Book Review - Lost Edges by Salini Vineeth

Disclaimer: There may be a few spoilers and if you would like to read the book without being influenced by the review, please come back here after reading the book.

As reviews started coming in about the book, touching upon mental health and its importance, I decided to order the book. I placed the amazon order on 28 May 2023 and the book was due to be delivered on 30 May 2023. While I was eagerly awaiting to receive my book, Life had a different plan for me though. On 29 May 2023, I was injured in a freak road accident, admitted in the hospital for compound fracture in my right tibia & fibula which resulted in a surgery and put a long road of recovery. The book arrived on 30 May 2023 and my family brought it to the hospital the next day.

I started reading the book during my hospital stay. It helped me navigate through my own emotional journey during my recovery as I was reading about the life journeys of Geetanjali & Ravi. 

The very first chapter caught my attention specifically because of the aspect of how well it dwelled on the internal conundrum of Ravi in the waiting room of a mental health professional and the myriad of irrational thoughts that keep popping in his consciousness asserting the Tamil idiom “மனம் ஒரு குரங்கு” (Manam oru Kurangu - meaning our mind is a monkey – or more elaborately, our mind jumps around like a monkey with no rhyme or reason). As his mind jumps around, we also a get a glimpse of Geetu (Geetanjali) from his perspective. As the story progresses, it was a pleasure reading the inferences of events from both Ravi & Geetanjali’s perspectives. This is the reality of life. Every incident has multiple perspectives. These perspectives are from the biased views of the specific individuals who view them through their biased lenses that are a result of their lived experiences from childhood that shape their values systems and learning as a result of navigating situations & circumstances.

Amit, the friend who is the first point of contact for Geetanjali to seek out for professional relationship counselling, does justice to both his personal and professional relationship, by making sure that he just serves as a first point of contact guiding them towards the appropriate support systems either of them need and not letting the conflict of interest of the personal relationship cloud over the professional services that he could be providing. The hand off has been dealt very well.

The research for the book for addressing the sensitive topic of mental health care, childhood trauma and its long-lasting impact including the shaping of one’s persona, importance of therapy, the Indian context of the associated taboo & inhibition is evident in the way the plot unfolds. Both the lead characters have their fair share of childhood trauma and experiences that have been instrumental in shaping their coping mechanisms, which travels with them well into adulthood. 

Though Arnav as a character is very short lived in the plot, he still managed to make a place in my mind as I saw him to be an individual with a deeper character who could be largely misunderstood by most, as he does not care to fit into the societal mould of expectations. He is his own master and slave to none. 

I loved how the story ventured into the different relationships & their quality, that each of the lead roles have in their life – parental, sibling, and friends. And in doing so, the plot touches upon the way they perceive every challenge that life throws at them. Without mentioning the technical terms, the plot touches upon temperament, lived experiences, resilience, trauma, PTSD, self-medication (and its harm), and more. 

Kudos to the author, Salini Vineeth, for being verbal about the need for regular follow ups for prescribed medication and its adjustment for better mental health. She also highlights the need for the psychiatric treatment and therapeutic intervention to go hand in hand and overlap with each other for the intervention to be effective for the individual seeking these services and support. 

As a person who has been passionate about human behaviour and its drivers, I have consciously pursued to qualify myself to understand this from a holistic perspective in both educational context as well as in reading up about current research including interdisciplinary research in biology, sociology, & psychology that shed light on the interplay of these fields in driving human behaviour. From this position, I would say the Salini Vineeth has done a fabulous job of bringing the interplay of emotions, relationships, and environment on an individual’s behaviour shaping beautifully. The importance of appropriate support systems and the complexity of its availability in the Indian context is also well highlighted. 

I would recommend that this book be read by mental health professionals too for them to understand the client’s world with its multiple layers and their complex interplay on the client’s cognition, behaviour, and everyday choices. This will enrich the therapeutic intervention for the client, as it will be an approach that is holistic. It might also motivate the therapist/professional to explore & understand areas outside their specific area of expertise, thereby making eclectic intervention a norm in therapeutic strategy! 

Salini Vineeth – also an alumnus like me from BITS, Pilani, has also authored other books: 

1. Everyday People: Tales of People you know, a collection of short stories. This was the first book that I read. What pulled me to read this was her Tiny Tales. I have been a fan of her writing long before this book because of Tiny Tales. She has a way with words in expressing the layers in the fabric of human emotions and interaction.
2. Magic Square, a novella. This is on my TBR (To Be Read) list.
3. Travel Guides for Hampi and Badami.

