Saying Goodbye to 2019

As parents, there have been times when we the years just whizzed past so fast - some we recollect with fondness while some bring with it a heaviness in the heart. 2019 has been a year with both.

Refitment to Indian Way of Life: When we moved back to India in 2018, settling in a young family (2 children aged 12 & 8) to the Indian way of life without losing the learnings over the years that we picked up from our other travels abroad (UK and France) was a challenge looming in front of us. We have always been adaptive in that way, but the good thing is that as a family, we also retained all that we loved from every culture that we happened to experience during our travel and still retaining the "Indianess" in us. The initial 6 months were very difficult but as 2019 began, the family settled in with each of us finding our comfort zone with our extended families and new-found friends, and neighbours.

Getting Back to Professional World: After resigning from my Technical Writing career (13 yrs back), I managed to stay connected with writing through my blog, volunteering and freelancing projects, wherever we relocated! This move back to India gave me connections with Alumni and friends through whom I have been able to find a part-time position in a start-up and explore the avenues of branding myself as a Consultant Content Developer, Career Counselor & Trainer/Tutor. This is a personal achievement that I am very proud of. Our parenting has been instrumental in bringing forth the instant adaptiveness from my children to this change of mine, my spouse's unwavering confidence in me, and my mother's close presence are a few things I am grateful to have to my advantage!

Quality Time with Family: 2019 saw many from our extended family visiting us at our home. Children got to spend quality time with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. The interactions that ensued - some were captured on a camera while some remain etched in our memories (a camera of its own kind). They also got to spend a few moments with their great grandmother before she went on her life's last journey.

Personal Fitness: Morning walks that started as an effort to control my obesity and a chance to have meaningful conversations with my spouse. Zumba came as an addition for better cardio training on the insistence of a friend, which surprisingly I have started enjoying. Weight training is a recent addition to muscle strength and toning. A hashtag that started as a fun conversation with my spouse has now become my mantra for fitness - #FitBy50.

Overall the year that went by had some great moments, some personal growth, some personal losses - a typical sine wave - with its crests and troughs. This year, I think, was a perfect example of what life is all about - yin-yang combination - the good in bad, and the bad in good going hand in hand - the transientness of happy and sad, success & failure, gain and loss - a content year in all. Guess I have finally grown up enough to understand this - of course reaching close to the milestone of 40 years of age I am sure, has nothing to do with it (wink).

Wishing you and your Family a Happy 2020. Keeping in mind the WhatsApp message that is making the rounds, do not forget to make it a habit to write the year as a four-digit representation instead of the usual 2 digits (I have been doing this for 2 decades now). 

Art & AI

Had an interesting conversation with my first born (FB) at dinner time. 

Me: Can AI be part of Art?

My FB: AI is already Art!

Me: Eh! No I meant can Art come into AI or do you think it can replace Art anytime soon? (Mind voice: maybe I am being too complicated with my questioning to a tween)

My FB: I know... And that is exactly what I am saying. (A little impatiently but with conviction) Making something artificial is art. AI now has the capacity to cook. Cooking is as much as art as it is science. Also, it is 'Art'ificial Intelligence... Even the name has art in it!

Me: ....... Mm mm...... Mm mm mm Right... (a pregnant pause and eyes wide open... Maybe my mouth too) I am grateful that I will never be your career counselor, as I am your parent. Wow! Wow!

I know some of you are wondering why I had to make a blog post out of this conversation and not just make it a status update message! That is because, her reasoning blew my mind and I wanted to record it for eternity for me to refer to it with ease, lest I forget it. It will also remind me of that feeling of being blown by the ingeniousness of her thought process. 

Another proud moment to be a parent to children who really think.

Playing A Small Part in my Social Responsibility

My volunteering journey has been quite long and has traveled with me to every school that I have moved to as a child and to every country I have relocated as an adult. Giving back in kind to the community that I reside in, is something I have picked up from my childhood. “Our Village Our Responsibility” (OVOR - #OurVillageOurResponsibility, #OVOR) is an organisation that I have had the pleasure to be associated with after my recent move to India. They are a team, who is passionate about making things better around for all of us, a group of people who share similar views as me.

Their call for volunteer tutors on their Facebook page, to conduct eTeaching for children studying in Government schools in the Virudhunagar district, caught my attention and thus started my association with the founder, Ms. Kavitha K Pandian – an NRI living in the USA. Through their “Classes through Skype” initiative, English and Computer subjects are taught across 28 Government Schools in Virudhunagar, Dindugal, Villupuram and Theni Districts, covering 5200+ students per week involving 150+ volunteer tutors. 

