floor. Except for the difference in venue (from BITS), the energy levels were the same, and I felt that all of us were back to the teens that we were in 1997. Even if my foot was alright, I had two left feet when it came to dancing, so I was happily watching the others dance, while I sang along. When Marline dedicated a song for the first loves and started signing Zara Zara Behekta Hai from Rehana Hai Tere Dil Mein, I was missing my BITSian life partner, as the Tamizh version of this song was our all-time favourite (Vaseegara from the movie Minnale). She transitioned to the Tamizh version halfway through the song and the sing along became more personal. After a couple of songs, I headed to my room, ensuring that I followed the instructions of my surgeon & physiotherapist, preserving my strength and energy for the remaining three days.

22nd December 2023

On reaching the Pilani campus after a 4-hour long drive from Gurugram in a fun-filled bus ride with my friends, the first thing I did was to get ready for the Saraswati Mandir visit in traditional wear for a batch photo. After a while in the mandir, I went back to Vfast hostel (the on-campus stay for visitors) for the bonfire night and dinner. The rooms did not have heater which brought back memories of the shivering nights & early mornings of our initial winter in Pilani, especially for those of us who came from warm and humid tropical climate like Chennai (then Madras). It took a couple of semesters to get used to this weather and learn about layering to stay warm. Thankfully the water heaters at VFast were functional, which spared us from recreating the no-bath experience of our student days in winter.

23rd December 2023

The morning began with a walk/run on campus. I did not join this for obvious reason 😊 After breakfast, it was the department visits and stroll around the institute on the agenda, before the Leadership faculty interaction. I decided to start my day by visiting BITS Library. For someone who was (and is) always seen with a book in hand no other place could have been a starting point. As I entered the library, I was thrilled to find my debut book featured on the display table marked as MUST READ. I had to get a picture clicked here with the Deputy Librarian Mr. Ghosh. I also handed over a few more paperback copies of my book Imperfect Parenting: Honest Stories from Global Parents (for the library of the other BITS Pilani campuses). A BITSian author friend of mine Ramya Srinivasan (FD97A3PSXXX) had entrusted me with the responsibility of passing on copies of her book, The Write Way, to be added to the special display shelf exclusively showcasing works by BITSian authors in BITS Library, and for the library of other campuses of BITS (Hyderabad, Goa). From here I walked to the Rotunda just opposite to the iconic clock tower of BITS for our batch photos.

This Rotunda connected to the New Academic Block (NAB), an underground new block with lecture rooms and auditorium which ensures that the view of the institute and Saraswati Mandir remains unobstructed, and the greenery is also retained as ceiling of the buildings.

We had a Leadership Faculty Interaction at the J C Choudary NAB Auditorium. I found myself pleasantly overwhelmed when the current Director of BITS Pilani, Pilani campus, Dr. Sudhirkumar V Barai, recognised me by my name and initiated a conversation. The conversation itself is a haze because of the flood of emotions that was experiencing. His appreciation on my published book and this interaction will be a memory that will be etched in my memory for life, in addition to the one-on-one conversation with Dr. Arya Kumar, Dean Alumni Relations. Never in my wildest dream did I, an introvert, ever imagine that I would be in the presence of such esteemed visionaries, thought leaders, and vibrant personalities.

Next on the agenda was lunch organised by the Director for our batch at the RB (Ram Budh) mess. The scheduled itinerary of events had a break of 2.5 hours after this, letting each of us do what we wished. I decided to visit my hostel (MB – Meera Bhawan) rooms and managed to see a couple from the outside as they were locked by its current inhabitants who had gone home for their semester break. Having the campus all to ourselves was a huge plus, letting us become the teenagers without having worry about acting our age.

I am still amazed at how I managed to be on my foot all through the morning and afternoon until 3 p.m., the time retired to my room and to wait for my family (spouse and 2 kids) who were enroute from Chennai. They arrived at 4:30 p.m. They were welcomed by my batchmates as well and we made a visit to Saraswati Mandir. From there we went to Sky Lab, said hello to Pappu and had his special chai, which was a regular part of our lives when we (me and my spouse) were students. From there we joined the rest of the gang for the hi-tea in IC (Institute Cafeteria). After hi-tea we walked down to FD II to the spot where I had proposed (to my current spouse - Kaaba), before heading to C’Not place (no less than a similar named place in Delhi).

I finished my dinner with my batchmates while my family went to Blue Moon restaurant, to enjoy the signature dish of Fried Paneer Maggi. After dinner, I joined my family and shared a plate of fried Maggi with Kaaba, while my kids enjoyed plain Maggi – which they felt was more delicious (maybe the cold weather) than the one we eat in Chennai. My family dropped me at the main Audi (Auditorium) for the Music Nite organised by the music clubbers of our batch. I was tired and ready to retire for the day but wanted to enjoy this experience. So I stayed for a couple of song while my family checked in to their room in an accommodation just outside the campus, off-loaded their luggage and came back to pick me up from the Audi and dropped me back in my room, before they went to theirs.