In addition to the above self-published books, she has also been part of a few anthologies. Her stories have also been published in various magazines. You can find the links to these on her website.

This post is also part of Blogchatter’s #TBRChallenge 2023. This blog is also part of #CauseAChatter challenge, as this book focuses on individual mental health and its long standing impact on relationships through its various characters. 

This is not a sponsored review.

Book Review - BITS and pieces by Harshita Nanda

Setting the context (or should I say disclaimer) before I delve deep into this book review – I am a BITSian too, Harshita & Girija’s batchmate, have been their ‘wingie’ during my 5 years (a dualite) in BITS, Pilani. So as Girija mentions in the foreword ‘It was a pleasure illustrating her BITS and bits of my BITS through this wonderful book’, my book review might be a place where I share my BITS as I review Harshita Nanda’s BITS. So, if you feel my review is biased, you now know why!

By the way, if you are wondering what wingie means, you can read all about it in Chapter 23 of the book BITS and pieces : A Collage of My BITSian Memories 😊. 

Incidentally this is the first book that I got issued from the Blogchatter’s Book Review programme. 

I always read any book from the foreword to the glossary, and I was pleasantly surprised to find my name in the acknowledgment section of the book, and I was jumping up and down in joy because that made me feel it was like old times again, journeying together – took me back to our BSL days from when we were together in BITS. And the mention of BSL in Chapter 2 of the book took me on a trip down my memory lane which included the streets of Triplicane, Chennai (India), where one could scout for used books at heavily discounted price (better your bargaining power, the better is the deal). This was my go-to place for filling the racks of BSL with choice of books that I wanted to read and stock-up for my fellow BITSians. I am sure by now you are itching to know what BSL expands to😊, you can buy your copy of BITS and pieces and jump to Chapter 2.

As her narration continued from one chapter to another, my personal memories of BITS were also playing out in my mind and I vividly remember getting ready for the Fresher’s welcome in a Black & Grey silk saree (my Mom’s), as an invitee of Bharath (my now spouse) to his hostel (Ram Bhavan) day and then the memory is fuzzy. I don’t remember if I went and got back or as I came to the open space near the entrance of MB we were told that the fresher’s welcome was cancelled. Now you are wondering what MB means… I know 😊… There are two expansions for MB with a slight differentiation and both these expansions are part of the Chapter 13.

When I was reading the book, I noted down a lot of points and pages as references on which I wanted to talk about. Seeing how just talking about a couple of memories, has made my book review verbose, I am just going to add one more part of the book that was a pleasant surprise… It is a mention of me again in the Chapter 20, when she was talking about our cherished train journey on Tamil Nadu Express. While I knew I had relatives meet me at a couple of stations in between Madras (now Chennai) and Delhi, I completely zoned out on the home food that got delivered to me. This was a welcome aspect especially on our journey back home from Delhi as we would be dependent on the food from the pantry car or the snacks, we picked up on specific stations like Itarsi for bread omelette, Nagpur for the oranges (especially during the season) and Vijayawada for its Aam paapad.

 

A review of this amazing book, about BITS & its personal vocabulary which is weaved into our personalised memories for every BITSian, would be incomplete if I do not mention a few more things:

• Blue Moon's Fried Maggi is an emotion that connects generations of BITSians. (Chapter 3)
• Saraswati Mandir on the campus was my go-to place when I needed to centre myself. The inner sanctum and the lawns outside on either side of the temple were my favourite spots to achieve inner peace. The eyes of the goddess Saraswathi seemed to emanate compassion and love that felt like the fuzzy safe hug of a mother. (Chapter 19)
• OASIS - Annual BITS Cultural Fest - meant 5 days of staying outside the hostel without worrying about the curfew at girls’ hostel. Of course, the current generation would not know what that curfew meant as it has been removed. (Chapter 15)

I have just one disappointment as I was reading Chapter 15, which is, the club that I was part of when I was a student at BITS, Creative Activities Club (CrAC), which now has grown to the size of a department did not find a mention when Harshita was listing the various clubs & departments that functioned efficiently during the cultural fest of OASIS. Of course, we all were busy and engaged with our own personal groups and clubs that missing to name a couple of them is bound to happen. Yet, having donned the role of Joint. Sec and Secretary of this club for 2 consecutive terms, my attachment to this club made me feel sad when I did not find it in the list. We had various creative competitions in the Sky Lawns & Pappu’s chai was our staple drink during our college fests. 