Our Village Our Responsibility was registered as a trust in 2018, though Ms. Kavitha has been working towards this cause individually for around 15 years. The main focus areas for OVOR are: 

• Motivating youngsters to participate & work towards ensuring better governance by elected representatives and public servants.
• Focusing on bringing Govt schools to the forefront by
• Teaching English, National Means-Cum-Merit Scholarship (NMMS) & Computer Science through Skype. This is to bridge the gap between the private schools and government schools, where the government schools are at a disadvantage due to the challenge in the available resources (including personnel and materials). 
• Improvement in Infrastructure: A very critical aspect of providing quality education, especially for the girl children and first-generation learners. In order to make education more appealing and comfortable, infrastructure is a key factor. E.g. toilets, safe and strong school building, comfortable chairs & tables to sit, a library with at least a handful of books for additional reading to improve language and knowledge.

I have been tutoring 25 children in Class VIII from Government High School, Thulukapatty in Virudhunagar District, once a week, for the past 6 months. When an opportunity presented, I also made a personal visit to the school on 18-Nov-19 for face-to-face interaction with the children and staff. 

Having lived in the city all my life, even the Government School building that I have come across, was big in size. This school, which was about 30 minutes’ drive from the town of Virudhunagar, was quite small and no bigger than 4000 sq ft area (maybe even lesser than that). It has a total strength of 156 students (Classes I to X) and 8 teachers who are responsible of teaching these children every subject and prepare them to face the exams of school and life. Having said that, I could not find even one unhappy child in that school. Every direction I turned, I only saw curious happy faces, eager to know who I was (a stranger who was visiting their school). 

I spent almost 2 hours with Class VIII. I had prepared 2 interactive activities to understand how I needed to change my approach to teaching English for them. One was a translation of a small Tamil moral story and the other was to build a passage or a few sentences using 5 random words. They put in their best and earnestly tried to do both these activities for my benefit. In all that 2 hours, I never saw a bored face, a face that was frustrated to sit in class, none of them wanted to walk out of the classroom when the break bell rang. They all were actively participating in the classroom activity, being seated on the floor. That showed me a new perspective of life at a Government school and made me want to do more for the eager to learn spirit. This day turned out to be a humbling and happy experience for me. From the response of the children, I am to understand that they also had fun & benefitted from my visit.

There are people who do chequebook charity and there are those who spare their time and effort for the same cause. Both kinds are needed for any purpose to see the light of day. While I and many like me spare our time for Skype tutoring, there have been many who have contributed in the form of money and materials that made the installation of a computer room with at least a dozen systems, broadband connection to make Skype classes possible and a room to hold these things. This school and many like this one still need basic infrastructure improvement and basic amenities like clean toilets. 

I would urge all those who do not provide for either of the above, to do their share either for OVOR (or through other means), to do something to give back to the community. The contentment and the sense of achievement of being an instrument of change in someone’s life is a big personal morale booster that nothing else in life can give you. 

My earnest request to all parents (esp. with children studying in private schools) and youngsters who want to bring in a social change: Please join hands with such volunteering initiatives and do visit at least one government school, for them to give them an exposure to being socially inclusive and responsible.

Let us do our share to realise the dreams of our leaders who dreamt of a socially inclusive and adaptive society that treats every individual with the same dignity and respect as self!

Draft National Education Policy (NEP) - An invigorating day-long dialogue practitioners (Part 2)

Draft National Education Policy (NEP) - An invigorating day-long dialogue practitioners (Part 1)

Post Lunch Sessions

Mr. Nandakumar took the stage (again) to talk in length on School Education. He gave the facts and governing bodies as listed by the policy and concluded his speech with a few observations of his:

1. The governing bodies that will be set up will be mutually exclusive in their functions and roles and hence there will be no conflict of interest. 
2. The split of school education is 5+3+3+4. The last 4 years correspond to 9-12 standard with 4 years, 8 semesters, and 24 subjects with flexibility for students to choose subjects of their choice in addition to the mandatory subjects.

His suggestions, which he said he had already written to the concerned people were:

• Lack of single government-approved rating agency, like the OFSTED in the UK, to rank schools based on some valid criteria such as child safety, inclusivity, active learning, etc.
• No mention of PPP - Private Public Partnerships.
• Private schools to be declared as “industries”.
• Go beyond School Management Committees (SMC) and bring in Boards (Board of Trustees/directors with roles and responsibilities.)
• Bring Coupon system for fee payment where the coupon can be given to the school during admission, which can be converted to money by submitting to the treasury by the school. If the parent wishes to secure private school admission for the child, then the coupon can be topped up with personal money for the difference in fee!

Next, we had Mr. Divanshu Kumar, Founder & CEO Involve - focus area being peer teaching with Student Leaders and Student Learners as stakeholders. The draft NEP talks about National Tutors Program (NTP), which is in line with the focus area of Involve. He gave a concise picture of their solution for improving learning outcomes in school children, the assessment modality and how they have witnessed a marked increase in the learning outcome with the group that was part of their program. He also spoke how the model is a viable solution for the NTP suggested by the draft. The result of his program saw student leaders (role of peer teachers) develop 21st-century skills like collaborating, cooperating, creativity, communication, flexibility in addition to literacy.