24 December 2023

It was time to bid goodbye to the campus (for now). I was happy that I was able to make it to this reunion with my limited mobility and managed to cover as many events as possible and quite a few places to visit, relive old memories and make new ones, until my next visit. On this last day we also got to experience the morning fog (Kohara), which is a usual occurrence in the month of December and January. It is such a beautiful one to enjoy watching, if you are not driving through it. I was on the last bus out of Pilani. The day before was a full day on my feet, and I still am wondering how I managed to be on my feet for almost 2/3rd of my waking time, but it did take a toll on my weak muscles. The pain was pronounced, and my recovering leg felt stiff.

From the time I checked into Taj, there was always someone close by to ask if I was okay and always ready to help with anything that I wanted - drink, plate refills, water or to ensure that I could safely get back to my room. Even on the bus ride to and from Pilani, I had people getting me chai because I could not (and did not want to) get on and off the bus multiple times. This willingness to be there for each other, pitch-in without being asked for, go the extra mile to ensure that everyone had fun, and a place where formalities take a back seat is how the magic happens here and stays with us through our life. This is one place where masks come off, and we all laugh, talk, and enjoy with no barriers (gender, language, religion, economic/social status) blocking our interaction and fun. We are peers and we all are bound by the camaraderie of bringing that magical spirit for everyone to experience. During my recovery, I joined the Yearbook team as a volunteer to ensure that I was a small part of the reunion, even if I was unable to make it in person to the campus if my mobility did not improve, but I am so grateful that I was able to make it and the yearbook became an additional colour to the beautiful memories that I am taking with me from these 4 days of unadulterated fun and magic with friends in a place that was pivotal in shaping me to who I am today.

In 1997 when I got me admission letter to BITS, my dream college, and yet I started faltering because I had already joined B.Sc Mathematics in Ethiraj College, Chennai, my mom and maternal uncle sat me down and convinced me to go with this advice “You are going to BITS to experience life. Studies can happen anywhere. So go to BITS for its experience and exposure.” I am so glad I heeded to their advice. Even when I started for this trip, this uncle of mine messaged me “Go and bask in friendly adulation” and how so right he was. The friendly adulation was so authentic and warm that even after a week, I am still basking in it, and I doubt if it will wane at all soon! Maybe this was the driving energy that provided me with the strength to be able to visit as many places on campus as I did as well.

Many of us had lost touch with each other after graduating. This reunion and the technology of today has helped us to stay connected with each other from here on. Hoping for more gatherings in the future (small or big) to keep the spirit of BITS Pilani and its magic alive all through our lifetime. Ever grateful for the opportunity that I had to be a BITSian forever!

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year 2024!

Wednesday, July 05, 2023

Book Review - Lost Edges by Salini Vineeth

Disclaimer: There may be a few spoilers and if you would like to read the book without being influenced by the review, please come back here after reading the book.

As reviews started coming in about the book, touching upon mental health and its importance, I decided to order the book. I placed the amazon order on 28 May 2023 and the book was due to be delivered on 30 May 2023. While I was eagerly awaiting to receive my book, Life had a different plan for me though. On 29 May 2023, I was injured in a freak road accident, admitted in the hospital for compound fracture in my right tibia & fibula which resulted in a surgery and put a long road of recovery. The book arrived on 30 May 2023 and my family brought it to the hospital the next day.

I started reading the book during my hospital stay. It helped me navigate through my own emotional journey during my recovery as I was reading about the life journeys of Geetanjali & Ravi. 

The very first chapter caught my attention specifically because of the aspect of how well it dwelled on the internal conundrum of Ravi in the waiting room of a mental health professional and the myriad of irrational thoughts that keep popping in his consciousness asserting the Tamil idiom “மனம் à®’à®°ு குà®°à®™்கு” (Manam oru Kurangu - meaning our mind is a monkey – or more elaborately, our mind jumps around like a monkey with no rhyme or reason). As his mind jumps around, we also a get a glimpse of Geetu (Geetanjali) from his perspective. As the story progresses, it was a pleasure reading the inferences of events from both Ravi & Geetanjali’s perspectives. This is the reality of life. Every incident has multiple perspectives. These perspectives are from the biased views of the specific individuals who view them through their biased lenses that are a result of their lived experiences from childhood that shape their values systems and learning as a result of navigating situations & circumstances.