Having talked so much about the book, my personal BITSian memory, I do not want to leave out speaking about the illustrations. I have loved Girija’s artwork from my BITSian days and actively follow her art journey on 2Flatbrush. My most favourite illustration in this book is for the Chapter 4, the letter D and of course the cover design. The common reason for liking these two is the Clock Tower, the iconic symbol of BITS, Pilani. The letter D also had the main entrance gate of our campus and the two convocation caps to indicate the unique dual degree programme, of which I am one of the beneficiaries.

BITS has been a significant piece of our lives to make a huge impact in the way we think, act, and speak. Our way of looking at problems were always as challenges that we would work to overcome, and this is what has helped many BITSians navigate change without too much of a resistance or hassle. We are ever ready to take on any challenge life has for us with a fighting attitude, and we almost always overcome the challenge with grace and success.

I mean, I would love to go on, but then this would not remain a book review of BITS & pieces then and turn into a memoire of my memories from my BITSian days. Every chapter I read, brought back memories that were personal to me, some that were overlapping with Harshita’s narration. Harshita’s narrative style captures the essence & spirit of the Pilani Campus of BITS, which is now an Institute of Eminence. 

For every BITSian alumni, this book & its narrative style would surely bring back memories and associated emotions in their fullest glory. For the current BITSian students, especially in Pilani campus, this book will serve as a comparison point to explore areas within the campus to see what has changed from the late 90s to current day. For future aspiring BITSians, I think this book will serve as a motivation to want to get to experience the magic of BITS that every BITSian will proudly vouch to and get a sneak-peek into the much talked about exclusive BITSian vocabulary. The illustrations are a true representation of everything that the words in the book talk about and close to the reality of what it used to be on campus in the late 90s and early 2Ks. You can buy this book of her’s, BITS and pieces, on Amazon. 

Harshita Nanda has also authored another book, Xanadu, which is also a title available on Amazon. Her work is also one of the featured works in the COVID-19 Anthology titled Life During COVID-19 by Antara Pandit. As a bibliophile she also shares a lot of book reviews on her personal blog, which you could use to update your To be Read list, if you have one!

I am participating in Blogchatter’s #TBRChallenge 2023. This post is part of that as well, in line with this month’s theme “My collection of books” and Blogchatter's #BookReview programme.

My first (collaborative) book – Journey so far and the path ahead

In the last 5 years, I have self-published couple of books exclusively for my family circle and an e-book on Blogchatter. Yet the possibility of working on a book for a global audience, and with a publishing house, from the scratch is always a first-time experience. Guess this is the novelty that keeps authors (and budding ones) to continue working on books and articles. Having engaged readers, like you, is always a pleasure, as it helps in improving my skills as a writer. 

I remember when I first saw the email from Let’s Author in July 2022 requesting me to get in touch with them, to get onboarded as an author for a parenting book titled How to Parent in a Crazy World. I thought that the email was a phishing email.

So the first step was to search for Let’s Author online, and to my surprise, I saw my college senior’s post on social media where she was backing an author for the book One for the Road. I still went ahead and ignored this email for almost a month or more. Suddenly in September 2022, I find the same message from Let’s Author on my LinkedIn messaging Inbox. This time I decided to engage with them. Given my personal & professional commitments, I let them know that until end of October 2022 there was no way I could spare time for this opportunity. Having said that, I wanted to, at the very least, have a conversation to understand what their proposal was. So, we decided to get on a call by end of September 2022 and from that point there has been no looking back. 

In December 2022, crowdfunding went live for this book. With no cohesion in the team, each of the initial collaborating authors spread the word of our book in our network, but the combined push was lacking and hence the crowdfunding did not take off, despite the immense value of the book. I was a bit disappointed. I decided to find out more about CEO of Let’s Author & the company, on LinkedIn, only to find that she was an alumni from my alma mater, BITS Pilani. Now the urge to connect with her was even stronger, when we were informed that the Lead Author had dropped off the project for personal reasons, and our book co-ordinator was also leaving Let’s Author.