Dr. Uma Muthuram, Managing Trustee, Suyam Charitable Trust, spoke about Equity and Inclusion in Draft NEP. She raised a few operational concerns regarding the lofty changes that the policy was speaking about. She registered her reservations on the effective execution of the policy to its spirit, based on her current and earlier experience with bureaucracy and regulatory authorities.

Ms. Pooja Jayaram, Education Consultant and Teach for India Alumnus, spoke at length on Curriculum and Pedagogy based on her experience as a fellow of Teach for India initiative. Her concern was that the rural-urban divide may become more pronounced if the implementation of the processes documented in NEP, doesn’t take into consideration the practical implications with respect to the teaching abilities of the volunteers who are expected to support the schools!

Another panel discussion ensued with the stage adorned by Mr. Vikas Arya, Director - DAV Group of Schools, Ms. Vidhyavathi, Head Mistress - TVS Higher Secondary School Madurai, Ms. Gowri Shivshankar, Principal - Chettinad Harishree Vidyashram, Ms. Aruna Rathnam, Executive Director - Madhuram Narayanan Centre for Exceptional Children on Draft NEP and the Teacher. The common point raised was on the aspect of the implementation. From the practice standpoint, they felt that there will be challenges in implementing the change, based on the current and previous practices that they have had the chance to experience over their tenure. Also, Ms. Aruna Rathnam felt disappointed that the draft NEP does not talk anything about exceptional children and their education.

Last but not the least, on stage, was Mr. Vishwanathan Radhakrishnan, Corporate Volunteer to share his views on Remedial Instructional Aides Program (RIAP). Like the NTP, RIAP is also an initiative that involves community engagement to support school teachers in addressing the gap in achieving Foundational literacy and numeracy.

Key Take-Aways:

• The Draft NEP is a welcome step to uplift our national educational system combining the traditional Indian and modern international pedagogy and emerge as leaders in the educational front.
• The clear differentiation of regulatory, governing and implementing bodies removes any conflict of interest and would ensure better quality education.
• The Census exams proposed at standard 3, 5, and 8 are not to be confused with board exams. They are a way to assess the student’s ability to understand the minimum requirements for that stage and if there is a mismatch noticed, then the needed corrective action with additional teaching/learning support could be provided.
• The three-language system is expected at basic proficiency. Learning more than one language in a diverse nation like ours increases the prospects of better career planning and makes relocation (due to globalization) seem like a breeze. 
• Imbibing 21st Century skills and increasing the employability of graduating students.
• Concept of school blocks, which necessarily do not mean the closing of small schools, but combining of facilities of bigger schools with that of the small school that cannot scale up to become big enough so that the student learning is enhanced and hindrances due to scalability can be avoided.
• Bringing World-Class universities (similar to Elite Universities of the USA) by urging the Type 1 colleges to increase standards to meet the necessary requirement. Similarly, Type 2 and 3 colleges to continuously strive to up their standards to better themselves in delivering quality education to the graduates enrolled in their institutions.
• The focus to shift from rote learning to experiential and practical learning for all ages. 
• Equip our children with the confidence to face exams instead of fear and shift the focus from marks to learning outcomes and subject knowledge understanding.

As a concluding remark, the organisers TNYTF, Bluewhistle, and the experts & panelists alike urged the participants themselves and the general public to read through the draft (even if the time duration to give suggestions has expired by now). As this policy has the capacity to run its course for at least 2 decades (if not 3), it can undergo revisions if needed. If anyone wishes to submit their recommendations, suggestions, changes, concerns or comments on draft NEP, it is now very easy to do so. Just register yourself on Mygov.in and then look up Draft NEP 2019 and then give your feedback (this page also has links to the summary of the policy in different languages) on the respective section as you would like to.

I know it was a long read (hence the 2 part article), but I think it was very important to share the information based on facts, to remove the misinformation that is spreading panic and confusion among a various section of the population. Also, this is going to impact each and every individual or family irrespective of your stake on the system. So please download the Draft NEP (English) and read it, or at least skim through it like a non-fictional read! The summary of the draft is also available in other languages. Here is a link to the Tamil and Hindi version for the summary.

Draft National Education Policy (NEP) - An invigorating day-long dialogue practitioners (Part 1)

On 27-July-2019 (Sat), I attended a dialogue on the much-discussed and debated, Draft National Education Policy (NEP) 2019 at D.G. Vaishnav College, organised and hosted by Tamil Nadu Young Thinkers Forum (TNYTF), in association with D.G. Vaishnav College.