Amit, the friend who is the first point of contact for Geetanjali to seek out for professional relationship counselling, does justice to both his personal and professional relationship, by making sure that he just serves as a first point of contact guiding them towards the appropriate support systems either of them need and not letting the conflict of interest of the personal relationship cloud over the professional services that he could be providing. The hand off has been dealt very well.

The research for the book for addressing the sensitive topic of mental health care, childhood trauma and its long-lasting impact including the shaping of one’s persona, importance of therapy, the Indian context of the associated taboo & inhibition is evident in the way the plot unfolds. Both the lead characters have their fair share of childhood trauma and experiences that have been instrumental in shaping their coping mechanisms, which travels with them well into adulthood. 

Though Arnav as a character is very short lived in the plot, he still managed to make a place in my mind as I saw him to be an individual with a deeper character who could be largely misunderstood by most, as he does not care to fit into the societal mould of expectations. He is his own master and slave to none. 

I loved how the story ventured into the different relationships & their quality, that each of the lead roles have in their life – parental, sibling, and friends. And in doing so, the plot touches upon the way they perceive every challenge that life throws at them. Without mentioning the technical terms, the plot touches upon temperament, lived experiences, resilience, trauma, PTSD, self-medication (and its harm), and more. 

Kudos to the author, Salini Vineeth, for being verbal about the need for regular follow ups for prescribed medication and its adjustment for better mental health. She also highlights the need for the psychiatric treatment and therapeutic intervention to go hand in hand and overlap with each other for the intervention to be effective for the individual seeking these services and support. 

As a person who has been passionate about human behaviour and its drivers, I have consciously pursued to qualify myself to understand this from a holistic perspective in both educational context as well as in reading up about current research including interdisciplinary research in biology, sociology, & psychology that shed light on the interplay of these fields in driving human behaviour. From this position, I would say the Salini Vineeth has done a fabulous job of bringing the interplay of emotions, relationships, and environment on an individual’s behaviour shaping beautifully. The importance of appropriate support systems and the complexity of its availability in the Indian context is also well highlighted. 

I would recommend that this book be read by mental health professionals too for them to understand the client’s world with its multiple layers and their complex interplay on the client’s cognition, behaviour, and everyday choices. This will enrich the therapeutic intervention for the client, as it will be an approach that is holistic. It might also motivate the therapist/professional to explore & understand areas outside their specific area of expertise, thereby making eclectic intervention a norm in therapeutic strategy! 

Salini Vineeth – also an alumnus like me from BITS, Pilani, has also authored other books: 

  1. Everyday People: Tales of People you know, a collection of short stories. This was the first book that I read. What pulled me to read this was her Tiny Tales. I have been a fan of her writing long before this book because of Tiny Tales. She has a way with words in expressing the layers in the fabric of human emotions and interaction.
  2. Magic Square, a novella. This is on my TBR (To Be Read) list.
  3. Travel Guides for Hampi and Badami.

In addition to the above self-published books, she has also been part of a few anthologies. Her stories have also been published in various magazines. You can find the links to these on her website.

This post is also part of Blogchatter’s #TBRChallenge 2023. This blog is also part of #CauseAChatter challenge, as this book focuses on individual mental health and its long standing impact on relationships through its various characters. 

This is not a sponsored review.

Monday, April 17, 2023

Book Review - BITS and pieces by Harshita Nanda

Setting the context (or should I say disclaimer) before I delve deep into this book review – I am a BITSian too, Harshita & Girija’s batchmate, have been their ‘wingie’ during my 5 years (a dualite) in BITS, Pilani. So as Girija mentions in the foreword ‘It was a pleasure illustrating her BITS and bits of my BITS through this wonderful book’, my book review might be a place where I share my BITS as I review Harshita Nanda’s BITS. So, if you feel my review is biased, you now know why!

By the way, if you are wondering what wingie means, you can read all about it in Chapter 23 of the book BITS and pieces : A Collage of My BITSian Memories ðŸ˜Š. 

Incidentally this is the first book that I got issued from the Blogchatter’s Book Review programme

I always read any book from the foreword to the glossary, and I was pleasantly surprised to find my name in the acknowledgment section of the book, and I was jumping up and down in joy because that made me feel it was like old times again, journeying together – took me back to our BSL days from when we were together in BITS. And the mention of BSL in Chapter 2 of the book took me on a trip down my memory lane which included the streets of Triplicane, Chennai (India), where one could scout for used books at heavily discounted price (better your bargaining power, the better is the deal). This was my go-to place for filling the racks of BSL with choice of books that I wanted to read and stock-up for my fellow BITSians. I am sure by now you are itching to know what BSL expands to😊, you can buy your copy of BITS and pieces and jump to Chapter 2.