The crowdfunding was supposed to close by 15th Jan 2023. I was told that if the pre-orders did not reach the target of 500, then this project will be scrapped. The pre-orders were the way to fund for the publishing of the book as well as see how well the book and its concept was received by the readers, a kind of a dip-stick survey of the public interest. The team that remained came together and got that extended, given that the lead author and book co-ordinator left us abruptly. 

Without any delay, I decided to bell the cat and sent an email to the entire team of remaining collaborating authors with a copy to Let’s Author asking for clarification on the status of this project along with highlighting the lapse in communication and cohesion within the team and coordination between the author team and Let’s Author publishing & marketing team. This paved the way for many changes to come including:

• A change in title of the book – Raising Children in a Changing World
• Moving into the Lead Author role for this new title, along with Jayne Ruff.
• While Jayne reworked on the concept of the book, by bringing clarity to its USP, we all brainstormed for additional chapters based on which we could source for collaborating authors & I handle the programme management aspects of the book.
• From the team of 5 who were remaining from the original project for which we came together, today we are a team of 12 collaborating authors, with each of them contributing one chapter to the book.

You can read about each of us and the chapter blurbs to know the value that we all are trying to bring to you through our book that has our parenting life stories on the crowdfunding page. The chapter blurbs can be found under the Content tab. 

What is the value that we are striving to bring to you through our effort?

Most parenting books available today are functional guides. Not a single one discusses how to become reflexive parents ourselves, attuned to our times. This is an emotional support book for parents raising kids in times of change and uncertainty. In an evolving world that’s fast-paced, unpredictable, ambiguous, and often different to our experienced childhoods, for better or worse. It’s a collection of honest and unfiltered stories from a group of international parents who hope that through openly sharing the highs and lows of their parenting journeys, they can offer reassurance, guidance, and friendship to others as they navigate theirs.

How do we plan on bringing this to you through our book?

• Sharing real-life, relatable stories about the different changes and choices facing parents today
• Offer a global perspective on parenting in a complex and ever-changing world.
• Provide practical advice based on personal experience on adapting and responding to the changes within and around us.
• Its honesty and diversity affirm that there is no one way of parenting but many.

Estimated Date of Publication/Book Launch: 30th October 2023

Here is a list of chapter titles you will see in the book:

• Chapter 1: Parenting Ourselves Before We Parent Our Children
• Chapter 2: Raising Happy Kids and Balancing a Meaningful Career
• Chapter 3: Being a 'Woke' Amma
• Chapter 4: Raising Gender Sensitive Kids 
• Chapter 5: Raising Kids in a Virtual World 
• Chapter 6: Parenting and Mental Health 
• Chapter 7: Parenting and Learning from My Special Needs Son 
• Chapter 8: Raising My Children While Re-Parenting Myself 
• Chapter 9: Raising Kids in A World Of Distraction And High Demand 
• Chapter 10: Raising a Kid as a Single Parent 
• Chapter 11: Supporting our Children through their ‘Coming Out’ Journey
• Chapter 12: Empowering from Birth

To read the chapter blurbs visit - https://payment.letsauthor.com/order?book=How-to-Parent-in-A-Crazy-World, click on Content tab, and the chapter title that you would like to glimpse. 

And if you are happy with what you are reading and would like to own a copy and support us in getting the book published, you can pre-order your copy as well by clicking on the Order Now button on the right panel. You can also see the names of the people who are backing us by placing the pre-orders under the Backers tab.

While the aspiration to write books has been a constant, this is the first time I am working with a team and I am enjoying this process of collaborative building of a book from it concept to the end product. Do visit book page and leave a comment here about what you think about our project. And do grab your copy by pre-ordering the same to learn from lived experiences of our parenting journeys to support you in yours. Do look us up on our socials and we will be happy to strike up a conversation on parenting challenges to arrive at better solutions to overcome /address them. 

The team is currently working on the individual chapters for the manuscript to be developed and sent to the publishing team in a couple of months to be on track for an October 2023 launch. 

This blog is part of Blogchatter’s:

• #CauseAChatter challenge, as this is one of the ways by which I am leaving behind my responsible #DigialFootprints as well as working together with the team for the benefit of the larger collective, not just the team benefiting by publishing, but carefully bringing authors and their respective parenting stories for the rest of the world to also benefit from their journeys and lessons.
• #TBRChallenge (#BookChatter) for the year 2023. Of course I am going to read my own book while building the manuscript as well as after. 

I also hope to see my book on the Blogchatter’s book review programme, but that is still a long time away as the book launch is only in October 2023.