I had already started reading the draft before this meeting. Skimming through this sheer volume of 484-pages document was a bit daunting. I spent more time on Early Childhood Care and Education (ECCE) & Foundational Literacy and Numeracy sections. I personally felt, both these topics were well-documented (excellent English) and well researched on every possible aspect.

The speakers of the event were veterans in the education sector, who had been in the practice for at least more than 2 decades. There were prominent Educationalists, University/College/School Principals, Deans, CEOs of career planning/reskilling firms, EdTech Consultants, Social Entrepreneurs/workers, and volunteers, with years of varied experiences and exposure

The agenda of the program was for these speakers to pick each section of the NEP and giving a gist of what it says, their understanding, appreciation and criticism on the same and finally providing suggestions on what can be included or changed to make it better. What more could I have asked for to find an easy but very efficient route, to better understand the whole document in a single day?

The day started with Mr. Sundara Velavan from TNYTF welcoming the participants who filled the auditorium, followed by Tamil Thaai vazhthu, brought back memories of my school choir days. Following that, Mr. Nandakumar Venkatraman, Director-Datta Education Consultants, to set the context for the day’s proceedings. I was taken by surprise when I heard a name familiar from my school days - My Principal Sir, from secondary school. As a student, I admired him for his articulate and factual delivery of the speech on any topic.

He gave a brief history about the NEP starting with the Kothari Commission (1964-66), the NEP of 1986, and a few more. He touched upon the major revisions that it underwent, spoke about how this current draft NEP 2019 was the effort of two experts with TSR Subramanian Committee doing the initial work and after him, the current Draft NEP was brought together by the team which was chaired by K. Kasturirangan, Former Chairman, ISRO (among many other positions to his credit). His request to the audience was to listen to the day’s proceedings, get factual information about the draft, and then share it to challenge the misinformation that is making rounds in the various media (social networks, WhatsApps etc.).

He introduced Dr. S. Vaidhyasubramaniam, Vice Chancellor and TCS Chair Professor of Management, Sastra University, and welcomed him on stage to speak on Higher Education (Reforms in Institutional Governance and Regulation).

Dr. Vaidhyasubramaniam, who was consulted by both TSR Subramanian and K Kasturirangan, while the draft was being formulated, started with a brief on the 4 different models of governance, introduced the various governing and regulatory bodies (RSA, NEHRA, NRF, NAAC, NCTE, AICTE, etc.) that were responsible in future for the functioning of the Higher Educational Institutions (HEIs). He also spoke on the usage of the nomenclature - College, University, Deemed University and such. He was sure that this policy will be passed in the parliament session and was hopeful that the enactments (Central and State) that followed and the regulations designed would help in keeping the spirit of the policy intact. He also stated that the various regulatory and evaluating bodies will not have any conflict of interest as clear lines of responsibilities and roles will have to be defined for each of them. His take was that the policy was an outcome-based policy was good for the better future of education. It will also urge educational institutions to up their ante and rise up to world-class institutions quality standards.

Mr. Tamilselvan Mahalingam, Founder & CEO Future Captains, spoke on the section covering Professional Education. His stance, like his predecessor, was that the policy was great and he impressed upon the fact that the policy talks about skilling (through PMKVY) and 21st-century skills needed for career planning and development. He talked about the scholarship program that is being recommended for professional education and registered his concern for the proper regulation of its disbursement. He also felt that there was not enough said about the legal education & entrepreneurial curriculum as he felt these were very relevant and more focus. He insisted on career planning and exploration being part of the higher and professional education.

The panel discussion that followed him was on Vocational Education, Skills and Jobs. The stage was occupied by three vibrant (probably even diverse I could say from their thought perspective) people – Mr. Rajaram Muthukrishnan, Founder - Swatantra Foundation, Ms. Swati Komandur, CEO - Sixerclass, and Mr. Rajendran Dandapani, Vice Chancellor, Zoho University. The panel discussion started with a light note with the panelists confessing that like the audience they also have not gone through the entire 484 pages of the draft but did read up on relevant sections that spoke on skilling using a word search. This being the high note of the discussion, it was quite vibrant and touched upon various aspects of skilling as discussed in the policy and currently existing in the industry. Main highlights included:

1. The mindset change (to not look down upon) that was needed towards vocational studies as they are no less than the “professional studies”.
2. The need for internship exposure to enhance the knowledge on the practice of the profession rather than textbook-based learning.

In fact, Mr. Rajendran went on record stating that if this policy was implemented a few years ago, then he would not have taken the decision to home school his child! The panel discussion ended with a wishlist of the policy to include about Maker mindset, talk about 'collaborate & co-operate' rather than compete, focus on the mindset change towards Industrial Training Institute (ITI) education.