As her narration continued from one chapter to another, my personal memories of BITS were also playing out in my mind and I vividly remember getting ready for the Fresher’s welcome in a Black & Grey silk saree (my Mom’s), as an invitee of Bharath (my now spouse) to his hostel (Ram Bhavan) day and then the memory is fuzzy. I don’t remember if I went and got back or as I came to the open space near the entrance of MB we were told that the fresher’s welcome was cancelled. Now you are wondering what MB means… I know 😊… There are two expansions for MB with a slight differentiation and both these expansions are part of the Chapter 13.

When I was reading the book, I noted down a lot of points and pages as references on which I wanted to talk about. Seeing how just talking about a couple of memories, has made my book review verbose, I am just going to add one more part of the book that was a pleasant surprise… It is a mention of me again in the Chapter 20, when she was talking about our cherished train journey on Tamil Nadu Express. While I knew I had relatives meet me at a couple of stations in between Madras (now Chennai) and Delhi, I completely zoned out on the home food that got delivered to me. This was a welcome aspect especially on our journey back home from Delhi as we would be dependent on the food from the pantry car or the snacks, we picked up on specific stations like Itarsi for bread omelette, Nagpur for the oranges (especially during the season) and Vijayawada for its Aam paapad.
 
A review of this amazing book, about BITS & its personal vocabulary which is weaved into our personalised memories for every BITSian, would be incomplete if I do not mention a few more things:
  • Blue Moon's Fried Maggi is an emotion that connects generations of BITSians. (Chapter 3)
  • Saraswati Mandir on the campus was my go-to place when I needed to centre myself. The inner sanctum and the lawns outside on either side of the temple were my favourite spots to achieve inner peace. The eyes of the goddess Saraswathi seemed to emanate compassion and love that felt like the fuzzy safe hug of a mother. (Chapter 19)
  • OASIS - Annual BITS Cultural Fest - meant 5 days of staying outside the hostel without worrying about the curfew at girls’ hostel. Of course, the current generation would not know what that curfew meant as it has been removed. (Chapter 15)
I have just one disappointment as I was reading Chapter 15, which is, the club that I was part of when I was a student at BITS, Creative Activities Club (CrAC), which now has grown to the size of a department did not find a mention when Harshita was listing the various clubs & departments that functioned efficiently during the cultural fest of OASIS. Of course, we all were busy and engaged with our own personal groups and clubs that missing to name a couple of them is bound to happen. Yet, having donned the role of Joint. Sec and Secretary of this club for 2 consecutive terms, my attachment to this club made me feel sad when I did not find it in the list. We had various creative competitions in the Sky Lawns & Pappu’s chai was our staple drink during our college fests. 

Having talked so much about the book, my personal BITSian memory, I do not want to leave out speaking about the illustrations. I have loved Girija’s artwork from my BITSian days and actively follow her art journey on 2Flatbrush. My most favourite illustration in this book is for the Chapter 4, the letter D and of course the cover design. The common reason for liking these two is the Clock Tower, the iconic symbol of BITS, Pilani. The letter D also had the main entrance gate of our campus and the two convocation caps to indicate the unique dual degree programme, of which I am one of the beneficiaries.

BITS has been a significant piece of our lives to make a huge impact in the way we think, act, and speak. Our way of looking at problems were always as challenges that we would work to overcome, and this is what has helped many BITSians navigate change without too much of a resistance or hassle. We are ever ready to take on any challenge life has for us with a fighting attitude, and we almost always overcome the challenge with grace and success.

I mean, I would love to go on, but then this would not remain a book review of BITS & pieces then and turn into a memoire of my memories from my BITSian days. Every chapter I read, brought back memories that were personal to me, some that were overlapping with Harshita’s narration. Harshita’s narrative style captures the essence & spirit of the Pilani Campus of BITS, which is now an Institute of Eminence. 

For every BITSian alumni, this book & its narrative style would surely bring back memories and associated emotions in their fullest glory. For the current BITSian students, especially in Pilani campus, this book will serve as a comparison point to explore areas within the campus to see what has changed from the late 90s to current day. For future aspiring BITSians, I think this book will serve as a motivation to want to get to experience the magic of BITS that every BITSian will proudly vouch to and get a sneak-peek into the much talked about exclusive BITSian vocabulary. The illustrations are a true representation of everything that the words in the book talk about and close to the reality of what it used to be on campus in the late 90s and early 2Ks. You can buy this book of her’s, BITS and pieces, on Amazon

Harshita Nanda has also authored another book, Xanadu, which is also a title available on Amazon. Her work is also one of the featured works in the COVID-19 Anthology titled Life During COVID-19 by Antara Pandit. As a bibliophile she also shares a lot of book reviews on her personal blog, which you could use to update your To be Read list, if you have one!

I am participating in Blogchatter’s #TBRChallenge 2023. This post is part of that as well, in line with this month’s theme “My collection of books” and Blogchatter's #BookReview programme.