Next on stage was Mr. Saikrishnan, Managing Trustee - Nidharsanam Charitable Trust. A school dropout himself, he spoke on what he expected from school education and why he was a dropout. He insisted that he has not read the policy and his main aim to come to this dialogue was with the hope to understand the policy better (just like most of the participants) from the experts and practitioners. From what he had heard on the news and from people around him, he said he welcomes the census exams (3, 5, & 8) as he thinks that this would give a gauge on the capabilities and understanding levels of the child and if needed, a necessary intervention to course correct the learning path of that child (to avoid/reduce dropouts). He also urged the need to inculcate problem-solving outlook and a liking towards education.

We broke for lunch but the dialogues continued even at the lunch table. I was humbled to share the table with 5 other eminent personalities. With so much of food going in for my intellect, my actual hunger pangs were almost negligible. I ate because I did not want to feel hungry during the second half of the marathon.

Post Lunch Sessions continued in Part 2.

Taking a Stab at Creating Short Stories & Snippets

My journey as a writer has evolved multifold and recently I have been brave enough to venture out as a contributor to other popular social platforms. The one I have had the most delightful experience is @ Momspresso. This platform enabled me to explore writing in my mother tongue (Tamil) despite the fact that I only learnt the basics of the written form of the language (the spoken and written form are very different). Having moved around to different schools during my schooling days (by virtue of my Dad's job as a banker) within India, I had to choose a language that would remain common in all the State and Central curriculum (so, Hindi was my second language in school).

I have picked a few of my100 Word Challenges that I enjoyed creating @ Momspresso, which were straight from my heart. I also won Weekly Prompt challenges, some of them conducted in association with popular publishing houses. Would love to hear from you, to see if they resonate with similar experiences you'd have seen in your life.
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On moving back to India, after a decade of living as an immigrant resident in foreign countries, the sight of minors on motorbikes troubled me a lot. This post was with respect to that:

I Hope it is not Arjun!

Vinay and Sharada together hurried to the nearest police station. At the entrance, they saw their favourite motorbike that Arjun, their 15 yr old son, had taken to run a few errands for them. It was damaged beyond repair. Expecting the worst, they went in to inquire about their missing son. The inspector said, "Your son is in critical condition. Go to the Govt. Hospital ICU". Sharada was breathless... Just then she heard a resounding Vrooom of a bike. Waking up from her nap, she rushed down to ensure it wasn't her son, Arjun, who was driving the bike.
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The hopeless romantic and optimist that I am, the normalcy of every marital relationship, after a few initial years of romance, prompted me to write on how even simple things can bring back the spark into the marital life however lengthy and monotonous it has been.

The Second Proposal

In a room full of family and friends celebrating their 25th anniversary, Riya was feeling lonely. She wished life had a rewind button to go back to the time when she felt alive, not just a role - mother, wife, daughter, in-law!

Suddenly the lights went out. Riya turned to go to her book room. The room echoed "I am because of you. Sorry I haven't been around a lot, lately."

'Will you be my w(l)ife?' projected on the wall. Lights came on. Rishab was kneeling before her. She hugged him and cried, "I love you!"
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The hopelessness of sexual abuse becoming a piece of everyday news initiated this rant:

Stuck in a Rut Even When the Obvious Stares in your Face!

Every alternate day at least, we read about it.
Every once in a while we talk about the hopelessness of the situation.
Every person takes to the street to protest such a heinous act of crime

This goes on for a few weeks, and sometimes months, and then the human memory happens. The incident, event, and the emotions that it invoked is forgotten and life goes back to its old self - new victims in the making, a more heinous sexual act in some part of the world ready to unfold and the whole nine yards repeats without a change.
___________________________

My eternal wish, of Empathy and Humanity driving actions of every individual, will automatically make mindfulness & equality as a way of life, brought these words to life.

Colours of Hope Disintegrate the Screen of Black Smoke

The rise of awareness, the increasing loudness of opinions and voices against the social issues, the double standards that is prevalent based on gender, gives hope that slowly and steadily the black curtain of smoke, that is covering the colours of true happiness of living a life driven by the rules of empathy and humanity, will eventually disintegrate and vanish. That would be the real burst of colours in all our lives.

A world where everyone is respected and lauded equally without the bias of any categories.

____________________________

My first attempt in தமிழ் for a blogging prompt விலைமதிப்பற்றது. I won this weekly prompt challenge and got featured... A thrilling and fulfilling experience for a first attempt. As a winning reward, I was called for a Facebook (FB) Live to read out my story and had a first FB live experience. 

பாலியல் சமத்துவத்தை நிறுவ பெண்களின் முக்கிய பங்கு

பெண் அமைதிகாப்பது இயலாமையில் அல்ல, புரிதலில். 

ஒரு குடும்பத்தின் ஆளுமைக்கான பெருமையை ஆணுக்கு கொடுக்கும் இந்த சமுதாயம் மறக்கும் விஷயம், அந்த குடும்பத்தை சீராக வழிநடத்தி செல்வது முற்றிலும் ஒரு பெண் என்பவளே! 

ஒரு ஆண் தன் உள்ளுரணர்வையும் இயலாமையையும் வெளிப்படுத்துவதை தூற்றும் இதே சமுதாயம் தான், மானத்தையும் மரியாதையையும் ஒரு பெண்ணின் ஆடையிலும் ஒழுக்கத்தை அவளின் பழக்க வழக்கங்களிலும் தேடுகிறது.

ஒரு தாய் (பெண்) நினைத்தால் தன் மகனையும் மகளையும் வேற்றுமையின்றி ஒரே நெறிகளை கற்றுக்கொடுத்து வளர்க்க முடியும். பெண்ணுக்கு எது தவறோ, அது ஆணுக்கும் தவறு. ஆணுக்கு எது சரியோ அது பெண்ணுக்கும் சரியே. 

சமையலறையும் வீட்டு வேலையும் பெண்ணின் சொத்து அல்ல. குடும்பத்தில் இருக்கும் அனைவருக்கும் அது பொதுவானவையே. இதை ஒரு பெண் மனதில் உறுதியாக கொண்டு வாழ்ந்தால், இந்த சமுதாயத்திற்கு மாறுவதை தவிர வேறு வழி இல்லாமல் போகும். இந்த பாலியல் சமத்துவம் விலைமதிப்பற்றது!

(Translation of the above post for the tag word - Precious

Title - Women's Role in bringing about Gender Equality

A woman's silence implies an understanding of the situation, not helplessness.

This society that places a man on a pedestal and gives him the power to dominate and lead the family, fails to realise that the actual leading and guiding is done by the female of the home. 

This society that ridicules a man who wears his heart and emotions on the sleeve for being too weak, claims that a woman's conduct and respect is defined by the attire she wears and her social habits and her friends' group.

A mother has the power in her parenting methods to ensure that her children grow up without gender bias. What is right for a boy/man is right for a girl/woman and what is wrong for a girl/woman is wrong for a boy/man.

Household chores and kitchen are not exclusive to a woman. Everyone in the family should share these chores. If a woman lives her life with these thoughts as her guiding force, then this world has no choice but to change. This gender equality is the most precious of all.)

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Again the same kind of news on children and women being victims of gender bias and sexual harassment and abuse news (more specifically, a child who was sexually abused and murdered near her home) initiated this rant in my mother tongue (Tamil), where such raw emotions are better expressed.

அ‌ரிது அ‌ரிது பெ‌ண்ணா‌‌ய் ‌பிற‌ப்பது அ‌ரிது

அ‌ரிது அ‌ரிது பெ‌ண்ணா‌‌ய் ‌பிற‌ப்பது அ‌ரிது என்று ஒ‌ளவையா‌ர் அன்று சொன்னார். 

இன்று, தினம் ஒரு செய்தி - பெண், பெண் பிள்ளை மட்டும் அல்ல, பெண் குழந்தையின் பாலியல் பலாத்காரம். ஒரு பெண்ணின் உடை ஆபாசத்தை தூண்டுகிறது என்ற அபத்தமான குற்றச்சாட்டு வலுவிழந்தது. 

ஒரு மூதாட்டியின் நடையிலும் உடையிலும் என்ன ஆபாசம்? 

ஒரு நடைபழகாத அல்லது பழகும் குழந்தையின் உடையில் கூட ஆபாசம் இருக்கிறதோ?

ஒருவேளை அவர்களின் பாவங்கள் காமத்தை தூண்டுகிறதோ?

காதலை மறுத்தாலும் ஏற்றாலும் அவளின் உயிரை மாய்த்து விடும் இந்த சமுதாயம். வேலைக்கு சென்றால் குற்றம், படித்துவிட்டு வீட்டில் இருந்தால் குற்றம், அரசியல் மற்றும் பொதுநலம் பேசினால் குற்றம், சுயநலமாய் இருந்தால் குற்றம், நடந்தால் குற்றம், நின்றால் குற்றம், சிரித்தால் குற்றம் ... ஒரு பெண் இன்று சுவாசிப்பதே குற்றமாக கருதும் நிலை மனதை பாரமாக்குகிறது.

இனிமேலாவது ஆண்களுக்கு, பெண்களை எப்படி மதிப்பது என்பதை கற்றுத்தருவோம்.

(Translation of the above post

Title: The rarest gift of time is to be born as a Woman (The title is a quote from a poem of Auvaiyaar)

Auvaiyaar said a long time ago "The rarest gift is to be born as a Woman".

Today, rape & abuse of not just women, but girl child as young as few months old, and women as old as 80 years, is everyday news. In this context, the argument that the seductive dress that a woman wears is what instigates such crimes loses its value.

What sensuality does one see in the wrinkled ageing lady almost nearing the last stages of her life or in a newborn just crawling or learning to walk child wearing a cute skirt/frock/shorts/baby nappy? Maybe their facial reactions and smiles might induce feelings of sensuality for the perverted mind!

A society that doesn't let a girl live her life irrespective of whether she accepts or rejects a proposal of love extended to her. She is judged irrespective of whether she chooses to stay-at-home or to be a working woman after completing her graduation, has a political opinion, is selfish, is selfless. Anything she chooses to do it is always her fault when something goes south and this situation pains me.

At least from now, let us teach a boy/man to treat a girl/woman right and to respect her as a human being.)

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Typical Day If Something Goes Missing - Won The Hachette India Contest!

Pic. Courtesy: Google Images

Today evening I received my prize for winning the Contest Alert on March 9, from Hachette India. The challenge for the contest was to 'Create a story about a typical day if something goes missing'. Below is my entry for the same which won me the book - THE GOLLANCZ BOOK OF SOUTH ASIAN SCIENCE FICTION. I am thrilled and excited to start reading this book.

This is my first attempt at writing fiction.

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It is 7 a.m. in the morning. Aashi and Aadi walk down the stairs, as always, half asleep, to get to the wash basin to brush their teeth. The house is unusually silent for this time of the day, but they are still unaware of the eerie silence. They enter the kitchen and find that their morning hot drink is ready for them, which they pick up and drink and then switch on the TV. After 15 minutes, Aashi, heads to take bath and get ready for school while Aadi is still seated on the couch watching TV. Nishanth (their Dad) is sleeping. Aashi, on her way to the bathroom, wakes up her Dad and heads to the take bath. Nishanth, comes down for his coffee and notices the silence (or rather just the noise that is coming from the TV and nothing else). A school day morning is never silent. What was wrong? He heads to the kitchen and finds it empty. He thought he didn't see Nithya beside him when he woke up and she is neither here in the kitchen, and that too on a working morning. Now he is concerned and looks in every room, but she is nowhere. His heart is beating fast and he is very close to a panic attack. He rushes outside hoping to find her in the garden or walking around in the community only to have his hopes crushed. Now he is in full-blown panic mode.

He comes inside and asks Aadi if he saw his mom. Aadi says, "No papa."

Aashi is out of her bath and Nishanth asks her "Do you know where your Mom is?"

Aashi says, "I thought she was in the bath in your room."

Nishant says, "No, I have searched for her everywhere but I can't find her."

Aashi says, "Did you try calling her mobile or messaging her on hangouts?"

Nishanth does both only to find that the phone was ringing in their room. Now he goes frantic with anxiety, wondering if she actually did take his word seriously and walked out on him to her Mom's place or elsewhere, as he had asked her to when they were arguing the previous night, just before hitting bed. He picked up his phone to call his Mother-in-law, but then stopped himself. What would he tell his mom-in-law if Nithya wasn't there? Just then, Aadi notices that it is time for his bath and walks up the stairs, picks his clothes from his room, and then opens the door to the sit out calling out, "Ma, it is time for my bath. Can you help me with some warm water please?"

Nithya, promptly responds, "It is already done. Go and take your bath.".

She walks down the stairs with her head held high and a knowing smile on her face (and a glint of pride in her eyes only for Nishanth to see) and into the kitchen to pack the children's lunches. Understanding dawns on Nishanth and he realises how much he took her presence for granted and vows to himself to give more quality time for Nithya and their personal relationship over and beyond the roles they play as spouses, parents, among others. He now knows that Nithya is his earthing and he needs her by his side always for him to be the successful husband, father, employee, son, brother, and friend. A few seconds of her absence was enough to realise her importance in his life.

Life lessons that we can take from 3 Idiots

3 Idiots - a movie that released during Christmas 2009, starring Amir Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Madavan, Sharman Joshi, Boman Irani, Javed Jaffery to name a few. I wrote a quick short review, when I first saw this movie during the Jan 2010. I even received a comment for that post mentioning that it already has a cult status. Now after 9 years of first seeing this movie, I must have seen it countless times and still haven’t gotten tired of it, those review pointers are still relevant. I even saw the Tamil remake of it in 2012 - Nanban starring Vijay, Ileana D’Curz, Jiva, Satyaraj, Srikanth, S.J. Surya. Personally, I prefer the Hindi version (probably because I saw the Hindi version first, but both are equally good)

Every time I see it, depending on the stage of my maturity I have seen layers in the movie that conveyed a message to every role that I have played till now. You might ask, “How”?. Here is a break down of what I saw and learnt from the movie:

Warning - For those who haven’t yet seen the movie there are a lot of spoilers on the story line and the characters. Maybe this is your chance to see this movie yourself and if you are a parent, please do see it with your children (age 6 and above will surely enjoy this movie)

Phunsuk Wangdu -The main character (protagonist) - called by many other names in a movie (mainly Rancho by his college mates), is a lifetime learner who keeps his creativity alive. His thirst to 'learn it all' (any way you can) along with the aspect of wanting to simplify it for use for the development of the community and make the process of learning enjoyable is very contagious. His character is inspired from a real life role model Sonam Wangchuk. His target is not marks or grades but the quest for information and how to use that information to attain efficiency and effectiveness with limited resources. 

Learning

1. He teaches us the importance of staying a lifetime learner and how that can keep you younger than most and stress free.
2. Every failure can be a learning experience.
3. Always stay calm and stay in your ‘Zen state’ in order to be able to achieve better.
4. Studies is just a means to reach your destination.
5. Encourage out-of-the-box thinking, practical applications of learning, & keep the creative trait alive by using it to enhancing life skills.
6. Learn to question authority when necessary and when they deserved to be questioned.

Virus (Dr. Viru Sahastrabuddhe) - the antagonist - the strict college principal who has a very strong conviction about doctrinal method of teaching and is unyieldingly stubborn in believing that being the first (top) is the most important target in one's life (Winning the rat race). He is also quite miserable most of the time as his target is always to be at the top which naturally creates stress.

Learning 

1. A little bit of flexibility to deviate from norm when needed.
2. To be humane towards the needs of the students.
3. Focus on performing to the best of one’s abilities.
4. Rat race and winning it, is not everything in life.
5. Challenge the monotonous and outdated curriculum and teaching methodology of institutions.

All the above are welcome aspects for one's personal sanity and contentment.

From a parent's perspective, 

1. Mad rush towards the tag of “Engineering” or such professional courses isn't the only career option. 
2. Career / course option should be more by choice than force.
3. Learn to listen to what your child is saying, to identify the strength of your child and support them to explore untried path as well as long as it is not detrimental to their progress. 

Virus’s son (gets mentioned when Pia, his daughter, reveals the real reason why her brother took his own life) and Joy Lobo (the boy who begs Virus for an extension for project submission date which he denies) 

Learning

1. By giving up they might have found a way out of the personal humiliation that failure might bring but in the process they end up giving life long pain and suffering to their family and friends. 
2. It is inhumane to pressurize people by threatening/humiliating them with failure. 

Farhan Qureshi - a student from a middle class background who is torn between the fact of wanting to live his parent’s dream of their child becoming an engineer and wanting to follow his heart and pursue photography as a profession but is unable to muster the courage to speak to his parents. Eventually with Rancho’s support speaks to his parents and convinces them to let him pursue his passion. He then goes on to have a fulfilling career once his internship is completed.

Raju Rastogi - a student from an impoverished background with an ailing father, a older spinster sister, and a retired school teacher mom who keeps reminding him that it is he who needs to shoulder the family’s responsibilities once he finishes his studies in flying colours and gets placed in a white collared job during campus recruitment. He finally manages to break free of the stress (that pushes him to attempt suicide) that this combination of expectations and doctrinal educational methods create and goes on to become a successful executive.

Learning from the above two: 

1. Turn the focus from Fear Of Failure (FOF) to Fun Of Learning (FOL). 
2. Build confidence to speak your mind (to parents and authority figures) with mutual respect & confidence in self. 
3. Be ready to learn and adapt.
4. Attempting to end one’s life is never a solution to escape from stress.

Pia and Mona Sahastrabuddhe - daughters of Virus who in their own individualistic ways play a part in standing up to their father’s wrongful convictions and methods. Eventually, they do nudge their father to accepting the (above) three students that he despises the most due to their antics. 

Learning 

1. Have the courage to stand up to your parents/authority when you know they are wrong.

Chatur Ramalingam (nicknamed Silencer) - A Tamil speaking student who has little knowledge of Hindi (In the Tamil version of the movie, he takes on the character of an Anglo-Indian who doesn’t know literature Tamil). When Rancho changes the speech that he delivers on stage for a college fest, he is publicly humiliated which turns him to despise these three for almost a decade. Eventually, though he is the VP in a USA based firm, he still has to run behind targets and deal closures for his job security. 

Learning

1. Difference between fun and public humiliation (to be avoided). 
2. Being the top in class is not everything.

With exams around the corner, it would be nice if parents and children together watched this movie again to refresh on what is necessary and what is not, re-evaluate priorities, and approach the exams with less stress and more joy as exams are one of the many means of evaluating one’s level of understanding. It is not the end of life and it is surely not a reason to end one's life!